(Closed) The rudest thing I've every seen printed on a wedding invitation

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 197
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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@strawbs:  

when i say Asian i MEANT in reference to Chinese, because i’m chinese. I didn’t say ALL Asia, and so i can’t refer my culture as being Asian, who are you?!?!

yeah, your the crazy who said all that rule the world crap and not me.

If i want to say i’m Asian i can say i’m asian, if you want me qualify what part i did! chinese. just like i hear japanese people say they are Asian. its a free word and its not exclusive.

 

Post # 198
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

i did not say Chinese is the only Asian, [content moderated for snark, personal attack]

Post # 199
Member
3352 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

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@Cheekyduck:  

what I said:

“please don’t disgrace the rest of us Chinese with your very rude behavior. Both the Google articles you presented gave an IDEA of how much money a guest should give, not how much a bride should expect based on how much she spent per head.”

what you said: 

“when i say Asian i MEANT in reference to Chinese, because i’m chinese. I didn’t say ALL Asia, and so i can’t refer my culture as being Asian, who are you?!?!
yeah, your the crazy who said all that rule the world crap and not me.
If i want to say i’m Asian i can say i’m asian, if you want me qualify what part i did! chinese. just like i hear japanese people say they are Asian. its a free word and its not exclusive.”

I think you are confused now.

Post # 200
Member
1008 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@babecake:  Wow! I guess having their bridal party/parents spread via ‘word of mouth’ about cash gifts only was not enough? My inner prankster would be inclined to deposit one penny into their account. 😀

Post # 201
Member
1692 posts
Bumble bee

I am trying to imagine Sophia’s and Arianna’s nicely-brought-up Chinese friends printing something like this on an invitation. These are girls who will not accept an invitation to lunch because their mother has taught them not to be a burden; girls who have been taught that they need to decline any offered gifts because accepting the gift would make them seem greedy. I am sure they will get Red Envelopes at their weddings just as they get them at New Year’s — and accept them, because apparently Red Envelopes aren’t greed-betraying the way lunches and birthday-presents are(?). But ask for money outright? No, I don’t think so.

Because when something is a norm in your culture you can just allow it to happen. Whether it is showers of material household goods, or money dances, or cash gifts, your friends and relatives can make it happen if it really is a cultural norm. The Ukrainian bride who refuses to do a dollar dance will find her godfather slipping the DJ a twenty to play an appropriate song, and her uncles and cousins stepping up to pin bills to her dress whether she asks for it or not. It is when you have to force your money-collecting along with poems or “cute honesty” or outre claims to other people’s thousand-dollar bills, then you are also forcing the limits of my suspension of disbelief.

Different cultures have different customs. The members of those cultures — be they Chinese or Greek or Italian or what have you — know and accept the customs, and don’t need to be taught by self-serving brides. These strong traditional cultures tend to have a strong tradition of brides’ being shy, sweet young virgins who are too innocent to be presenting themselves as money-grubbing harpies, and it makes the uncles and godfathers feel all beneficent and manly to get to press their generosity onto the young couple rather than having their loonies wrung out of them by the couple’s tight fists. The people who DO need to be instructed on handing over the goods, are the friendws and relatives of brides who are trying to adopt someone else’s remunerative tradition.

When the proponent of some custom says “I know this is NOT the other person’s culture and that they are breaking THEIR cultural norms, but what they are doing is acceptable in MY culture so therefore it is okay for THEM to do;” then yes, the debate has descended to the level of ethnocentric prejudice. Ethnocentric prejudice, I would aver, on the part of the person making that somewhat hypocritical argument.

Post # 202
Member
1338 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

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@Cheekyduck:  There is NO need for you to say shut your dumb face! to
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@strawbs:  or anyone else here.

That is childish and inappropriate.

Post # 203
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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@strawbs:  sorry i reply to wrong person. that comment was not meant for you. the person above you. so my bad.

 

but to answer you

the google article was based on the fact people claim that i made up you should bring money. It is not a made up custom, and it exists!

how much money like the google article is based on the relationship.

the money i stated is how much i gave in the past, not what I expect, but what was expected of me.

but yes the rule explained to me was based on per head, as you see in the google article is quite common.

Post # 204
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee

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@MangoSong:  

That one may have been for me LOL.  I am usually a baby compared to everyone else in forums like this, but I feel quite mature right now!

Post # 206
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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@yumiyumi:  no it was too babecake 

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@MangoSong:  yes! to say i said Chinese rule the world is BS, i never said that! [content moderated for personal attack]

Post # 208
Member
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

How simply rude the invite was…..

Post # 210
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee

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@babecake:  

In any case, back to the original topic.  Even if that bride were blood, I would decline and not send them a single thing.  You’re more generous than I am!

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