(Closed) The rudest thing I've every seen printed on a wedding invitation

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 47
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@babecake:  Yea, when you said they never bother to give a gift, that sort of irked me too, and definitely made me reconsider my statement about you just going ahead and giving the first intended gift. I can see why you are making your gift more conditional, and I can’t blame you for thinking that way, honestly. I am curious if they will send out Thank You’s…I’d put money on “no”.

Post # 50
7382 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

At least they didn’t include a minimum!

Post # 52
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

That’s just Rude!!!!! there are different ways to hint that they would like cash

Post # 54
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Am I the only one that feels this is the natural extension of our society’s insanity regarding wedding presents? Sure, they are taking it to the extreme, but it’s a logical step to take.

1)people are expected to give a gift when they come to a wedding

2)it is a good assumption, then, that people are going to be wanting to give me gifts for my wedding

3)since I am getting these gifts I may as well get ones I am going to use, so I will register for gifts and give the guests this information

4)I don’t need any household items, so since everyone will be giving me gifts anyways, they may as well give us cash to use

5) since they’re giving us cash, it makes more sense for them to just deposit it into our accounts rather than going through cheques, which just adds an unnecessary middle-man

If you buy into the whole social norm regarding wedding gifts, I see how this works. I hate the whole kit and kaboodle, so we’re just avoiding it entirely, but I really have a hard time faulting them for it. It goes against some arbitrary social rules, but it really is a reasonable conclusion, given the premise.

I just feel like the whole wedding gift idea is a strange enigma. Sure, we’re forced to say out loud that “of course we don’t expect any gifts. Our guests’ presence is their gift to us” but then we all go and register for these gifts we “aren’t expecting” and then get kind of offended when people don’t give us them. Does no one else think this is bat-shit insane? Why do we think it’s necessary for people to beat around the bush and say it in a sly way? If we’re going to expect gifts, then dammit be clear about it. If we’re not going to expect gifts then what on earth are all these registries for?

I, for one, kind of admire their balls-to-the-wall bluntness. If you’re going to expect gifts (which most of us, deep down, do) then at least freaking say it.

But I say this as a person that’s having a Destination Wedding with an explicit expectation of no gifts (monetary or otherwise).


Post # 55
1094 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World


Post # 57
6533 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Ummm. Wow!

Post # 58
2623 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Wow just wow, it reeks of desperation and is so rude. If I even went which would be highly unlikely I  show with a card. She setting a horrible tone for her wedding.

Post # 59
539 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@babecake:   oh wow. nothing like that

Post # 60
2059 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

ooh, that’s pretty bad!

my sister in law put on her invitation “no gifts please, card box available.” tacky!

Post # 61
2503 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@jenilynevette:  I guess it’s because they get to “save face”, if you get what I mean. Like they still get to look really good for a spell and not everyone returns gifts that they receive. We only returned one of our off-registry gifts and it was definitely not our style. The other off-registry gifts we kept.

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