(Closed) The sad day we’ve been waiting for….

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m so sorry for your loss. My grandmother passed away last summer and the best thing Darling Husband did for me was to just hold me and let me cry. He helped me rehearse the reading I did for the funeral so that I could read it without totally breaking down. Let him grieve in his own way (and yours). Remember the good times when you’re ready to talk and reminisce. Just be there for each other and cry when you need to.

((hugs))

Post # 4
Member
1306 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Im sorry for your loss.  My FI’s grandfather is on dialysis, his liver is failing and his heart can barely pump enough blood to reach all his organs.  We dont think he’s going to make it past next year at the latest.  It’s really sad cause his grand mother died last year too.  ((HUGS)) to you.

Post # 5
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I am so sorry for your loss.  When my grandmother passed away last fall, the most helpful thing Peanut did was, as Bakerella said, to hold me and let me cry.  He was sad, too, and he cried at the funeral and wake, but knowing he was there, holding me, helped a lot.  He took time off and helped me pick out flowers to bring to her graveside, and we spent a lot of time with family.  It’s important for you and your Fiance to take care of both yourselves and each other, being as supportive as you can without denying your feelings.

I can understand his not being ready to talk–I needed distracting for the first weeks.  Time with family helps, time watching movies helps. Sometimes it’s good to have a project to work on just so you can have some mental space.

Post # 7
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m sorry for your family’s loss. Grandparents are such treasured people. You sound like you’re very open to letting your husband grieve in his own way, and I’m sure he will greatly appreciate that. My grandmother just passed a bit over a week ago after longterm health issues, and Fiance was there to tell funny stories with me and my family when I needed it or to take a walk alone with me so I could just cry when it was all too much. Being there in the way he needs you to be there at that particular time is the best thing you can do. Hugs to both of you.

Post # 8
Member
14496 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Sorry for your SO’s and your loss.  Sending you good thoughts and ~hugs~.

Post # 9
Member
392 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m so sorry.  At least he’s no longer in pain.

Post # 10
Member
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

So sorry for your loss…

Post # 11
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@FutureMrsBLT: I am so sorry for your family’s loss.  My FI’s grandfather passed away in June.  Then, 3 weeks ago, FI’s father passed away very unexpectedly.  🙁  The best thing you can do is be there as a shoulder to cry on and to be a rock for him.  Also, if he’s not handling it well, whisk him away for a lunch or something just to get him away for a few minutes.  I found that was helpful with refreshing my FI’s outlook and attitude.  

 

Good luck.

Post # 12
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My greatgrandfather passed away from bone cancer when I was 16, 5 years ago. I met Fiance 6 months later (highschool sweethearts <3) and he always says he wished he could have met him. He was amazing and raised me like his own daughter, even with 2 generations between us. I am honoring him at our wedding. I hope you and yours get through this with strength and love.

Post # 13
Member
295 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I lost my sister to cancer june 2009.  My Fiance is not a very emotional person usually but I am.  My sister was 21 yrs older than me and she was my world, my best friend and the only person I shared secrets with.  That being said, Fiance gave me space to cry when I wanted to and held me when I needed that too.  He was alwas by my side but kinda stood back and let me seek him for physical comforting except when I totally broke down, and at those times he just held me…it was the best thing, I spoke when I wanted to and didn’t feel pressured to if I didnt want to.  Sorry for your loss, it’s really hard especially to loose someone quickly and to something so painful.

Post # 14
Member
648 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Don’t force him to talk about it. Let him do it on his own time, but be there when he’s ready. It took my Fiance almost a year to break down after his dad passed away. It was shortly after my grandfather passed away unexpectedly.  I sat with him all night while he talked and cried. I listened, reassured him, and held his hand or hugged him. I’m not one to cry so for me it was just dealing quietly on my own while helping others and making sure everyone else is taken care of.

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