(Closed) The Save the Date Dilemma

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
45656 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

ljmarschall:  Are you having a destination wedding, a wedding on a holiday weekend, or expecting a lot of people to have to travel?

Post # 4
722 posts
Busy bee

If you’re taking about Memorial Day weekend, then I would say that’s it’s more than fair and sufficient notice to send your STDs by Thanksgiving regardless of when your relative’s wedding is taking place.  In my opinion, your STD doesn’t steal her thunder.  Now, if you’re envisioning sending your STDs much earlier than 6 months in advance, then, yes, perhaps you could wait until after your relatives wedding.  That could be seen by some as you trying to steal attention.

Personally, I will be sending my STD right around the time of a good friend’s wedding and 3 weeks before a family wedding, but as it will be 6 months before my wedding, I think that’s perfectly fine.

Post # 5
3736 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

ljmarschall:  Unless your invite hinges upon getting a thank you from this person, send the STDs whenever it’s right. You don’t need to wait for anything to send them off! She had her one day and then life moved on. Send them!

Post # 6
552 posts
Busy bee

ljmarschall:  If you’ve been engaged forever, they will have been expecting your save the dates for a while. No worries.

Post # 7
77 posts
Worker bee

I would say send them whenever works for you. We sent ours out about 8 months in advance because we (well I) have family travelling from all over the country/world. We actually did hold off sending them by 2 weeks because my grandmother died and it felt kind of tacky to send them so close to the funeral. BUT since you’re contending with a wedding, and not a funeral, I would say send them whenever you’re comfortable with it. Everyone loves having TWO happy occasions to celebrate! 🙂

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