(Closed) The sex gets better as the relationship deteriorates

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
5009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

Nope. Never experienced that. Sorry. Perhaps it was partially because you stopped caring about getting him off and focused on yourself?

Post # 4
427 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Aquababes:  That’s a bit sad for both of you, but also good something was going right towards the end 🙁

Post # 7
342 posts
Helper bee

When my ex-husband and I were at the end of our marriage, sex was the only thing we still did well together. So, we did it often. I think we were both trying to hang on to what was left. In the end, it wasn’t enough. But, I think it bought us another 6mos together or so. Even after he moved out, he still had sex. Obviously less often. Our last session was after our mediation appointment.

Post # 8
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I have found this to be true as well. When things were just about done with my ex and I, the sex was better than it had been (but still not great). But, at that point, it was the only thing we were doing that made each other semi-happy.

Post # 9
3775 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

No, my husband and I have been together for eleven and a half years and sex is still amaing and the relationship is still fabulous.

Post # 10
15 posts
  • Wedding: December 2012

Op- I also found this to be true in my last marriage. Maybe it’s less pressure to please

Post # 11
1063 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

My best friend said this about her last relationship. As it was really falling apart the sex got better. Haha! Who would have thought right? But if I were to analyze it, and everyone’s different, I think things you care about change as a relationship fizzles out, which may have effects on how you feel about the sex. For my friend I think it was one part her partner trying extra hard to save it (haha seriously).

Post # 12
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

When my previous marriage deteriorated, the sex was empty, gross and unenjoyable.  I didn’t have any desire to have sex with the jerk, but I just did to keep the peace.  So I experience the opposite.

Post # 13
9954 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

It is different for every person, and every relationship.

BUT what you talk about is not uncommon.

Have heard about it over the years (I’m an Encore Bride over 50) from a lot of friends…

Sometimes have better sex when there is more tension / stress in a relationship (be that an impending break up… or even something as “odd” as a loved one dying etc).  Wierd for sure but it happens some guys in particular use sex totally as a “release valve”

If the relationship is totally doomed…

This action is sometimes known as the “Goodbye F*ck” the “One for the Road F*ck”… or the “For the old times F*ck”

Certainly, some folks even post break-up tend to find themselves still attracted to one another (for the wrong reasons)… aka the “For the old times F*ck”

Which is why you so often hear about Married Exes who can end up in bed together even tho their lives have moved on… or years have passed.

Personally, I’ve never had these feelings… I’m the type of gal, WHEN IT IS OVER… IT REALLY IS OVER AND DONE WITH !!


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