(Closed) the sex gets better?

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Let him know to step up to the plate.  Be frank about your likes and dislikes, even in the middle of it all.  A man enjoys a challenge, and sexual intimacy grows as you get to know each others quirks.  I’m in the same boat as you, and no one else can please me now like my fi can.

Post # 4
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I think when you want two different things out a sexual relationship, the key is to communicate. Suggest or initiate something rougher or hint to him that that would be “ok.” I don’t think you can really go wrong unless you know he is opposed to the idea?

And yes, I find that as you learn eachother the sex gets better unless it is just “wow amazing” from the beginning, but that wasn’t necessarily the case for us. We were both eachother’s firsts (though this was loooong before the wedding, lol.)

Post # 5
Member
1160 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Guys can’t read minds. You have to talk to him about what you want! And YES…it gets better and better!

Post # 7
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

@LaTortuga: 

Ways to teach him…hmm. What about opening a discussion about what type of sex you guys fantasize about? Not sure how open you guys are, but something Darling Husband and I did that was interesting *TMI ALERT* was we discussed our favorite porn/erotica/whatnot. I know not everyone is into that or even approves of it, but you could use it as an opening to speak about wanting rougher/more domination type stuff,etc. Just a suggestion!

Post # 9
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

@LaTortuga:Since you seem okay with the idea, I’ll share further. A fun thing we did was picked our “best” and then showed them to eachother. I picked the favorite thing I’d looked at recently and he did the same. It was interesting, to say the least. And if you guys are worried about his reaction, maybe start out with some milder stuff to get him used to the idea? I think you have to start out a bit more “vanilla” (ha! Or as vanilla as BDSM stuff gets) to get to a point where you’re both comfortable. Suggesting a “safe word” might make him feel better as well.

Post # 10
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

i had and to some extent am still having the same problem with my current bf, like the op i love rough hard pounding sex and really well endowed men and my currnet guy has neither of those traits but it is getting better, the porn idea helped us some, i usually pick out ones with a girl with two hung guys being dominated and he kind of got the hint and became more agressive, it will get better eventually.

Post # 11
Member
1796 posts
Buzzing bee

At first, sex always hurt for me when I first started. My SO had to stop in the middle a couple of times. An I had only done the same positions over and over, and had only been spanked, not knowing I liked anything else. We looked through a Cosmo(but not the rediculous shit) and went to a Lovecraft and got a sex deck(playing cards) and some fuzzy handcuffs and went expirimenting. Now its amazing, we dont do the kinky stuff all the time, but you cant do missionary alll the time, it gets boring. And after trying new things every so often, I found out I liked some new stuff that gets me an instant O!  Its the best sex Ive ever had and I see us staying together fo rthe rest of our lives, so that works for me 🙂

Post # 12
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I had to show my Darling Husband where the clitoris was he had no idea. 

Post # 13
Member
2903 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Yes it does get better when you communicate what you want Laughing and how you want it! My hubby likes feedback “Like this??” or the kinna dirty “You like that??” lol

Post # 14
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@LaTortuga:  Its all about the ‘sexy voice’, and those silly dice games.  How can you resist a ‘you lick my’ ‘ear lobe’ in a sexy voice? I’m actually JEALOUS because you guys get to do all the fun discover stuff that NONE of us brides that have been living together get to do.  I hate you. I don’t even think you need porn, I think you need really good emotive or spacey music, one glass of wine and a plethora of toys. Are you kidding?  Seriously jealous.  I could do this with my fiance but he’s so stuck in his ‘i have been boning for 20 years [ew, gag] that I have my old reliable’…you get to have so much fun with a newbie.  Take control just make sure to have a sexy kitten voice and he’ll be totally putty in your hands.

Post # 15
Member
1796 posts
Buzzing bee

@WillyNilly:  Mine isnt a newbie. 2 years and we live together, just experiment once in awhile just to see if we like something new. I was at his hockey game once, and me and the other girls were talking, and the one likes being choked. Thoguth Id give it a try cause I like the rough stuff once in a while. Well, I like being pinned down during missionary, so one time he tried it-gently- by pressing down on my clavicle right as I was on the brink of orgasm. AMAZING.

Post # 16
Member
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Just let him know what you want and really like. I have not done that with anyone other than dh and it makes it more intimmate and exciting for me being able to communicate my needs.

 

 

 

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