- 4 years ago
If you are the Maid of honour it can be overwhelming however there are something you should remember when planning the shower and the bachelorette.
1. Include the other bridesmaids. Make sure you ask them how much they want to spend. Although spa weekends and out of town trips are fun, these are costly.
2. Keep in mind the brides interests. If the bride likes dancing, dance. If she likes staying in, stay in. However, just because it is the brides day does not mean you should not think about others and what they would want to spend their money on. Dont disregard the brides ideas but dont expect too much of others.
3. Be open to suggestions. It is not an insult if others are giving suggestions. Annoying? Absolutly but comes with the territory. Dont worry you will get over it.
4. Do not have it the night before the wedding, unless it is a non-drinking event. Things go wrong.
5. Make sure you ask the bride who she would like to invite.
**If the bride says you must come to the bachelorette or is asking you to spend 100s of dollars and guilt tripping you…you may be dealing with a bridezilla.**
1 and 2. Although it is suggested to only have one shower and that your family (ie sister, mother etc) cannot host the shower, times are changing. Anyone can host the shower and multiple showers are okay. Some prefer to do it by side (although I am not a fan of this as you are joining the 2 families) but sometimes because of numbers or expenses multiple showers are needed. Bridesmaids should be invited to all showers but not expected to go to all. If you are planning a shower you shouldnt be expected to attend another, although the option should be there for you. Usually the bridesmaids go to the one they or the Maid/Matron of Honor planned. They may just make an appearance at the others or not go at all ie work showers…
3. Cost, if bridesmaids are planning together then they can split but the Maid/Matron of Honor takes most if not all the cost. If the Maid/Matron of Honor is planning it alone (on an island) with no input from the other bridesmaids that may isolate them. Ask the bridesmaids how they would like to help, if they are able (and which shower they are going to). Maybe they can bring food or some type of decor. Dont be afraid to incorporate their ideas if they are helping or paying. Usually bridesmaids are worried about money so if youd like to include them ask them to bring one dish or certain decor items. Ask them if they have any other ideas that they think they could add. Sometimes bridesmaids help with cost, sometimes they dont. But still involve them with jobs and ideas.
4. Gifts. Yes bridesmaids bring gifts. Just something little.
5. Gifts and other. Although gifts are expected if the bridesmaids are doing something that cost lots of money like the cake or centerpieces, brides should not expect a gift. Usually that is ore money then a normal gift. If you still want to give a gift and are making the cake, think about gifting a cake lifter. If you are making centerpieces, think about gifting a vase or something little decor like to go along with the theme.
6. Gifts and multiple showers. Although Bridesmaids should not be expected to go to all showers, if they do go, they only need to bring one gift, pick which shower.
**If the bride expects you to attend all showers or give gifts at all showers…you may be dealing with a bridezilla.**
In general when planning showers and bachelorettes, make sure it is fun, include games and prizes for both.
Make sure you keep the brides interests in mind but within the bridesmaids budget.
Invite only those going to the wedding. Dont be offended by people who cannot come. Even best friends have other important things or feel overwhelmed by the amount of events. So if they bow out of certain things its okay. Include them in what they feel they can come to.
The wedding is the most important, not the other parties.
Be kind. Sometimes Maid/Matron of Honor and bridesmaids butt heads. Choose your words carefully. When the Maid/Matron of Honor is the sister of the bride she should be especially careful not to complain about the brides friends or expect them to act like sisters to the bride. The bridesmaids, dont bitch about the brides sister. She will choose her sister even if she is clearly wrong or mean. Brides be kind, remember why you ask these people to be in your wedding, dont expect too much or too expensive, dont be easily offended, if they are at the wedding, standing up for you and excited to see you get married, occassionally helping, they are doing their job, anything else is extra and should be seen as a gift from those friends.