(Closed) The Shut-It-Up Pact 12/17-12/31

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 32
Member
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Hi! Im new here and I would like to join the pact. 

My SO told me on Sunday about one of his friends getting engaged and Im not going to lie, it upset me…….a lot and thats all I could talk about that day, I knew I was getting on my SO’s nerves about it so I thought now would be a good time to join the pact. 

So as of right now, Im on day 3. 

Post # 34
Member
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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@veryberry13  Thanks! I have realized its a lot harder than it seems. Better said than done especially when I know he has the ring! My goal is to make it to Christmas!

Post # 35
Member
1350 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

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@veryberry13  Aww, thank you so much!

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@veryberry13  Thank you!  I’d like to think I deserve an engagement too (Wink) but I guess it doesn’t always work that way.  I’ve got my fingers crossed still though.

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@veryberry13  Ooh, I am going to have to search out that song!!  I think that’s great that you are going to therapy to come up with some new ideas and tactics during the waiting process.  Have you found that it has helped at all?  I’ve considered going for quite a while due to a variety of reasons, but have never followed through.

 

Well, today is Day 116.  Last night was pretty good with my SO.  He seems to be on the track back to his normal, regular self.  He was goofy and fun.  I will say that…I’m pretty confident that he will not propose for Christmas.  I mean, I guess I didn’t really think he would, but a small part of me hoped that he’d surprise me.  He told me his budget for Xmas gifts and it is very low.  I know money is tight for him right now, so this is no surprise.  So…considering the number of people he has to buy for, there’s no way a ring would fit in that budget.  For perspective, even if he used the whole budget on me, it would be a pretty inexpensive ring (I don’t care about that, but I think HE does, based on past things he has said).  So I guess an Xmas proposal is out.  This is okay.  I didn’t expect it.  It makes me a little sad though.  But I want him to propose on NYE honestly…I’ve gotten us dinner reservations and then we are going to see fireworks.  All I want is for him to drop on one knee at 12:01 with fireworks exploding in the sky….and I want to express that to him, but I don’t want to break the SIUP.  Plus, I don’t even know if he could afford that right now.  I suppose he could be saving up for something, but I see no proof of that, really.  So again, still shutting it up til February 28, ughhhhh.  Sometimes waiting sucks.

Post # 36
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2017 - Hagakyrkan

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@veryberry13  Ooo 🙂 thanks.

Post # 37
Member
459 posts
Helper bee

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@veryberry13  it’s soooo hard!!! I am really excited! This board is totally making me SIU!!! We’ve been together 7 1/2 years so it’s about time!!

Post # 38
Member
483 posts
Helper bee

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@ChristineMarie5711  Relocating was pretty hard without the proposal. I think it was especially hard explaining to people why I was moving. I was happy and had a great job teaching at a wonderful school, and they had a hard time understanding why I was leaving. I told them it was because my SO and I were going to be getting engaged soon and would be starting our life together. It was sort of embarrasing telling this to people. I had many people say something along the lines of, “You’re going without him putting a ring on it??” Uggghhh. Ideally, he would have proposed before I left. I told him it was a big deal for me to move. That he needed to realize I only moved to be near him, and that he needed to make it worth my while. I have wanted to go back and visit my friends there, but I dread hearing comments about why we still are not engaged. I told all of them jokingly that if he didn’t propose by Christmas, I was moving back! He knows I said this to them. Like you said, some days it is easy, and others I feel like I never should have moved for him unless we were engaged. It’s so hard to know what is the right thing to do! Just hang in there. I just turned 32 this September, so I completely understand your whole “biological clock” thing. I’m ready! I could even skip the whole wedding, etc and just get married!

It’s been so hard this past year. My SO and I met about 7 years ago on a 10 day canoe trip on the Rio Grande river where we were both chaperones. We instantly fell for each other and pretty much immediately started dating once we got back. So, that trip/place is very special for us. We take the trip with friends yearly. Last February, we went with a few friends as well as his brother and his brother’s girlfriend of 2 years. His brother ended up proposing to his girlfriend while we were on the trip…… I was completely heartbroken, but had to keep smiling throughout the trip (on this trip, we are in the complete wilderness. NO cell reception, no hiking to a nearby store, etc.) I wasn’t able to call a friend or confide in anyone. It was horrible. I had always thought it was were my SO might propose. Anyway, they got married this OCT.  Now, his sister, who I am super close to, is in town for the holidays. She is 25 years old. Her boyfriend of 1.5 years will be coming in town to celebrate Christmas with the family, and she confided in me that she knows her boyfriend will be asking her dad for permission to marry her. She thinks he is going to propose sometime in March or April.  I am so happy for her, but hearing that got me down! I will be beyond upset if she gets a proposal before me. I know that sounds selfish, but I’ve been with her brother for 7 years….and, this year has just been difficult because 8 couples that we are friends with have gotten engaged or married. I feel like I’ve been put to the test numerous times this year, and now it has to me my turn, right? I just don’t know. Like I’ve said, I don’t want to get my hopes up, but I almost cannot help myself….. sorry for such a ridiculously LONG post!

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@ChristineMarie5711  7 1/2 years IS a long time! I feel your pain, hon! Here’s to hoping that you will get a proposal very soon!!!!

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@ChristineMarie5711  I am beyond impressed with you! 116 days is no small feat! I hope you get that NYE proposal. You definitely deserve it after keeping it quiet for so long!

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@ChristineMarie5711  Welcome to the pact! I’m on day 4! Here’s to hoping I last until New Years!

Post # 41
Member
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

K I’ve been doing really well so far. Really proud of myself. I’m on Day 6. Haven’t spoken a word and I actually haven’t been on the Bee in a while. Hope you ladies are going strong!

Post # 42
Member
265 posts
Helper bee

I didn’t just talk about it with my SO!  No, I didn’t really.  I never brought it up!  However, we just had the most amazing conversation about what metal and setting I’d prefer for a ring.  I don’t believe that I ever mentioned the “m” word, though.  No, I was just answering his questions!

Post # 43
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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@veryberry13  I really like that song! The lyrics are so fitting!

day 14 for me today, not much news but I visited him at work tkday and a regular customer told him I was too cute for him, to hold on to me lol. He also asked so when’s the wedding? Lol I love cute old guys sometimes. 😛 

Post # 44
Member
420 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Rebar

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@veryberry13  hello ladies again!! I feel like it’s been a while since I been on weddingbee! I miss you gals 🙂 so much has happened. One been that we are in the middle of signing a lease for our first apartment!!There has been so many complications….SO and I have been so stressed. It’s been pretty bad the level of stress….and all this stress has made it easy to honestly not talk about wedding stuf. For now. But even though it has been stressful…..I realized this morning that there is less then two weeks before the end of the year!!! And my timeline will be up by then!!! I honestly had no idea lol. Till I saw the calender this morning!!!!! So ladies I think the next two weeks I will def be getting engaged….I have a strong feeling that I will be engaged and this will be my last pact!!!! So here is to making this one count!!!

Post # 46
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee

I’m new and think I might be two days too late to join this, but it sounds like it would be a very helpful pact for me to make over the holiday season.

I know SO is not going to propose at Christmas, but I’m struggling not to think that there might be some kind of double bluff going on.

We first went to look at rings together in May, then he had an appointment with a local jewler in October, and in November we went to have a more serious look at rings in London. Unfortunately, some extra money he was expecting from work has yet to come through and so he couldn’t order anything in November. I know how long rings take to arrive, so logically he must be telling the truth about it being the end of January at the earliest that we’ll get engaged. I get the impression he has a special date in mind later this winter.

You can perhaps tell that this is still wizzing round in my head intermittently. I think joining the pact might help both my mind and mouth to shut up – I don’t want to ruin Christmas for myself just because we don’t get engaged!

Sorry to rant. Thank you for reading bees and maybe I can be in the pact without being on the most recent list? Hopefully I’ll make it through the holidays without talking about, or getting caught looking at, rings!

xx

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