(Closed) The Shut It Up Pact 12/31-1/14

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 32
Member
152 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Well, back to Day 1 for me! I posted here on Monday morning that my SO brought up marriage which led to us having a really long discussion about our future. We also spoke about it quite a few times during the past few days – both me bringing it up and him as well. All conversations were really positive and exciting though. But anyway, now that my SO has mentioned a few times that a proposal is going to be happening “very soon” I figure I should go back keeping my mouth zipped! I don’t want him to feel rushed or stressed out by me constantly mentioning it!

Happy New Years Bees! And good job to those that are still going strong in this pact!

 

Post # 33
Member
8601 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

ugh I made it through our whole long NYE weekend together with out saying anything! I did jokingly say… there is something really important to me that MUST happen this year….

….

… please get the sink fixed.

 

Does that count? lol 

Post # 34
Member
267 posts
Helper bee

@veryberry13:  it’s great that all his family is on board! I’m having some issues with when my SO’s family expects us to get married but that’s another thread I’ll start hehe

When is he set to graduate?

Post # 35
Member
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@veryberry13:  Can I join please?

Embarrasing (yet funny) moment yesterday when SO and I were packing the car after grocery shopping, SO said ‘I propose…’, I chimed in ‘Oooh, really in Tesco car park?’. We both laughed, he continued ‘That was quick for you, but no. I propose we go home, put the wood burner on… etc.’ 

HA Sealed 

HELP

Post # 36
Member
486 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Does it count if I accidentally-on-purpose left my pinterest e-ring board open as the last tab on his computer? (Yes, I have a board just for rings. There are too many I like and I’ve mentioned to my SO in the past that when the time comes to look on my pinterest if he doesn’t know what I like!) I was using his computer to pull up a recipe I pinned to make for dinner that night and it seemed casual enough… oops. When he used his computer later he laughed and said “you left your pinterest open”. I smiled and said “no comment!” Not exactly progress towards my new year’s resolution, but SO took it well!

Post # 38
Member
1012 posts
Bumble bee

@veryberry13:  hey congrats for making it 30 days! That’s a great improvement! 

I feel like I may need to join because now I cant stop talking to my Fiance about how much I love my ring and what type of wedding we’re going to have. LOL it’s only been 2 weeks since we got engaged and I feel like I need to talk about something, anything else!

Post # 39
Member
1069 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Hello all, hope you have been doing well.  I have been a bit MIA on the pact the last few days…this is because SO and I had a massive….not fight, per se, but a discussion.  It didn’t go that well.  We are still together and we are both hopeful that things will work out, but right now I think I need to work on my relationship and not so much on waiting to get engaged.

Technically, I am still current on the SIUP.  The discussion with my SO did mention marriage and the future, but he was the one to bring those things up and address them.  But….I will say that…I think the SIUP is great…I really do.  But one part (of many) of our discussion included the fact that my SO felt like I wasn’t being honest or I was withholding feelings from him.  And I certainly was with the SIUP.  I think maybe SIU as long as I did was maybe…TOO long.  Not sure, but from here on out I’m going to just be 100% honest with my SO about how I am feeling.  Like I said above, I’m not focusing on us getting engaged right now at ALL.  I’m focusing on improving our relationship.  If we get engaged in the future, I would be ecstatic.  But right now, other stuff comes first.  We need to work on the day-to-day compatibility of our relationship and not the big ‘end goal’ or whatever you want to call it.

I just want to thank everyone that has been supportive and helpful and just hands down amazing here on the SIUP.  You are all wonderful bees and I am so hopeful that you will find happiness and marriage with your SOs.  I am still going to be around the board, but I will probably be a lot less active.  I’ll still check in with you bees on the SIUP/Waiting forum from time to time, but I may not post as much.

@veryberry13:  Thanks so much for your PM the other day – I really appreciate it more than you know *hugs*

Post # 40
Member
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2021

Hello! 

Id id like to be included in this SIUP, please…

upshot is that I had the timeline chat with my SO last night and it was probably the most honest  discussion we’ve ever had. There were quite a few revalations mainly down to the fact that SO is just so “wedding out” at the moment, I’ve been talking about it so much, our friends are putting pressure on him etc etc…he said he knows he wants to marry me, we will be engaged this year but he now wants us to give ourselves a break so we can focus on our day to day relationship and get to the proposal point organically rather than feeling pushed. He quite honestly said that if the heat had been off him that he may have done it by now…I  could definitely use the SIUP to help us relieve some of the pressure and to give him some time out…it may mean the difference between first half of this year and the second! 

Post # 41
Member
389 posts
Helper bee

Hellooooo ladies! Feeling happy and hopeful today!

I’m officially back on! This will be day one for me, as I am starting over again. After a very disappointing Christmas without any proposal, which I was pretty hopeful I would get, I sat down with my SO, and we had a heart to heart about our future. I told him that after 7 years, it truly concerned me that we were stil not married, let alone engaged, and that it hurt more and more every time I saw someone else close to us move in that direction (especially since they have all dated only a couple of years at most) because it made me second guess whether or not he truly wanted to be with me. I told him that if he really couldn’t see us getting married, then he needed to let me go. I was completely honest and open. Not giving him an ultimatum, but letting him know that I loved him, and I wanted to be with him, but ultimately, I couldn’t be with him if he had no real intention of marrying me. I think our talk was a real eye-opening experience for him. He told me that he does want to marry me, that he loves me so much, but that he has just been lazy about the marriage thing. In he words, “I just haven’t gotten my shit together, and I’m really sorry for the pain it has caused you.” He said that he had thought we would be engaged by now too. He told me that he has already saved up some money and is trying to save up a little more to get a ring that he feels I deserve. I told him the ring wasn’t important, I just want us to be together and become a family together. He told me that all he wants is to make me happy, and that he will do whatever it takes to get this marriage ball rolling. He wants to officially propose to me with a ring, and apparently wants to do it as soon as he makes a little more money and gets the ring he has his eye on. So, I am putting all my trust in him now and will hopefully no longer feel compelled to say anything about it anymore!

 

Also, on a side note, since he is clerking for a judge this year (he finished law school in may and is just starting out) he isn’t making too much money at the moment. He is already having to pay student loans from law school on top of living costs. I know that saving up for a ring isn’t easy. I told him that the ring didn’t matter, but he insists on getting one. I’ve been researching cost effective rings, and I actually found this website called idonowidont.com where people sell their used engagement rings, etc. I know that there may be some ladies out there who are completely against this, but I honestly do not have any problem wearing someone elses’ used engagement ring.  I don’t believe in bad luck, etc., and I thinking that buying a used ring can be more earth-friendly anyway. Besides, I was told that many of the diamonds at jewelry stores are used anyway. This was told to me by my friend’s dad, who is a jeweler! Anyway,  It is a pretty legit website, and if any of you bees are open to having a used ring, and are with a guy who is trying to save money, you could possibly steer him in the direction of this website!

 

Post # 42
Member
512 posts
Busy bee

I’d like to join the pact! But not counting from today. Going to have one last heart to heart with SO tonight that I’ve been putting off since September as football season has had him depressed. Now that its all over and we are safely entering playoffs, I can start my own game plan.

Finish all my work for the day and then relax in a nice bubble bath. Take SO to his favorite dinner spot that we don’t eat at a lot as its not my favorite. Watch a movie, let him unwind, crack a beer or two and then just have a calm holiday free evening chat, no pressure and follow it up with ice cream cones and comedy central. ๐Ÿ˜€

Then I will SIU!

Post # 43
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Hey everyone,

sorry I haven’t been on here much lately, we closed on our house Monday and have been busy busy with that and work. Broke the pact today, he finally caught me on the bee. He kinda rolled his eyes and I just said what ? I’m doing research! And left it at that. He doesn’t have to know I have an account haha. ๐Ÿ˜›

Post # 44
Member
551 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Day 33!!! SO and I have been snowed in since yesterday,  so there has been a lot of time for conversion.  SO wants to buy a house…by December of this year! Kinda far away, but he said “we’ll be engaged by then, so it will be the next step for sure” ahhh ๐Ÿ™‚ I just love this man. I think how eager he is makes it MUCH easier for me to shut it up. So excited for 2014!

Post # 45
Member
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Two days in – ha I’m so pathetic.

Yesterday was THE HARDEST THING. The SUI was like a huge cloud over me, watching me, making sure I didn’t say anything. I’m a bit more relaxed into it now – we have plenty to talk about other than engagement and marriage ๐Ÿ˜›

As it would happen – we’re now going to be installing central heating to our house in the next few weeks so that will 1) keep us busy and 2) set back the savings account.

 

Post # 46
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Hello bess! 

How is everyone doing? Ive been down in the weather for about two weeks now, I HATE getting sick. I have had a sinus infection and strep throat. Not good combinations but better than the flu, which is going around in the state that I live in. 

Nothing new for me though, relationship wise. I did have a BIG surprise last week which made me end up breaking the pact. My SO had been away, seeing family and he made me believe that he wasnt going to be back till the 2nd, turns out he surprised me and returned on the 30th. He threw a big fit for me to go to his house and feed his fish since he made me believe his dad wasnt doing the job. When I arrived at his house and went to his room, turned on the light, he jumped up out of the bed with a big “surprise1” and my christmas gifts (which one was him, he had a giant bow attatched to his shirt) I was completely dumbfounded but happy at the same time! After it was all said and done and the surpriseness went away, I told him what would of topped it all off would of been a proposal to go with it ๐Ÿ˜› 

He laughed and said he already has a plan. 

So day 7 for me on the SIUP! 

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