(Closed) The Shut-It-Up Pact 8/28 – 9/10

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 32
Member
21 posts
Newbee

@BrownPlaidBook:  

wow we are totally on the same wavelength!! Thankyou so much for your response, so refreshing to get an outside view to keep me in the positive away away from the negative.

 

‘when we know, we’ll let you know’ will now be my goto phrase.

 

 

Post # 33
Member
413 posts
Helper bee

I need to join the siu pact so badly especially after being told that my insisting on marriage is actually the reason we are not married yet. (^(*W^()())(!!!!  I will do my best to concentrate on other thngs other than planning my pretend wedding. πŸ™

Post # 34
Member
2529 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I’m still doing fine, ladies– since last week’s conversation about ring band width in which he said I need to trust him to be proactive about the whole thing (!!!YAY!!!!), I haven’t felt any need to talk about it. I think this is at a point where I can trust that he is working on it, we both want it to happen, and now it’s only a matter of time– until early April, from what I can tell from his hints.

 

Post # 35
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee

I’m joining! Tomorrow will be my day one… it can’t come soon enough either.I was just harassing my boyfriend before he went to sleep about e-rings. He basically told me when the time comes to get one he knows what I like, he knows what to look for in a diamond and he knows what he can afford, so to stop trying to control everything and go to sleep. Lol

Post # 36
Member
24 posts
Newbee

looks like I need to be joining the pact too! I have been on the waiting list for a little over a year and a half now but always thought it would encourage my bf by talking about getting engaged/our wedding and this summer we’ve had chats with his family about our relationship and intent so I thought we were really getting somewhere! Last night it caused a big arguement and he basically told me he was no where near ready and I needed to leave him be about getting engaged for a while if I wanted him to ever be ready… πŸ™ but if shutting up about it is what he needs then that’s the best thing I can do, right bees?? 

Post # 37
Member
968 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I fail this so bad. I did better this weekend, but it came up a few times. Hopefully I can learn to not talk about it.

Post # 38
Member
1069 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I’m doing good so far this pact. I’m now at 10 days of SIU.  It’s been a lot easier since we started moving in and have that to focus on.  I still think about marriage from time to time, but I know not to bring it up because I know an engagement isn’t going to happen until he is 100% sure.  So…..instead of being upset, I’ve been having some revelations recently and have been really trying to focus on our relationship day to day, rather than the ‘endgame’ of getting married.  Yes, I still want that, of course, but if I focus too much on the finish line, I’ll never enjoy the race.  So…trying to focus on him and I and our relationship and also how that will benefit the future.  I’m sure in a few days (and when ‘lady time’ hits) I’ll be back to wanting and thinking about it all the time.  But for now…trying to be calm and enjoy things as they come.

Post # 39
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@MexiPino:  Thanks and good luck with your interview!

 

My first SIUP is a total fail…I managed to SIU for a whopping 3 days.  However, I did find out some promising info.  On Friday night, SO and I were enjoying a few too many martinis at one of our favorite local bars that is, sadly, closing.  I started to say something about rings and then caught myself and said, “I can’t say anything.”  SO questioned why and seemed to think that I somehow snooped in his email.  I wound up explaining the SIUP to him since I figured that was better than him thinking I hacked his email (he was amused and thought it was cute).  After I explained it to him, he told me that he bought the ring!!!  I have been asking him for months, and his reply has always been “I don’t know” with a silly palms-up shrug.  So, now I know for sure he has or at least purchased the ring.  It is making waiting a teeny bit easier, and I have managed to keep my lips zipped since Friday.

Post # 40
Member
490 posts
Helper bee

I’ve managed to SIU since the end of July. The fact that my SO’s bro is getting married this Saturday and is having a 200+guest all out extravagant wedding, his dad joked and said “when you two get married can you please do it at the town hall because we’ll be broke after this!” SO and I just laughed and I said nothing more.

I don’t know when to expect it….. Our 7 year anniversary is in January and I don’t know if it will be next year or not, although SO says we will get engaged after we move in together (we are moving in together in the next 2-3 weeks!) although I don’t know how long after we move in together…. the anticipation is making me mad!

Post # 41
Member
2529 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@BeeKeeMarie:  EEP! Well that was a lucky conversation! πŸ™‚ I think once you know he is shopping for a ring or has bought it, the waiting becomes easier. I saw a jeweler email (from a jeweler who makes a ring I really like & told my SO about 6 months ago) on my SO’s ocmputer by mistake a couple weeks ago. And we’ve had a conversation or two that tell me that he has been thinking about it a LOT and he said to me the other night that I can rely on him to have initiative when it comes to the ring. EEK! I made sure he knows what I like and now I can finally shut it up properly! 

At this stage, I feel like me not talking about it is the best thing to do. I think it is likely that he’ll talk to my parents over the holidays (hello, increased holiday stress :/ ) and will probably wait until after I’m all done with grad school classes (December! YAY!) to do it. 

I am still doing well in the SIUP. πŸ™‚ It might get a little harder as fall goes on since my SO’s cousin is getting married and he’s invited to the bachelor party (going to a hockey game and a bar, nothing skanky), and it’s all happening in October. I can’t wait for that darn invitation to get here so I can figure out what I’ll wear to their wedding!

Post # 42
Member
34 posts
Newbee

@Stranger516:  July?  That’s amazing.  Good luck with your upcoming move, living together is so exciting!

Reflecting on my own SIUP, I think I am doing well – though my SO has mentioned a ring literally everyday of the past week.  Asking my opinion on using family rings vs. buying a new ring, talking about diamond quality and my expectations.  I answer his questions directly and clarify as needed.  I’m getting a little supsicous as to what he is thinking and I want to ask more questions, but I’m shutting it up. 

Another week, ladies!  

Post # 45
Member
1092 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

@MexiPino:  lol cheers, it’s certainly a lot easier not to talk about it (or anything) when your boyfriend is spending every waking minute in your presence staring at a computer screen ^^; maybe I should opt out of the pact -feels a bit like cheating lol (i won’t though :3)

lol at your BF XD hopefully it was only a brain fart XD men are so dumb, and the smarter they are, the dumber they yet XD (in my experience at least). We’ll done in the interview, really really hoping it’s fruitful for you x

Post # 46
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee

I am a little late but I want to join! Our 5 year anniversary is coming up on Oct 2nd and we is planning a secret getaway weekend. I have no details where or why, but when so I can plan with work accordingly. I am hoping this is it and he is FINALLY going to propose. But any time i bring up engagement and the getaway he says that I shouldnt get my hopes up! I need to SHUT UPPP!

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