(Closed) The Shut It Up Pact (SIUP) August 1-14

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: How would you describe the "stage" of waiting you are in?

    I love weddings!

    I want babies!

    My SO rocks, I just wanna be with my SO forever!

    The ring has been purchased! WHERE IS MY BLING!!

    I do NOT want to deal with wedding drama. Being SOs is awesome.

  • Post # 31
    Member
    29 posts
    Newbee

    Ooh can I join this please? 

    My boyfriend just HAD to tell me that he’s started making payments on my dream ring. It’s super exciting because I didn’t expect to get that ring (I figured it was way out of our price range). But now it sucks to know about it because I’m going crazy over here! Darn him and his excitment to tell me haha. He estimated that it should take 6 months max to pay off. 

    In the meantime I hope to: 1) not get caught looking at pictures of my gorgeous ring online, 2) stop asking when we are going to go try the ring on to tell the store which size to order, and 3) stop asking his opinion on hypothetical wedding details. 

    Whew! Help me not turn into a crazy woman while I wait! 

    Post # 32
    Member
    465 posts
    Helper bee

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    clemmy:  

    Crazy! That’s awesome 🙂 I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you (and welcome to the pact!)

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    CEM16:  

    They don’t make it easy do they? Mine was so excited when he bought the ring he just HAD to show it to me. Although I am sort of expecting him to ask last week of August. So only a few more weeks until I get to wear it!

    I’m being really good so far this pact! Although that’s probably because I’ve been on nights and haven’t seen my SO. He’ll be visiting me on Thursday so I hope I can behave myself…Or he could just, you know, propose or something 😛

    Post # 33
    Member
    465 posts
    Helper bee

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    BrownPlaidBook:  

    3 days! Stay strong! We can do this 🙂

    I also considered moissanite  (because SPARKLY!- and also…*ahem* price range) but my SO was against the idea. He just wanted to get me something that wasn’t made in a lab. So natural sapphire it is.

     

    Post # 34
    Member
    28 posts
    Newbee

     

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    BrownPlaidBook:  I’m just so relieved to find that I’m not the only one waiting. We have purchased the e-ring, and now I am just waiting. I love reading the boards on the Bee as it makes me feel like I don’t have to talk to anyone else about it (my futre fiance doesn’t want anyone to know we already have a ring).

    Post # 35
    Member
    1630 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

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    CEM16:  i would say that to him! Its so hard not to be consantly asking my SO when he’s gonna put that ring on my finger!

    Post # 36
    Member
    139 posts
    Blushing bee

    Hi all! Good to see we are staying strong! I’m doing well, I did send a link to the perfect ring on Etsy, and left it at that. Then I walked into SO’s office for some reason and he would not let me in! I asked him what he was doing and he replied with nothing to worry about, just something I don’t want you to see. I know he isn’t looking at Christmas presents yet (way too early) and my birthday isn’t until next year…starting to feel hope that it might just happen this year after all! Although the ring I showed him hasn’t been purchased yet

     

    Post # 37
    Member
    262 posts
    Helper bee

    Oh my gosh. So out of nowhere last night SO said “That ribg magazine that was in my car, I spilled brake cleaner all over it and I know you had a ring picked out in there you wanted for your birthday…what was it again.Aquamarine and some other one” I said ” Morganite or Moissanite,  in an oval, cushion, or emerald.  But I won’t be picky, I’ll like whatever. ” He said ” If I can’t find a totally awesome birthday gift for you thats what you’re getting.  it won’t be a crazy expensive ring… because we aren’t getting engaged.” 

    I am over the moon happy. I’ll be able to wear it on my ring finger.I aalready have a plain band that I wear, but I’m allergic so I’ve wanted something to replace it. I feel like we are getting closer, though I won’t expect something until next year if he us putting the money down on a birthday gift now. The saving of money isn’t the issue of us getting engaged. Its the matter of a house coming first. Which I wamt to come first anyway. AHH. 

    How was everyone’s day? My days at work have been becoming easier amd easier to deal with. Our busy season is coming to a close. Hallelujah. 

    Post # 38
    Member
    72 posts
    Worker bee

     

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    bleubirdxo:  I sent my SO a link to my dream ring too!

    That, to me, was breaking the pact but I feel so much better having done it. We went to check out moissanite over the weekend and he started bringing up a ring design I wanted when we first got together (9 years ago!) and I was like, “well I think I like this now!”

    Anyways, now I’m back in the pact for sure. Here’s to a brand new start!

    Post # 39
    Member
    197 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    AHHHH! The universe is making this so difficult! I broke it last night but let me give you my reason…

    The BF and I were walking our dogs last night and ran into a neighbor we had never met before and started chatting. She asked if we were married. No. Then she asked if we are engaged. No. Then she was asking the BF why not… weird, right? She asked the BF when he was going to propose and he said it’s a surprise and he doesn’t want to ruin it by telling her in front of me. 

    So, we finally got home after crazy neighbor lady stopped talking and we talked a little bit about it. Mostly how weird it was that a complete stranger was asking so intently as to whether or not we are getting married. She even invited herself to our wedding when it happens. Weird. But he wrote a note on our fridge last night for me to see this morning where he again, referred to me as FutureMrs.HisLastName. Gah! I’m going to explode!

    Back in the pact as of today!

    Post # 40
    Member
    1630 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    Sometimes I think I should not be part of this pact, because quite frankly I am terrible at keeping it!! But here I am trying to keep quiet, because the ring has only been in the house a little over a week and I am going insane!!!

    Post # 41
    Member
    15 posts
    Newbee

    Brand new bee here. I stopped lurking because this was too good to pass up! You all know exactly how this waiting game feels. My SO and I picked out the ring together, I know it has been purchased, and now it is in production. I know he asked the designer to have it completed and delivered my August 15, so I’m a ball of nerves until it is on my finger. He also told me that as soon as he had it in hand, he would be “asking my father” followed by asking me in short order. Now it’s all about the wait. 

    I have been forbidden from mentioning weddings or engagement pictures, but I felt entirely gratified when I found out he told all of our couple friends about the big purchase. Glad to be a part of the Pact! I know my SO will love the results. 

    Post # 42
    Member
    171 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    Ok waiting bees, three weeks ago I was one of you.  I am going to tell you what I wish someone had told me a month ago, before the engagement. Please don’t hate me. I mean this with love and really wish I had heard this months ago. 

    The questions about when he is going to propose will become “when is the date, where is it going to be” the second you call your best friend, parents or sister to tell them he popped the question ten minutes ago.  Good luck telling people you just want to enjoy being engaged and let it marinate.  I am already getting questions about seating arrangements at my not yet planned reception and having to tell dear friends that they didn’t make the cut to be a bridesmaid when they assume they are and want to go dress shopping. It’s been 16 days in the engaged state and I already want to run away to get married and not tell anyone. This pressure is so much more than the pressure I felt pre-engagement and that I put on myself, my SO and our relationship.  Looking back on the last few months, I wish I had just taken a xanax or something and enjoyed what I had. It was the quiet before the sh*t storm, honestly.

    Yes, it bothered me when someone would ask when he is going to propose, and answering that question what seemed like a hundred times.  But now I am dealing with people texting, emailing, facebooking and calling me to tell me when it is convenient for them for us to have our wedding.  It’s a logistics nightmare. This cousin doesn’t want to sit with that cousin at the reception.  DJ recommendations.  When are you having your engagement photos taken? Ugh. I can’t just sit and look at Brides magazine anymore or watch Say Yes to the Dress and actually enjoy it.  Right now it’s a race to please everyone and try to pin down a venue. I’m driving my SO crazy alreday! So let me say this, with love….enjoy this time.  Your time is coming. Put the time and effort into your relationship and spend time just enjoying your partner.  Go walk the dog.  Read on the couch while he plays a video game.  Enjoy a dinner and movie date.  If someone would have said this to me a month ago I would have rolled my eyes and said “okaaaaay, easy for you to say you have your ring!”  I get it. Believe me, I get it. It’s a whole new ballgame when the ring is on the finger and as someone who mastered dodging the “when is he going to propose” ballgame, I was not at all prepared for the new “when is the date, here is my schedule next year, you have to have your shower here, you HAVE to use this DJ, I can’t stand her so you better not sit me next to her at the reception and I’m so excited to be your bridesmaid, I’ll email you dresses I like” ballgame. It’s a lot to take in. 

    Please, just go enjoy being in love and don’t stress yourself out over when he’s going to pop the question. I wish I had relaxed more and got out of my own head.  I’m with you bees. Sending positive vibes and happy thoughts to all of you!!!!!  xoxoxo

    Post # 43
    Member
    1630 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

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    dmh426:  you have a very good point. I keep trying to do this, to enjoy that I won’t be a ‘girlfriend’ much longer, but I can’t get the ring out of my head, and as much as I want to get it out of my mind and just enjoy this time, i’m a ball of nerves. So any advice on how to enjoy this time And stop thinking about wanting to move to the next step so badly?

    Post # 44
    Member
    171 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

     

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    Squirrelz15:  I have no advice as to how to enjoy this time!!! I certainly didn’t I was in a bad mood everytime I thought he would propose and didn’t.  We’d have a date night, go out to a beautiful dinner, walk in the park at dusk and when I realized he wasn’t going to propose, my mood drastically changed.  It’s a miracle he still wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.  Quite frankly, I was a brat. I was Jennifer Aniston in “He’s Just Not That Into You”.  The scene where she tells Ben Affleck that he needs to stop doing nice things for her unless he is going to marry her.  That was me. Then she almost lost her dad and had the epiphany that he was already ten times the husband to her without the ring than her sister’s spouses, and well, my epiphany came after I got the ring and the large family drama started. He was rubbing my shoulders and had his chin resting on the top of my head (over a foot taller than me LOL) while the phone calls were coming in non-stop and telling me to breathe. That’s the man I love. I hate to admit this, but I think I forgot that part being so engagement obsessed.  I had a flat tire this week on the highway and told him on the phone I was going to change it and be home…he drove out because it was raining and didn’t want me doing it alone. OHMYGOD. I had really forgotten how wonderful he is when I was cursing him to hell and back the past few months for not proposing. I hate myself a little for doing that. I don’t want any of you waiting bees to feel that way.

     

    Post # 45
    Member
    1630 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

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    dmh426:  Thanks for the advice! I don’t think I’ve been to whiny… But I am constantly thinking about it. It crowds my brain. Like i’m really hoping he will do it saturday when we go to fireworks, but deep down i know he won’t because we are going to his dad’s engagement party that day. So i’m trying to keep things in perspective and just enjoy. 

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