Post # 1
Welcome to the Shut It Up Pact!
The SIUP is the place where you can get support as a waiting bee, while attempting to keep quiet on all things wedding in front of your SO (and other significant people). This is a “game” and the goal is to keep quite for the duration of the pact.
Remember, we are all here for each other. The pact is here if-and-only-if you feel you need it. There will be times when it is perfectly acceptable to NOT shut-it-up and it is up to each individual bee to decide to participate. This isn’t about denying your feelings or keeping mum on a subject that is important to you. It is about ACCOUNTABILITY!
- Do not start a wedding related conversation with your SO.
- Do not watch more than one wedding show a week.
- Don’t get caught watching a wedding show, surfing wedding porn on Pinterest, or on the Bee Boards.
- If your SO (or Mom, sister, best friend) mentions wedding items, you have the right to respond, but be cool.
- Please remember to check in towards the end of the pact and update us on how many days you’ve kept quite!
p.s. Wanna give back to the pact? I am looking for someone to take over in 2015! PM me if you are interested!
Post # 2
BrownPlaidBook: This year both sides of my family are dealing with health scares and we all agreed that family time is more important than gifts. Usually I have to buy for 18+ people on my fathers side and 4 on my mother’s, not to mention my SO’s parents, best friend and her parents plus my god son.
I’m looking forward to spending my money only on a few people and spending quality time with my rents. My SO and I usually give eachother an idea on what we want and I usually buy his requested item, plus boxers/socks/white tee’s because his get grungy. It’s the only time of the year he doesn’t get super mad when I give him new ones lol.
Post # 3
So, I had a (I felt) needed conversation with the SO, regarding what I wanted… some of you may remember my first post regarding finding a search of his on Google about Tiffany engagement rings. I told him it was very important to me to have an ethically sourced diamond, and a Canadian diamond if possible. (This ruled out Tiffany without me telling him that directly!). He was surprised, and I showed him some Brilliant Earth rings that I loved. He even paused the TV to listen to me explain the 4 C’s, and which ones were most important to me. He said he understood, asked about the price of the ring I showed him (“Hmm, that’s actually not bad!” was his response), then said “well it still has to be a surprise”.
So, now I’m done! I’ve gotten out what I needed to say, and now I need to stop bringing it up. The lips need to stay zipped so he doesn’t get annoyed. I need to shut it up as of TODAY. I apoligized for making it seem like I was pressuring him, and he said he felt zero pressure, he’d do it when he wanted. But he said he thought it was adorable that I’m so excited to be married, and said that’s the way it should be! He also said it was a “guy thing” to pretend to drag your heels when talking to other people (“Ohh you know, engagement rings keep popping up on the computer, I think she’s trying to tell me something boys!” kind of thing).
Question… what do bees do on the off chance SO mentions or brings up anything engagement/wedding related??
Post # 4
MstoMrsH: I HAVE to buy mine socks, or he just wears mine… pink ankle socks look particularly ridiculous on him. 😉 But I’m with you, it is the only time I can get him socks without getting a “really?” look.
Post # 5
Definitely in this round now that i know an xmas engagement is coming 🙂
I usually buy mine a few xbox games, and stuff he wants and we do eachothers stockings 🙂
Post # 6
stokesto: If he brings it up in terms of needing ring ideas and such I don’t know what I’d do besides tell him as specifically as possible and drop the conversation when he stops asking haha.
My SO started the custom ring process this saturday so I gave myself the weekend to blab about how excited I was and I’m officially starting the pact fresh this morning. Trying hard to keep my mouth shut but I am so excited 😀 Good luck!
Post # 7
travelbee: I hope your night before x-mas stocking/wine idea is accepted for romance sake 😉
Post # 8
I am signing myself up for this round! I am hoping a proposal won’t be far off but I can’t be sure! I had my last chat with him yesterday after I asked him if he wanted to get married to which he replied “yes I want to marry you, in time” I told him the “in time” part hurt my feelings and he was horrified he had upset me, said he thought that because his answer had a yes in it and “in time” could mean any amount of time from now that it would be good for me to hear… Proof that men just don’t get what upsets and agitates us!!! So there I really need to keep quiet on the subject now!!!
I have bought him tickets to an event which happens to fall on valentines day and a hotel to stay in that night! 🙂
Post # 9
Gift exchanging depends for us, sometimes we come to the agreement not to exchange gifts (this has even happened on our anniversary) but we always exchange gifts for Christmas. This year he got a pair of sneakers he wanted :-/ I am getting an exercise machine and some clothes. I will probably also buy him him boxers, socks and t-shirts like the ladies above. I ahve never bought him these things before so I don’t know what his reaction will be.
Post # 10
stokesto: Sounds like it was good for you to have that talk and get what you want then to get what he thinks you’d want.
travelbee: Xmas engagement sounds so awesome. I would love a Christmas engagement where he involves the boys but I’d also like 12/13/14 as it won’t be around again for a long time. We have a date that day but I believe that’s it. Are you excited knowing you have less than 30 days? A New Year’s bringing the new year in with your eyes closed and opening them to a proposal would be awesome too lol.
WhiteRose07: I agree they have NO idea. LOL! My SO tells me it’s coming and even my grandma is like what the hell is that supposed to mean but that’s all he is willing to tell me so I must shut up *insert eye roll*
Post # 11
I’m back in for this round!
I didn’t do 100% awesome in the last pact (I slipped during a rant last night, announcing that “there’s no way [a certain someone making me crazy] is coming to our wedding”- ha. Oh well. He sweetly agreed and then we dropped it).
We’ll see how I do this time… my LD boyfriend is moving in with me in 2 weeks’ time, so that should be interesting!
We’ve decided against gifts this Christmas because we’re going on a little trip in January and we are sort of broke anyway. He said a gesture will be enough. I think I’ll make him a Christmas stocking…
We can do this, gals!
Post # 12
Oh my gosh I absolutely need to join this. I’m going crazy waiting and i can’t keep my mouth shut.
Post # 13
Going to try to make it the whole time without bringing up engagement stuff but it’s so hard especially with all these other engagements popping up! I got him a down blankets, towels and a pillow (he said that’s what he really wanted!)
Post # 14
I’m not good at sticking to limits- with my SO, my kids, & other fam members. I tend to be impulsive and overspend and I love spoiling the people I care about. I don’t go too too overboard but my SO and I always set limits and I always find “one more thing” I want to get him. He tends to spend more than the liimit too which is sweet with him because it’s out of character for him, he’s usually so responsible and practical.
I don’t think a ring will come as soon as the holidays. I’d love to be surprised, but I don’t want to get my hopes up and have it spoil my mood if there is no proposal (I’m thinking spring might be more realistic for us)
I really truly need the pact- now that we’ve had a ‘timeline’ talk (wish I didn’t need to do that), I don’t want to keep bringing it up. And I don’t want to allow myself petty jealousies and insecurities that will affect our relationship and the holidays.
Post # 15
Mslannister: I completely agree. All of these bees getting engaged and then people I went to school with are getting engaged and married it is making keeping it zipped life hard.