(Closed) The Shut It Up Pact (SIUP) โ€“ July 1st-15th

posted 4 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
50 posts
Worker bee

I’m definitely up for this. My boyfriend has told me it’ll be before the end of September. I think at this point anything more I say is just pushing him unfairly. I have days where September seems really soon, and other days where I worry he hasnt even looked at rings yet. 

As for summer traditions, I don’t think I have any! I’m very open to suggestions though! :L

Post # 3
Member
346 posts
Helper bee

lauralaura123:  I signup! Keeping quiet, day 1.

Waiting of the official proposal this month. 

Summer traditions; smore, fireplace outside, fireworks, racing ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 4
Member
3306 posts
Sugar bee

Signing up…. 

I will come back and write more when I mentally feel like divulging but I am confused on where I am right now. 

My SO hasn’t said the words outright that he wants to marry me but we have spoken about marriage a few times and talked about buying a house together (house conversation initiated by him). He knows I am not buying a house without being married but he refuses to discuss timelines or anything. He feels like it is his job to purpose and a woman (me?) should know nothing about it. So I am just all sorts confused. I turn 32 at the end of the month and will probably have a firm walk date some time next year before my 33rd birthday. Which is hard to say because I genuinely love him and our relationship. I don’t think I could find better. But all the secrecy and uncertainty I could do without. And (as of right now) I am not moving in with him unless there was a wedding date. I want to buy a house within the next 2-3 years so if I stay firm on that (which I probably will), that means I have no idea when we would be progressing. He is my best friend though so I have to think this out carefully.

Post # 5
Member
27 posts
Newbee

I gotta join for this month.  I know it’s before my bday, August 22.  I was really hoping it would be July (specifically July 4th), but now I’m having my doubts about this month.

I got really upset yesterday when it didn’t happen and I was just picking fights for no reason.  He then tried to make me feel better by asking if I wanted to know which month it would be so that I would stop getting my hopes up, but I knew he really wanted it to be a surprise so I said no.  That’s what leads me to believe it will be August, since him saying ‘July” would be pointless and not make me relax.

The only thing we have planned in August is a trip to the Cape, but it’s with my sister/sister’s boyfriend and mom.  I can’t really imagine he would propose when they’re all there?  Or maybe he would?  The Cape doesn’t mean so much to us.

I REALLY wanted to go to a wedding show down on Block Island next weekend, since this place does mean something to us and I’d be interested in learning about the vendors/venues down there.  It’s a once-a-year wedding show and next year would be too late in the planning stages to go.  We had the same exact thing happen last year when I wanted to go but we didn’t since we weren’t engaged.  Part of me thinks we could go this year and be honest with them, but the other part of me feels foolish.

I don’t know, I’m just down lately.

Post # 6
Member
346 posts
Helper bee

armychica06:  I feel you bee.  Marriage before housing its important for you so stick to your guns. Did you talk with your SO about individual & mutual objectives in the next, like 3 to 5 years? that could help set up a timeframe you both are comfy? ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 7
Member
33 posts
Newbee

Im in! I have a feeling it will happen before the year is over and he knows all of the deets on what I want for a ring and so on! I just need to keep my trap shut about this for a little while! Day 1

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by  nynygirly96.
Post # 9
Member
3306 posts
Sugar bee

icelady: He talked about timelines for a house, which was 3 years. I did express to him that I wanted to be engaged for a least a year if we planned on having a wedding. If not, then we go to the court house and call it a day. I have already had a wedding. I don’t need another. He, on the other hand, has never been married. I don’t know if he wants to have that experience, as he has been the best man and in numerous weddings. He refuses to speak on the engagement/marriage part. He feels like it should be a surprise for the woman. But he has told me that he does indeed want to get married and feels like he is ready for that. 

Post # 10
Member
11 posts
Newbee

I’m in, I found out my bf purchased a ring so hopefully in the next 90 days.ย 

We travel to Caribana every summer with a bunch of friends.ย 

Post # 11
Member
1595 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I’ll join! I have a feeling it will be this month, but I’m not sure when. We’ve decided on a Spring 2017 wedding so he knows he needs to get the ball rolling so we can officially start planning. He bought a ring back in January, which I have seen (before a stone was set). Last night we went to a jeweler in town to see what size I need, so he can get it sized before he proposes. He went ahead and left it with them and they said it should be ready in a week or less! Our anniversary is on Sunday, which was what I was hoping for, but I doubt that will happen because I don’t think it will be ready by then. 

I’ve been doing pretty good the last few weeks not mentioning anything about the ring, engagement, wedding details, etc. Hoping I can keep my mouth shut and actually be surprised when the time comes!

Post # 12
Member
50 posts
Worker bee

I’m having such a hard time not trying to talk to him about it today! We’re having a nice evening with a glass of wine and I’m excited and just want to chat about it..!

Post # 13
Member
346 posts
Helper bee

armychica06: Sounds really good bee, because your SO want to get marry to you and he is ready for that ๐Ÿ˜€

Your bottom line is clear to SO; marriage before housing. I had the same convo.

It come down to the surprise of proposing… keeping us on our [email protected]#$%?& 

Blessings

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by  icelady.
Post # 14
Member
346 posts
Helper bee

lauralaura123: 

Day # 3 here

Could we add a reward system to keep the pact ๐Ÿ˜€

Post # 15
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

Okay, finally taking the plunge on the pact as I have had a fight with my partner again today. 

I’m getting to the stage where I am sick of my own nagging so I’m hoping to keep myself accountable on here. 

We have been together for 5 years and a move this year should see us in the same location again. We are thinking of purchasing a place but he knows that won’t happen unless there is an engagement. He reassured me that he wanted the same things but I am not seeing any actions e.g researching buying a place or a ring. 

At this point in time I know I cannot force him into proposing but I am going to try and focus on myself to make me more happy and balanced. Hope everyone else does well this fortnight!

The topic ‘The Shut It Up Pact (SIUP) โ€“ July 1st-15th’ is closed to new replies.

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