(Closed) The Shut It Up Pact (SIUP) – July 1st-15th

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 16
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

niknak88:  I think if he knows there is month then it’s close and in the works. Just relax and enjoy the last few months. 

Post # 18
Member
33 posts
Newbee

Ladies! How do you not talk about it when wherever you go people are asking “when are you getting married?”  “when are you gonna get that ring?”  “when are you going to make an honest woman out of her?” AAAH.. I tried so hard this last weekend that my SO was home to not talk about it but its hard when theres pressure all around!

Post # 19
Member
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

rocktheboat:  Well, I haven’t gotten too many of these intrusive questions, but if I am alone and someone I don’t know very well asks “when are you getting married,” I just answer, “I don’t know,” with no other explanation. That’s usually uncomfortable enough for the person to move on to other topics (and it’s true!). If my Boyfriend or Best Friend is there, I simply keep silent, and he’ll just shrug because he can’t stand stuff like that. You don’t have to answer any questions you don’t want to!

Post # 20
Member
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I don’t ever really talk about it. When he was thinking about renovating his house or buying a new one, he asked me what “our plan” was. At that point, we had been dating for about 1.5 years and both owned separate homes (we still do). I told him then that I was interested in being with him long-term (meaning permanently) and that marriage was important to me. He said he was excited about being with me permanently as well and that although marriage wasn’t important to him, it would become so if it was important to me.

 

We decided to live in my condo while he renovates his house and then move into his house together and sell my condo. Now, 1.5 years later, the house is almost finished (yes, it took that freaking long to find a contractor and do the work. It’s been quite a lesson in stress and patience). I am thrilled to be living with him and am confident that a propsal will come. In my mind, I would like to be engaged by April 2017, but it’s not a timeline I have communicated to him. If it seems to be taking longer than I am comfortable with, I will talk to him about it again to see where we both are. In the meantime, there is no pressure on anyone to make any sudden moves! I feel like I somewhat pressured my first husband into marriage, and I will never be in that position again. He knows how I feel and I only need to be honest and know my own boundaries. Still, I am excited for a proposal!

Post # 21
Member
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

To be completely verbose today (can you tell I am procrastinating at work?), I am excited about summer traditions because we will finally be in the renovated house soon (fingers crossed). I want to do a big crab boil and also a tropical drink party where I make some of the caribbean drinks I had in St. John last December– especially this magical drink with bailey’s, coconut cream, and sometimes rum. It was to die for.

Post # 22
Member
1178 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I’m in on this pact!! 🙂 I have been trying SO hard not to bring it up with my boyfriend. He gets frustrated if I do, because he doesn’t want me to ruin the surprise of it. Plus, I think he’s a little nervous about it. haha Not the actual being engaged part, but the act of proposing part. I don’t know what he’s so nervous about though, he knows I’ll say yes! 🙂

Post # 23
Member
3306 posts
Sugar bee

SO initiated a talk tonight, which included marriage. More hinting about stuff but it was a good conversation and I think he gets it now. His exact words to me was “I get it, why wait” in response to when I told him I am ready to take that next step. 

Other stuff he said included- “You remind me so much of my mom” followed with “I can only marry someone who reminds me of my mom” a few sentences later…. His mother has passed on and he misses her a great deal.

Other memorable quotes were “This feels right” and “I am in love with you- my mind is on love drugs and you are my fix.” Although I can’t get him to say the exact words “I want to marry you,” I think this is as close as I will get before he actually proposes. He is adamant it should be a surprise. I don’t think it will be any time soon – there is a lot going on with family but I think he made some final decisions about us. He knows for a fact he is in the driver’s seat. I love the fact that this was initiated by him. I have been pretty quiet lately so he probably thought I have been pulling away from him. 

I love this man- I don’t think I would leave him if he didn’t propose. I would be annoyed but I would rather have him than be married to someone else. I truly believe he was made for me. Everything just matches up. 

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