(Closed) The Shut It Up Pact (SIUP) – May 1st-15th

posted 4 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1259 posts
Bumble bee

lauralaura123:  You’ve done it just right 🙂

I’m no longer a waiting bee so I won’t be partaking any longer, but for anybody on the fence about whether to join this thread I really recommend it! It definitely helps to be able to vent with other ladies who know just how you feel.

Post # 4
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

You did it right. 🙂 I feel like the waiting board has kinda died lately…. is everyone out there getting engaged? Lol.

Post # 5
Member
550 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Friendship Plaza

Maybe a lot of us seems-like-it’s-forever-waiting bees have just resigned themselves, LOL. I know I’ve just dived into being busy and being productive. This board definitely helps though. Sometimes I look as it on my computer and think ‘Gah, if I go look at the boards, I’ll just get morose’. I’ve had some very unhelpful comments on the boards as well, from non-waiters that get… oh, shall we say… a bit judgey and preemptive in creating a narrative based on a few hairs of your story.

But I digress. And I vacillate, still, between how I feel, as I’m ‘waiting’. I’m not *really* waiting anymore (though technically yes), so it’s hard if I try to sink into parsing out all those thoughts.

I digress again. SO BACK TO YOUR QUESTION. This summer I’ve two new hives of bees I’m going to be maintaining and growing, so that will be a great deal of interest and fun (I literally installed them this afternoon). I hope to get my house rented out to new tenants in the next few months. I’ve a few small projects, but I really hope to have more downtime than I’ve had in the past year, downtime to do things I enjoy – swim more, play my instruments more, read more, write more, play more. All inside the cool, crisp air conditioning, thankyouverymuch!

 

Post # 7
Member
550 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Friendship Plaza

lauralaura123:  It’s a tough question to answer, but I’ll try!
 Some of it is semantics: ‘waiting’ sounds like my life is on hold, and I’m making sure it is not. I’ve also been ‘waiting’ a long time – we’re older – he has the ring – we supposedly made a decision for the future, and he’s expressed wanting to do ‘something special’. Whether or not I think he’s being ridiculous and/or am skeptical of his intentions doesn’t so much matter, because right now : I’m happy. I’m not completely *content*, but I’m happy, and I’m enjoying all that I’m involved in. I’ve also never been in a big hurry – my only urgency (which is not really urgency) came from the fact that once you make a decision to spend the rest of your lives together – what’s the hold up!

So, in my mind – he either is, or he isn’t, and there’ll come a time when the season has ended. I look at relationships as either a reason, season, or lifetime, and if this is a season, then it will come to a natural close at some point. I’m not at the point yet at all. I would love it to be a lifetime, but when someone doesn’t equal that sense of readiness, I tend to back off in my emotional investment.

Also – my birthday is next week, and our 3rd anniversary is in June, soooo: I kind of am giving it question mark that it may happen. If it hasn’t happened this summer then my mindset will ‘set’ some more.

Blagh, does that make sense? It’s an awful lot ot parse out, all the feelings and thoughts, right?

Post # 9
Member
2920 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

megkate87:  I think it’s more that several long term “waiters” have recently figured out their so’s are not ever going to marry them.. Sad on one hand but better to know and not waste more years. 

Post # 10
Member
211 posts
Helper bee

Hey everyone! Boyfriend or Best Friend and I are going to premarital counseling (before getting to engaged) next Saturday (5/14). What do I look forward to this summer…. bring able to wear a crop top without my gut hanging out 😩 I was really good at exercising for a month and I fell off for the last 2 weeks! I’m going on a cruise for my mom’s 50th B-Day in June… that’s about it. I want to puck up a hobby be my only hobby now is cooking and watching TV 

Post # 11
Member
14 posts
Newbee

I’m a few days late but I’m in. 

So and I have been together for 3 1/2 years and these past few months have been brutal while waiting. I was expecting but lost the baby in March and since I have been doing a lot of soul searching and trying to figure out what I want out of life. While pregnant I did a lot of pushing for marriage but SO wants to do things in his timing when he’s ready. I could tell I was pushing him to much so I expressed how I felt and decided to shut up, leave it alone and just pray and let God do the rest.

I’m a teacher so I have 3 1/2 weeks left of school and then will have the summer off. I’m looking forward to the few trips I have planned this summer and to continue to build my health and fitness coaching business over the summer. I’ve been really diving into it to help put my focus somewhere else.

Post # 12
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee

I have been with my boyfriend 7 years. Sometimes being on these boards makes me crazier. Now I feel like I am in a good place….but honestly I don’t know how to get into a calm rationale from being wedding crazy, it just happens on its own. he has had the ring for 2 months. i told him I wanted a fall engagement. we are going on a trip in about a week. I don’t think he is going to propose on the trip even though there are many beautiful waterfalls. 

Post # 13
Member
863 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2017 - historical mansion

lauralaura123:  I read your story! Congrats! I am happy for you that your wait is over. Well, I brought up waiting yesterday because hadn’t talked about it in over a month since the day we ordered the ring, and I was feeling anxious yesterday about it for some reason, so I brought it up, but now I am ready to join the pact. I found your story and advice very helpful in that I definitely have to learn to let go and let him do something special and surprising like he wants. He said it will be “by July 1,” and I expresed that I am not great with uncertainty, but I am trying to go with the flow. I promised that I would not bring it up again until mid-June (if at all) and only if I am feeling anxious about it again. He was very understanding and said, “My feet are toasty warm,” which I thought was cute. My advice for others would be to bring things up in terms of how you feel. In other words, don’t accuse him or anything, but it’s perfectly legitimate to say that you feel anxious. Anyway, I feel better after yesterday’s conversation and ready to joint the pact for the next few weeks. Good luck to all the waiting bees.

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