Post # 1
So my fiance wants me to have his sister as one of my bridesmaids. I really DON’T want to do this. I’ve asked 3 of my best friends and I only want 3 attendants. I don’t want to have a massive wedding party. I’m not close with his sister. She wasn’t terribly excited for us when we got engaged and she’s not much fun. Respectfully, she’s also probably a size 20 or higher and I think it will be difficult to find a dress that will fit her and that my other bridesmaids will also want to wear. He’s hoping that this will be the spark that helps her lost weight but it’s not going to be. She’ll lose the weight when she decides to, if ever. Any suggestions? Thanks.
Post # 4
@new bride: First of all, your FSIL’s weight should have nothing to do with whether or not you choose her as a bridesmaid. To be honest, that’s rude and insensitive of you to even mention it as a “con” to including her in your wedding party. Besides, most bridesmaids dresses come in plus sizes; sometimes they charge extra for size 18+, but they are available.
Now, that aside, if you aren’t close to her, perhaps you can talk to your Fiance about that. Is having siblings in the wedding party customary for his family? It is in mine; I am having my Future Sister-In-Law as a bridesmaid (but I am close to her), and my brother is a groomsman. So personally, I understand your Fiance wanting to have his sister as a bridesmaid. Also, if you do include your SIL as a Bridesmaid or Best Man, four people isn’t a “massive wedding party.” It will be fine.
One suggestion would be to have a mixed gender bridal party. If your Fiance is set on including his sister and you refuse to have her as a bridesmaid, perhaps she could stand on his side with the groomsmen. Another suggestion would be to include her in another way, perhaps as an usherette, a greeter, a reader, personal attendant, etc.
Post # 5
@new bride: Is your Fiance close with his sister? Because, it’s his wedding party just as much as it is yours. I was hoping to have 5 bridesmaids in my wedding, before I met my Fiance. He is very close with his family, and having his sisters up there with us is important to us both. I want my brother and sister to be a part of our wedding party, as well, so now we’re up to 9 on my side and 8 on his, way bigger than I ever thought I would have, but at the end of the day it’s not THAT important. Also, as a girl who knows what it’s like to be plus sized, I’ve been the biggest bridesmaid in MANY a wedding. And you make it work, my one friend chose a dress that only came up to a size 14, and I was between a 16 & 18 at the time… so, I had to get material from other bridesmaids dresses to have mine let out, not ideal, but we made it work.
Post # 6
Okay, some things to think about, thanks everyone.