- 4 years ago
So, tonight was a good night.
We have been together for a few years and I have relocated for him twice (once giving up my job). I told him that I would be looking for a job in a different country (as where we live without the local language it is difficult to get past screening) as it did not seem like we were going to be taking that next step any time soon and I needed to seriously get back to concentrating on my career.
We have always had conversations about when we are married and when we have children – so I never doubted his commitment to me; just that when I brought it up with him he wasn’t that communicative about anything more specific.
We had a proper exchange this evening – I told him how my concern was that he would always be waiting for everything to be just right, and that it a) didn’t have to be and b) never would be as life continously changes… He told me that he thought that us talking about our future with certainty was indication that he was serious about proposing soon. Then he started to tell me his specific plans and I cut him off because – I still want it to be a surprise!
I worry that I’ve now ruined how ‘special’ it would be out of the blue, as he wanted it to be, but I am much calmer in myself now and will be less of a bunny boiler (hopefully). He assures me that I haven’t ruined anything.
I had been worrying a lot about putting on too much pressure, ruining his plans etc but reading a lot of posts on this site have helped me realise that I needed to have the conversation for my own piece of mind and that it was perfectly normal and ok to do so.
So, I suppose what I want to say is – thanks guys.