- 7 years ago
- Wedding: February 2012
I randomly commet on others post, but never write much about me and my life. the majority of this story is only known by 5 people. (they are, My best friend, My future mother and father in law, Fiance and Me.)
So I saw a post from about a year ago about Momma Bees. So it got me thinking about my own unique story.
So, I have been in a realtionship with my man for almost seven years. (I know seven years is a long time, we were both 19 when we met) Well fast forward a few years and we got the worlds best suprise, a beautiful baby boy who was born in spring or 2009(we were together for 5 years when baby was born). and fast forward a bit more, and we are FINALLY getting married in Feb 2012! My little guy is going to make the cutest Ring Bearer ever. I can’t wait to see him in a tiny tux.
What made me wait to get married?
I waited because I knew the vision I had of my wedding, the dream that I had been creating in my head since I was a little girl. And I knew that it was not something I wanted to rush. Espically when Fiance and I didn’t care too much that we were having a baby and were not married. I think the only two people who cared were my dad and his mom. I would have liked to have been married before my son was born but its not something I regret. And I am glad i waited so I didn’t have a wedding that was not me, and not my vision. I also didn’t want people to think we were just getting married because we were having a baby, not that it is anyone esles business anyways. But I didn’t want a baby to push us in to a life long decision. I didn’t care what everyone else thought. We were in our mid 20’s both had amazing steady jobs, we were living together, and I already have my BA.
and so we waited to get married.
and we unexpectly had to wait some more.
Because life is unexpected… sortly after our sons first birthday our wedding planning got put on hold even longer…. My Fiance got injured at work, he was in the hospital for a month and off work for seven moths as he learned to walk again after an amputation. (so as you see we get thrown some unexpected curves in life…)
(But I have some emotioanl baggage to get out before I can fully move on with everything wedding…)
But did I also tell you We had a horrilbe engament story that was provoked by Fiance mom, she basically forced him to propse to me when I was 6 moths pregant and it was bad. so bad I was crying (and not tears of joy). She had put so much pressure on him because she thought my dad wanted me to be engaged so she put too much pressure on my Fiance and he has always listend to his mother and he didn’t want to hurt her. so he randomly propsed to me one night when I just got out of the shower and was laying on the couch in a bath towel. come to find out he was so stressed out about having to propse to me he just did it because he wanted to get it over with and we were supposed to see his parents the next day and he didn’t want to dissapoint his mother. But it devastaded me. i am and always will be a hopeless romantic. And I was hurt that he didn’t do anything specail to ask me to marry him. I said yes but he knew something was wrong and he started crying and getting mad at himself. and he called his parents and got made at them for making him ruin something that sould have been special and his mom felt so bad. so they decided to pretend it never happened and I agreed to go along with it. no one else knew and I never saw that ring again.
Fast forward to two moths after my son was born and Fiance took me and only me on a weekend to the beach. and blah blah blah he dropped done on one knee on the beach at night and asked me to marry him. Special but not a suprise. but still better then the first try.
so for me its like I waited to have a perfect wedding because my egament was so bad it made me not want to rush into a wedding and have it feel like it wasn’t for me but for his super religious mother and my old school father.
I was also sad because not to many people in my family were showing that were excited for me when I got engaged, don’t get me wrong my firends were over he moon but my family come on people get it together and show me some kind of emoitions.
I was so angry at his parents I still hold a grudge against them. I know I must sound like a mega bitch right now but come on. We all want our engament to be amazing and one of the best memories of our life… so how do I build a bridge and move on and cope with this (sad that I still dwell on theis almost two and a hlaf years later).
and if by some miricle you made it this far thank you for sticking it out and reading my story. I have been thorugh alot in the past years and needed to get things out that I held in. Only four people in my world know of the first propsal story…
So I need help getting past my past and venting seemed to be the right way to go. any comments or qquestions fire away. had a bad propsal let it out, it helps. Got any other ideas how to move past this please share. this feels theraputic to me so thats whay I went for it….