- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2011
Oh bees, I’m so disappointed and upset tonight…our wedding is in less than a week. I feel like I should be on top of the world and so excited. Instead I find myself feeling awful and upset. Don’t worry, no cold feet, but other issues are just getting to me. I’ve been a totally calm bride for the most part. I laughed and blew it off when one of the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses came in the wrong color. When our officiant disappeared I calmly found and booked a new one within 24 hours. But the last couple of days have been horrible. No one big reason why, more of a combination of lots of little things.
Fiance and his dad run a parts store, and today their salesman who comes in every few weeks was there and Future Father-In-Law mentioned the wedding, which is when he awkwardly found out this guy wasn’t invited. So he was being shitty to Fiance about it. None of my mom’s coworkers who have known me forever and whom she sees on a daily basis are invited. None of my coworkers are invited. And 6 days before the wedding is not the time to give me crap about the guest list!
We almost didn’t have a cake because that was the one payment Fiance was responsible for and he forgot.
I don’t feel like FI’s mom likes me, mostly because we’re just so different. She’s super thrifty, I’m willing to splurge on things that are very important to me, which I think she sees as irresponsible. She thinks having kids should be your top priority in life and is a stay at home mom, I want to wait until I’m a bit older (only 23!) and finished with college to think about kids. She and Future Father-In-Law constantly put anti-Obama rants on FB, I voted for him. My family already calls Fiance their son/nephew/etc, she has made it clear me and Future Brother-In-Law are to use first names and never ever calls us her DIL or SIL.
Future Mother-In-Law used to show tons of interest in our lives and want us over all the time – I’m not sure if the lack of interest happened with the engagement or because her first grandchild was born, both happened at the same time, but either way it is hurtful – she is always with Future Sister-In-Law and her son. She also makes snide remarks about how much I’m spending on the wedding and laughs at everything I freaking do, our Save-The-Date Cards and seating chart and everything formal about our wedding is just hilarious to her, she seriously laughs at me, and has shown zero interest in our plans. Although she laughs at everything, and I’ll be honest it grates on my nerves because she does it whenever she disagrees with someone, like their viewpoint is soooo funny. It’s so hard, I wish we could bond, I got along great with my ex’s mom and she loved me, but I just do not click with FI’s. And yes, I’m aware of how ironic it is that I’m worried she doesn’t like me when really I’m not her biggest fan either. I do really want to change that, but I know it’s going to take some effort on my part.
I went to the venue to turn in our seating chart and was told it was all wrong. Now I’m staying up late fixing it.
And my family and friends keep texting me pictures of outfits and shoes and jewelry for the wedding wanting my opinions. It’s nice they care, but OMG people, I am trying to pull together all the details for my wedding! Freaking dress yourself! I do not have time to consult with all of you about your outfits!
Oh, and I just realized I never had my band sign the venue’s liability form, which was due over a week ago. Maybe the venue has forgotten too because they never mentioned it. Hoping I can just have them sign it the day of when they get there to setup?
Also, we put together our arch today and it’s too tall to fit in FI’s truck, so no idea how it’s getting to our ceremony site!
Fiance and I had a long talk tonight, and I finally expressed how I’ve been feeling about his mom. I’m a bit calmer now that we talked about it, but I also feel guilty for basically saying some not so nice things about his mom. He understands, but I think was still a bit hurt and said that he’s used to the laughing and how she is about her opinions so he doesn’t notice much but will try to pay better attention, although he knows if he says anything she’ll get upset. He said he hasn’t called her as much lately like he used to, and I told him that maybe he should call a bit more, and perhaps she thinks I’m pulling him away and that’s partially why she’s been weird. Although I think it’s mostly her, not us – Fiance was engaged once before and I happen to know she had problems with his fiancee. I just wish we could bond and spend some time together like she always does with his sister, who is super nice…but I just don’t see it happening. And I wish I could stop stressing about it, especially so close to the wedding.
If you actually read all of that thank you, I appreciate it very much. Any words of advice on calming down about the wedding details? People who have been there done that with their MIL? Advice on how to better the relationship and not feel so annoyed by her?