- 3 years ago
Y’all… I’ve only been engaged 3 weeks, and already I am feeling overwhelmed and stressed out about planning this wedding! Is this normal!? I anticipated it to be such a joyful time, but I’ve been feeling some heartache already!
Here’s what’s keeping me up at night…
My mom has turned into some kind of “momzilla”. She is completely overwhelming me with details about what to do for this, or what cake topper, or how people will expect cake and be disappointed (I want pies!), and the list goes on. She insisted we go look around for wedding dresses, so I agreed to make one appointment and visit another place…She told me she watches the wedding shows so she knows how to act, but I was completely taken aback by how opinionated she was, and how she thought my dress should have this/that/etc. It was almost embarrassing. Surprisingly, I did end up finding a beautiful dress at the place where we made an appointment, but the experience was a little harrowing at first… We do not have a date picked out yet, but are hoping for March 2015. I feel like I cannot focus on anything else really until the date is chosen and the big items, venue/caterer/photographer/music/etc. is scheduled, but she keeps bombarding me and getting very upset when I tell her I’m overwhelmed. I try to be as gentle as possible, but she takes it so personally if I tell her I would prefer to do something differently…I want her to be a part of this, but I don’t want her to get offended when I make different suggestions or that I want to take a step back because I am overwhelmed, and we haven’t even chosen a date yet!
Then there is the issue with the date…My fiance and I have been with each other for 7 years. We both are very excited about (him especially) having an outdoor wedding and reception. It is very “us”. We don’t want to do it this fall because it’s so soon, not to mention that my dress won’t be in by then. We have chosen March because his little sister is getting married July 4, 2015, and told us that it wouldn’t be too close to hers. His brother is having his second wedding three months later in Oct 2015. So, our window of opportunity is very small. My priest, whom I am very close to and whom I want to officiate our wedding, isn’t sure if he will be able to officiate our wedding in March because it is during Lent, which is a solumn time in the Episcopal Church. Since we are having it outside, he doesn’t think it should be a problem, and he doesn’t mind doing it, but he needs to check with the bishop first. We haven’t heard back from the bishop yet, and I am hoping and praying that he will give us the OK. I asked my FSIL if us having our wedding in early April would be alright, since it would be the week after Easter to avoid the Lent problem, and she told me that honestly, it would be too close to her wedding. I was pretty disappointed to hear this, since it would literally be two weeks after our tentative March wedding date. Apparently, she needs ample time to “be in the spotlight”. My family is paying for the wedding, not his, we are having a completely different wedding than she is (she is doing chruch/ballroom) and all her the mutual family we would invite live in the area. It frustrates me because I don’t understand this “in the spotlight” thinking, I just want to marry my fiance. I don’t need a season to shine. I’ve dated her brother for 7 years, she has been with her fiance for a little over a year and a half. If we wait to do it during a time that doesn’t interfere with her spotlight or his brothers’, then I have to wait until March 2016, which is basically two years, to marry my fiance. I’ve waited so long, I just don’t now if I can wait longer. I guess that we could get a justice of the peace to do it, but…. my fiance is the justice of the peace for that area! I don’t want some random stranger who doesn’t know us to do it, andit really means a lot to me that my priest marry us. We maybe could get married before lent, which would be early February, but my fiance is so excited, and pretty adamant that we get married outside on our family’s property.
So… please, please, please say a prayer for me! Or send me positive thoughts/vibes. I need them right now! I’m trying to be hopefuly and think positively that it will all work out. The temptation to elope is getting stronger and stronger!