- Take The Reins
- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
So on another thread,( http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/oh-no-she-didnt-just-come-at-me-and-my-puppy ) many people posted about respect, and how it is earned not given. This statement gave me pause, and maybe I am being too literal with the statement, but I am now genuinely curious on others views on this, becasue I was raised that respect is to be given until reason dictates otherwise.
This was my post, and thread jacking (sorry OP). THoughts form the Hive?
“@ all the PP’s who have stated respect needs to be earned…I’m both curious and slightly shocked at this perspective (in general, and in relation to OP’s situation). Don’t YOU personally expect, heck even demand, a degree of respect as a human being from anyone you come into contact with daily, known to you or not? The cabbies, the bartender, the guy on the elevator, the barista at Starbucks who doesn’t know you for shit?! If everyone carries the attitude that respect is not to be given, but only earned, society will unravel quicker than it already is, because if you don’t have the opportunity to KNOW someone on a personal/business level, how can they EARN respect? The polite server earns YOUR respect for their duty done well, but they GIVE you respect as soon as they come in contact with you. So you feel you deserve to be given respect in order for someone to EARN yours? Bit skewed isn’t it?
Not to dismiss the 3rd parties behaviour as I also agree she was out of line, but the elderly generation (70 and over ish) were raised in a different day, their expectations, beliefs, traditions and upbringings are SO incredibly differnt than most of ours. Think of what the world was 60 or 70 years ago…TOTALLY differnt than now, in every way (hell, I marvel at how differnt it as 15-20 years ago when I was a kid!). I was raised to respect my elders, authority figures and peers no matter what! If people abuse my respect, then yes, I absolutely revoke it, but that does NOT give ME leave to be rude either! I fully admit, I find the elderly often obnoxious, and frequently mean, and usually nosey. Most elderly people have very little in their lives to occupy them (I have witnessed first hand) But no matter what that doesn’t give ME the right to disrespect them just because. By getting to where they are, I feel they DO deserve respect on principle. I thinka bit of compassion and sympathy to their station in life is warranted, although there are a good many who delight in the angst they can casue others…I feel this behaviour is not different than a young child acting out to gain parental or adult attention, just that their methods are far more sophisticted!
I am curious to know to all of those who beleive the above…where do you see the world in another 5 years if everyone adopts the principle respect is only to be earned, not given freely? Will you raise your kids with that belief also?”
Or am I being too literal with the statement?