(Closed) The subject of respect

posted 6 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

I give respect to everyone until they act like idiots or otherwise…. then they will have to earn it from me. This is how I view respect.

Post # 4
9687 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@happyface:  Me too.

Post # 5
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I respect the elderly. I don’t yell at their (often horrible) driving or push past them on a busy sidewalk. I hold doors, I say “You go first” if I see someone with a cane waiting in line at the pharmacy. I was raised to be respectful of all people. If an elderly person or anyone for that matter, is coming at me in disrespect however, I will either ignore or say something. Oh yes, many an elderly person has told me “Get your kid under control!” when I’m trying to wrangle my autistic child for a hasty store exit, and I have kindly and firmly told them to mind their own business. No one, no matter what their age, has any right to put themselves into my situation which they know nothing about. Don’t want to deal with my autistic child at the post office? Don’t leave your house I guess. Upset that a puppy has gotten off leash? Move somewhere dogs aren’t allowed to be. If someone is being a jackass usually I’ll ignore them! That’s what my kindergarten teachers used to tell me, “Walk away.” I wouldn’t call that being rude, I’d call that being the bigger person and avoiding further confrontation.

In a professional environment (serving, customer service, whatever) of course I’ll always be respectful first. The client has already “earned” my respect so to speak, by patronizing the business I represent, the business that signs my paycheck. Other than that, you get back what you put out, and if you come at me from a place of rudeness, it’s likely coming right back at you.

Post # 6
2893 posts
Sugar bee

I think that it’s possible to earn respect BUT….

I’m with you. I’ll respect you simply for the fact that you are a human being with thoughts, emotions, identity. But I will be more than happy to cut off that respect once you show that you aren’t deserving of any. I operate that way with trust as well. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt because I don’t know you, but that doesn’t mean I’ll be taken advantage of. You have a limited, preliminary amount of my trust. But once you show you aren’t trustworthy – it’s over.

But you’re right. We all want to be treated with respect from strangers so it’s unfair to say we’ll only give it once they prove they’re worthy. What about us? Why are we exempt from proving our respect-worth? 

In regards to the 3rd party’s behavior? No. She did not earn respect or deserve any post-incident. Why? Yeah, she’s old, grew up with different expectations. But if I’m to be understanding to your situation, you should be understanding of mine. Respect is a 2 way street and being old doesn’t give you a pass to being an ugly person. Now, due to their age and the fact that they do have that little bit of “I’m a human being” respect from me I might not tear them a new one and take the higher ground. But my compassion ends there. An ugly person is an ugly person, age be damned.


Just my opinion. Though, too long I think… 😉 You got me thinking as well.

Post # 7
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I reserve a sort of minimum level of respect for anyone I come into contact with. From there,they either act like a tit,and lose that respect,or they do something which makes them earn more. Kinda like a gold star system lol.

I think with kids now,(I feel so old saying that!) it links into this attitude of “entitlement”that a lot of them seem to have,they are entitled to eberything,and dont have to give any form of respect in order to get it,everything is just handed to them on a silver platter,and so they dont learn respect,or how to earn anything.

Just my 2 cents lol

Post # 8
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

@happyface:  I give respect to everyone until they act like idiots or otherwise…. then they will have to earn it from me. This is how I view respect.

This does not include the elderly, mentally and physically handicapped etc… whom deserves respect becasue of who they are.

Post # 9
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I didn’t read the other thread so I’m not sure how this fits in but….

To me there is a difference between respect (which in my mind means a deference or a feeling of esteem towards someone) and tolerance/manners.

I agree that respect needs to be earned, and I will teach my children that they shouldn’t give their trust, loyalty or friendship to someone that they can’t respect.

On the other hand, I do believe that everyone needs to be taught tolerance and basic manners toward everyone. Please, thank you, holding open doors, helping the elderly across the street – I plan to teach my children the whole shebang because I feel that it’s absolutely necessary. The world would be a much better place In My Humble Opinion if people acted like ladies and gentlemen.

Post # 10
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I work in a convenience store, so my view of respect from behind the counter is a tad different.  I am kind and courteous to all my customers, but there is respect to be earned as well.  Do not scream at me because the coffee pot is empty, if you saw customers in front of you empty it and know that I’m headed over with a new one.  Do not expect me to pick up your garbage.  Do not expect me to get into conversations that are politically incorrect.  I’m not your servant – I might work in customer service, but that doesn’t make me your servant.  Nor am I a marathon running robot – you may have to wait 10 seconds before I can help you.  Deal with it – everyone else is, and I deal when I’m not at work, but a customer.  It’s normal.  If you don’t tell me what you want, then don’t get upset when I don’t get it for you.  I’m not a mind reader.  Oh, and please do not complain when you can’t find a parking spot outside – it means I’m doing my job right, and we’re busy.  If you don’t like it, the gas station across the street is known for selling drugs.  Go there.

Rant over.  Thank you.

Post # 11
4693 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@KatyElle:  Completely agree with this.

Post # 12
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Well, is it respect we are talking about or human decency?  I think we need to distinguish between ACTING respectfully, which is what we do with the Barista or the person in front of us and RESPECT, which can be found in an actual relationship.

I think it is always important to act respectfully towards other people, regardless of who they are.  Respect is implied in a relationship and will only be revoked when one or both of the parties destroys it, much like trust.  Under those circumstances, it is earned (back).

that’s just me though.

Post # 13
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m respectful and courteous until someone gives me a reason not to be. There’s no need to be a dick, lol. 

Post # 15
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

@kimbo89:  I kind of like this. I have a certain level of kindness/respect toward everyone I meet, until they give me cause to act otherwise. It’s not dependent on their age, gender, or skin color. Just because you are elderly, doesn’t mean you get more – just because you are a different skin color doesn’t mean you get less.

You are nice to me, I’ll be nice to you. However, if you come screaming at me when you don’t know the situation, or are otherwise nasty toward me, you have now lost the entitlement to my kindness.

Post # 16
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I prefer to kill people with kindness 😉

 Nothing throws off a nasty person more than the other person not being bothered by what they do and being pleasant in response.


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