Sweetie, if it makes you feel better, I set the bar lower for y’all. I actually took a break in the middle of opening a can Seriously, was in the kitchen opening a can of pineapple tidbits (I love them on pita pizzas), opened half the can, wandered into the living room to see what was happening on Family Feud on the TV, sat down and watched til the commercial, went back to the kitchen and opened the rest of the can.
I’m an older Bee, so I can remember when the term ‘Supermom’ first started back in the 80s, right around the time Yuppies became a thing too. Where women Had It All/ DId It All and looked great the whole time doing it and seemingly never got tired or cranky or bloated They had wonderful high powered careers, made gourmet meals, had designer magazine homes, had their adorably precocious kids involved in all the right activities, lessons, sports etc and never missed a single ballet recital or soccer game despite the high powered career and were always ready for a little PG rated off camera foolin’ around with the adoring hubby.
Popular sitcoms of the time re-inforced this too, even before the days of social media cranked it up a few more notches. And women would brainwash themselves into thinking that running yourself ragged trying to be Supermom was a badge of honour, an achievement. That it was worth getting up at 4:30 am so your child could bring in handmade cannolis for the bakesale that everyone would ooh and ahh over it while saying I don’t know how she does it then dashing off to their 50 hour work week and coming home to whip up a meal that would have Gordon Ramsey drooling with admiration and envy. In fact, sitcoms like Roseanne and Married With Children were a backlash against all this hype and perfection.
And now we have a new generation of Supermoms with internet access, the kind that don’t even bother with veiled humblebrags, it’s just full on braggy-brags all over Facebook, Twitter, & Pinterest. Where the lunch you packed for your kids is now a photo-op to lord over other lesser-achieving moms who didn’t take the time to make the sandwiches into Pikachus and didn’t make the radishes in the Bento boxes into flowers. And moms who see this while wearing a tank top with baby spit-up on the shoulder and a week’s worth of laundry piled up wonder how they do it.
From my experience, they either do it while running themselves into exhaustion (but crying in the shower or snipping moodliy at their husbands doesn’t make their FB newsfeeds) or else they create a rather misleading and idealized version of their lives on social media.
I think the key is actually self-esteem, self-confidence. Because we all strive to be good parents, keep a reasonably clean home, eat healthy, do well at our jobs if we work outside the home…..but to not let ourselves worry overly so about what other people think or comparing ourselves to what others brag about on social media. My home is for our family, and sometimes for extended family, friends and other guests, but it’s lived in, not a showpiece. If you come over, I do like to cook so you’ll get a good meal. And wine if you’re so inclined. And you’ll be welcomed, but it will be reasonably clean, not spotless. And if you pop by unexpectedly for coffee, you may have to move yesterday’s newspaper and a few folded piles of laundry on the coffee table to make room for your mug. And even though Darling Husband and I both enjoy cooking, we get tired like everybody else and I refuse to feel guilty if the good people at Taco Bell make our dinner one night 🙂 AND- our kids are older, so if anything we have it even easier than you do. If you came over while my kids were little, you’d be lucky if you didn’t step on Lego or sit in Play Doh (but no regrets on that- fun was always encouraged and their friends were always welcome)