- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
Sorry for the long post, please bear with me.
I should probably start off with the good and admit that overall my wedding was beautiful I know I really shouldn’t be complaining. I am grateful to have married the love of my life, to have had family and friends join us from all over the country, and to have pulled of a great wedding while living and stydying abroad.
Nevertheless, so many things went wrong, I can’t help feeling responsible and dissappointed. The guilt and regret are really eating away at me to the point of waking up and I’m constantly beating myself up for not having done things differently.
I planned the whole wedding by myself from 7000 miles away and put an ungodly amount of time into it. The day before the wedding my friends and fiance made me promise I would let go on the day of, let the DOC do her job, and go with the flow. I agreed and actually kept my promise, which I now regret. I would rather have been vocal and risked being called a bridezilla or whatever, but should have been a better advocate and confronted my vendors day of and did a better job of sticking to the schedule. Argh! So frustrated!
1. Despite careful planning and having had a trial, my hair and makeup ran a good half hour late, cutting into pictures. Our pics turned out nice, but we didn’t get to do the majority of pics in places I wanted. Our venue had some gorgeous areas and somehow we ended up taking most pics in one boring area. Why didn’t I speak up? Push the photographers to take the pics I wanted? Really upset about that.
2. To top it off I HATED my hair!!! Everyone told me I was beautiful, but It really didn’t go with my face. I had it slightly differently in my trial, with a side-swept look, but when two of my BMs did something really similar (the girls did whatever they wanted with their hair) I decided to switch it up a bit and pull it back instead and in retrospect wish I hadn’t gotten creative last minute, because it was soooo unflattering.
3. for various silly little reasons our ceremony kept getting delayed more and more. If I had spoken up and yelled at people to keep moving, we wouldn’t have lost a good HOUR, but I promised to go with the flow and kept my mouth shut. Wish I hadn’t.
4. I was so nervous about how late we were starting, I really rushed down the aisle. A guest posted a cellphone video and I look like an elephant stomping! So unladylike and not at all elegant or romantic. Debating whether to ask the videographer to cut it out of the video.
5. I stupidly gave my DOC all the tips to distribute to all the vendors earlier in the day so that I wouldn’t worry about it later and was extremely generous with her own tip. REALLY regret it now, because she didn’t do the best job in keeping things on time (granted some delays weren’t her fault) but the worst part was that after the ceremony she told me that we better hurry because our food is overheating. I asked her if it was bad and she said yes. Who does that? Who freaks out a bride like that? I almost lost it. The food ended up being fine, maybe the veggies a little mushier than ideal, but nothing horrible. I got stressed out for nothing and way overtipped the DOC.
6. Because of losing an hour, everything at the reception was super rushed. I promised myself we’d make it to every table to greet every guest, which we managed to do, but it was so rushed and stressful. I kept having to physically pull my groom away from tables so we could make it to all and he was upset that I wasn’t letting him talk to friends. Well, it wasn’t fun for me either to rush so much, but we had no choice.
7. Somehow the cake-cutting timing was weird and half the guests weren’t even at the tables. The cutting was awkward and rushed. My poor groom got flustered and right after feeding me a piece of cake walked away, leaving me standing there chewing looking like a complete idiot rushing after him.
8. I had a really cute cake topper made and we completely forgot to give it to the caterer to put on the cake. The cake looked ok, but still a but empty and I’m upset no one saw the cute topper.
9. Our wedding was travel-themed and I made cute a bunch of little photo-books with our travels to put around tables during coktail hour for guests to enjoy. Somehow they never got put out and I wasted all that time for nothing.
10. My dad managed to get pretty tipsy by the time of parent dances and almost refused to dance. We got creative and I just took my shoes of and stood on his feet as we swayed as if I was a little girl. The guests thought it was adorable but he could barley stand straight and luckily the DJs cut it after like 30 seconds. Not a fun memory for me.
11. Our thank you speech was super rushed. My groom was too nervous to say anything, so I sped through it, forgetting to thank the most important people like our family! AHHH!
12. My mom got me a beautiful pashmina on a trip to Peru, but it never got cold enough to wear it. I forgot it on my chair and it was never found. So sad I never even got to wear such a special gift.
13. Before he arrived at the venue, I wrote my groom a really sweet note to go with his wedding day gift. He got so excited about opening and enjoying it with the groomsmen (it was scotch and cigars) he didn’t get a chance to read it. Even worse, it got lost by the end of the evening and he never even opened it!
14. And to top all this off, there were a venue “staff” member – more like a friend of the owners – we got married at a private estate – who not only mingled with guests inappropriately and ate our food wearing a freaking TRACKSUIT and baseball hat, but at some point her sweatpants FELL DOWN and she mooned a bunch of our guests. She wasn’t wearing any underwear! Luckily I didn’t see it, but found out after the wedding. How gross and humiliating! We got in touch with he venue owners and they accused us of lying, asking for proof. WHAT? No apology, no offer of some sort of compensation, just demands that our guests come forward and describe what they saw. Like we want to subject our friends to reliving that experience? I don’t want an old woman exposing herself to be what people remember from our wedding. I don’t even know what to do about this. This is by far the worst thing that happened all night! What would you do in my case?
I realize most of not all of these are trivial and much worse things happen unfortunately at weddings, but I can’t seem to get past the dissappointment. Any suggestions?