(Closed) the "timeline"

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1402 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Yuck.  If he’s spontaneous and it’s not a big deal to you, it’s probably smart that you aren’t pressing the issue.  I’m crazy and need to plan things, so if my SO hadn’t given me a timeline I would have been miserable.

Post # 4
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Choosgirl:  Maybe let the topic rest for a while, but bring it up again in a more serious context.

Like I always say, if you’re in a long term relationship, and especially if you’re been together for a while and especially(!!) if you live together, marriage shouldn’t be a taboo topic.

You’ve planted the seed in his head so that is good. My boyfriend and I discuss goals we want together… so for example buying a vacation property is one of them. Moving to a different country is another. We have timelines for these things.

 

Post # 5
Member
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Yeah, my SO says one thing but i feel it wont happen that way.. I have learned that just not bringing it up as much and just enjoying him makes it alot better.

Post # 9
Member
1402 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@Choosgirl:  Good luck!  I mean it!  If you ever need to vent you know we’re here for you.  Keeping yourself busy is the best way to ignore the waiting.

Post # 11
Member
529 posts
Busy bee

My SO is completely against any timeline and it drives me crazy because I am a planner. We both have kids from our previous marriages so it isn’t like we can just marry whenever. I totally understand your frustration but if your SO is anything like mine the less you bring it up the better. Try to enjoy things as they are-I know that is WAY easier said than done but the more I focus on what we have now the more willing he is to talk about the future. Best of luck to you!

Post # 13
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee

We had the timeline talk in May… He told m 1 year. I want him to do things as he’s ready, so I didn’t bring t up again until a friends wedding last weekend… He said 3 years. I really hope he’s trying to throw me off! My fingers are crossed for our vaation in Oct. it’s a surprise trip, all I have been told is what days to take off.

Post # 14
Member
1541 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I’m with you! I’ve been with SO for 5 years, but I’m going back to school, so it’s been pushed back. We agreed the latest would be 3 years, but I emphasized I would love for it to be earlier! lol. Next year we should have a better idea of this since he should be getting a raise and his school debt will be paid off.

Post # 15
Member
1417 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Men and the timelines! My SO used to tell me every time I bring it up he adds a year. He is joking when he says that though because the first time he said that I almost killed him! LOL.

   I was doing really good not saying anything then alot of friends have been asking me to be in their weddings so I’m constantly planning with them, which doesn’t help my SO at all haha.

 But the waiting boards are here to help lol. I come on here and vent instead of laying it on my SO lol.

Post # 16
Member
1748 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I was never given a time line and he never gave me an idea of when, but any time I’d be snarky or “fresh” he’d jokingly say, “well that adds a year!” (to the time left prior to him proposing). I put up with it for a bit and then began to respond with restricting intimacy and he stopped that real quick. Ha. 

I actually wanted to get married in April/May 2012, I graduated college May 2011 and was hoping he’d propose that night. Well we got engaged in December 2012, but I still wanted a spring wedding and thought 5-6 months wasn’t enough time to plan (and boy was I right!), so we’re doing it in May 2013. Since he’s made comments about how long our engagement is and then he follows it up with, “but I guess that’s my fault for waiting so long”. 🙂

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