Post # 1
A year and some months ago I joined weddingbee, expecting I’d be engaged by now. I chose the name “Dizbee” because it was a cute version of “Disney Bee.” Partly because I love all things Disney and partly because my SO and I planned to get engaged on our big trip there. We saved and saved for a year and a half for this trip. I’m a student and he’s a paralegal going to law school next year so things are tight. But we made it happen. We’re leaving tomorrow.
But there won’t be an engagement in the next week. And I posted awhile back that I’m okay with it. I still am, but it’s really given me some time to reflect on things. We had a long talk awhile back and we’re not quite ready yet, financially or in our relationship. I feel like there’s a big stigma attached to not being ready, especially in the south where short dating periods and young marriages are very, very common. My best friend met fell in love dated and was engaged in one year exactly. Friends from high school barely took two months. Since we first started dating I’ve been asked when he’s going to propose and I keep telling them we’re not there yet. And then I get the pitying eyes and the ‘it will happens’ and the ‘oh are y’all having *lowers voice* problems?”
No we’re not. Actually things are going great. It’s evolved past the honeymoon stage where everything is perfect and more into something that’s real. I can truly say he’s my best friend. I still get the urge to send him mushy messages in the day and stare into his incredible brown eyes and push back his hair and say I love you a hundred times a day, but it’s more than that now. Now I’ve really started to rely on him, and let him rely on me. I have so much respect for him and all he’s accomplished and I see him as my equal, something I’ve never been able to say about any boyfriend before. But I feel like it’s still not quite there. I know so much about him, but I’m learning more all the time. I feel like I want more time to date before we make it official. I want to be able to start our lives together as financially independant adults. I’m okay with waiting right now. I’m just not okay with the stigma attached to it that after a certain time period, something’s wrong with you or your relationship. Like I’m in denial when I tell people we’re not ready to be engaged but we’re still happy. Happy every day. Not all day every day (there are moments where he drives me nuts), but every single day I feel happy with him. But it’s like that’s not good enough. I keep getting the pitying looks and the concerned questions and it just…ugh.
I guess what I’m asking is, if I’m okay with a trip to Disneyworld being just a trip to Disneyworld, why isn’t that enough for people? Why can’t they just let me be happy in my relationship?
Post # 3
Awwww I LOVE this! Congrats on finally making your trip happen and yes you are totally right, the time that you are in the real meat and potatoes part of your relationship is so much sweeter then when you are in the honeymoon time.
PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE (this is a very enthusiastic please, here) check back in and tell us:
A) how wonderful the trip was
B) what the Beauty and the Beast cottage and castle are like!!!!
I am so excited for you!
Post # 4
That’s so good that you know where you stand, and that you need more time before being ready! I also went through this, and I think it is really important to be super sure– not 100% because I don’t think anyone ever is actually 100% sure– before making that commitment. Getting engaged, after all, is saying that you are ready to marry the person– and, to me, that means that one might as well get married then and there.
I think waiting until you know you are both ready is a great idea, and I respect you for it! That sucks that people in your community don’t think the same thing– societal pressure is really annoying. Ignore the comments from people! It’s not their relationship, none of their darn business!
Have fun in Disneyworld with your man! 😀
Post # 5
- Wedding: May 2013 - The bride's hometown United Methodist Church near Kalamazoo
Have an INCREDIBLE vacation. So what that it’s going to be “just a vacation”: if YOU’RE happy with it, which you clearly are, ignore the naysayers. You should do what’s right for YOU–and you are!! You’re going to have a terrific time: and I hope you tell us all about the Fantasyland expansion! I’m going to Disney in May for our honeymoon and absolutely cannot WAIT!
Post # 6
I soooo love the name Dizbee!! That’s brilliant! I hope you have a fantastic vacation. I wasn’t always a big fan of disney vacations, but I went there one summer and I was there in the evening. It totally changed my perspective. It’s so fun and magical 😀 I would definitley go again!!
Post # 7
Omigosh it was the best most amazing trip I’ve ever been on. I will never go to Disney in the summer ever again, off season is where it’s at (82 degree weather the whole time and no lines!!). Here’s a brief recap:
New Fantasyland was awesome, a lot bigger than I thought it’d be. Smart idea to add two Dumbos and double the ride capacity. The Mine Train ride wasn’t finished yet but from the height of the track it looks like it’s going to be the tallest coaster in the park. SO’s favorite ride was Hall of Presidents (yes really. He’s a history nerd) but he loved Splash Mtn too. Be Our Guest was our longest wait of the trip (30 mins) but it was the best counter service food I’ve had at Disney. It was so worth the wait. Oh and SO tried a Dole Whip and, despite protests about ice cream in December, loved it.
EPCOT will always be my favorite park, even if Illuminations makes me cry every time. Mission Space and Soarin tie for favorite rides. This is where we ate the pizza that blew SO away at Via Napoli. We split a four cheese and both declared it was the best pizza we’d ever had in our lives. Bubbly and so delicious right out of a brick oven (that SO declared we were building in our future home). For dinner we ate at Le Ceiller, which needs no words other than poutine, cheddar cheese soup, steak, chocolate raspberry milkshake, amazing.
MGM (“Hollywood Studios” now), was a big triumph for me since I finally rode two rides that traumatized me in middle school, Tower of Terror and Rock N Roller Coaster. Surprisingly I loved them both the second time around! They weren’t nearly as bad as I remember (probably because T+T has a new drop sequence that doesn’t drop you quite as far as it used to) and no one beats Disney in terms of setting and audio visual. SO couldn’t believe we were going to wait 25 minutes for Fantasmic (he’s so spoiled) but he loved it and the motor stunt show. Dinner was Mama Melrose and nothing too special, but it was still yummy.
Animal Kingdom: We loved this park. Loved it loved it loved it. We did Expedition Everest over and over and declared it the favorite ride of the trip. SO was blown away by the Nemo show and we both loved snapping pics of the animals on the safari ride. However, that night we ran into our first snag.
Post # 8
We ate at Victoria and Albert’s for my birthday (happy 24th to me!!), a ridiculously expensive gourment resteraunt. First let me get this out of way: the food was the best I’ve ever had in my life. If you’re 30+ you should go. If you’re younger or look younger…yeah you should probably stay away because the staff at V+A is very very rude to younger guests.
When we first got there I was wearing a strapless black cocktail dress from Anthropologie. It was sexy but not from the Slut Factory (it’s Anthropologie for Pete’s sake! When was the last time you saw Anthro make slutty?). As soon as we got there our waitress said “oh would you like a shawl it’s very cold in there.” I said no thank you. Then she goes “are you SURE?” and looks pointedly at my boobs. I say no thank you again bc it wasn’t the slightest bit cold and still didn’t get it. She then came back a THIRD TIME to ask if I wanted a shawl. At this point I finally got the hint and just took the friggin shawl, but I was so incredibly embarassed and SO was livid.
Then we ordered the wine pairing and our waiter IDs us. Which was rude enough in its own right (you do NOT ID a couple dropping 500 dollars on dinner, we are not paying that much to drink underage), but THEN the waiter took our IDs and said “oh let me take this to the back where the light is better.” REALLY?? You need to put our IDs under a special light (probably a blacklight) to see if they’re fake? AT A 500 DOLLAR RESTERAUNT??? He was gone for at least 5 minutes “checking” our IDs. For the record, I had just turend 24 that day and SO is 25. We were floored and SO immediately made a note to deduct from his tip.
THEN they came out and said “happy anniversary Mr and Mrs. Peterson.” We had to stop her and tell her we weren’t the Petersons and we were celebrating a birthday not an anniversary. The waitress didn’t apologize, just said ‘oh’ and left to get our correct menus (which are personalized with our names).
Judging from the other guests, we had the slowest and worst service the entire night and I’m sure it’s because we looked so young. SO was planning on giving them a large tip but deducted a huge amount for the snobbery (as he should!). We had far better experiences at Artist Point and Le Ceiler even if the food wasn’t in the same leauge. So for V+A, I would not recommend it even if you’re a foodie if you are or lpok young.
Other than that, yeah, pretty much best trip ever.
Post # 9
I’m also waiting and SO went to Disney World last month- so so so fun!! We ran the wine and dine half marathon at Epcot. I’m glad you had an amazing time!! As for the restaurant thing- I totally get it and it is awful that young people get terrible service at some nice restaurants. I am 25 and SO just turned 29 but we both look younger and deal with this a lot! The crazy thing is my SO graduated from culinary school and they treat us like we don’t know anything about food!! There are some restaurants where we receive good service regardless of our age and we reward those restaurants with our business. I’m sorry your birthday dinner service wasn’t better, but I’m so happy to hear you had an awesome trip!!! <3