(Closed) The Trouble With Bridesmaids Is….. Please Help!

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Members of the wedding party do not usually give gifts.  They already spent money for pre-wedding events and attire, as well as travel and other misc. costs.

Post # 4
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Don’t do anything. It sounds like she spent a lot just to be a part of your wedding. Expecting a gift on top of that sounds…well, bad. 

Post # 6
Member
2058 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

None of my bridesmaids got me engagement gifts at my engagement party so I think that’s normal.  Maybe she felt because she spent a lot of money on your bachelorette party that she couldn’t afford a wedding present? Did she have to travel to your wedding and/or pay for hair, makeup, shoes, or jewelry?  That all can add up!

That being said, it’s sad she didn’t get you a card.  But she does have up to a year after the wedding to get you something! Maybe your gift it’s on its way 🙂

And if not, I don’t think there is anything you can do about it!

Post # 9
Member
1019 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Hm… for what it’s worth my mom n I had an argument about this last night actually. I am of the opinion that the bridal party isn’t expected to gift us anything because they are paying for their attire and what not… My mom is of the opposite opinion. I think it all comes down to peoples personal expectations of their bridal parties.

Our bridal party all gave us smaller things for the engagement party (a card, bottle of wine, one person brought a cake, etc…)and I’m having an out of town bachelorette, so I don’t expect much (or anything) from my girls- especially since they’re paying for their hair/makeup.  That being said, the girls I’m closest to will probably still give us a little something, but with all the time/help/thought they’ve put into everything else for us… I don’t expect it at all. My Fiance is Italian however, and he is pretty sure we’ll be getting cash gifts from his group of friends (even the groomsmen) so (again) I think it depends on the individuals involved.

Post # 10
Member
4439 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

You’re supposed to give gifts at an engagement party?  That is news to me, of course I’ve never attended one.  

What kind of answer are you looking for in this post OP?  Do you want to not be friends with her anymore just because she didn’t get you a wedding gift?  Even if she didn’t pay for very much, she still sacrificed her time which you should be thankful for.

I wouldn’t do anything with this and I wouldn’t consider it a problem.  I’d thank her for standing up with you that day and move on.

Post # 11
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I wouldn’t consider this a problem at all. Also if the jewelry and perfume was worn at your suggestion/request as part of the bridal party attire, I wouldn’t consider it a gift to the bridesmaids. After all, they’d not have needed it if it weren’t for your wedding.

Post # 12
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think it’s kind of weird that you’re tracking it and waiting to get a gift from her and that it bothers you enough to ask about it on here. Being a bridesmaid is expensive – especially when the bride has an out of state bachelorette party. Honestly, I would have felt guilty and insisted they didn’t give gifts if any if my BMs had to buy plane tickets to attend any of my wedding events.

Post # 13
Member
8395 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I wouldn’t do anything. She’s not required to give you a gift. And as other posters have said many people do not feel the bridal party is obligated to give a gift, since they are usually paying for their dress, transport, etc.

Post # 16
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I think what you do in this situtation, is just put it out of your mind. There could be a million reasons she didn’t give you a gift. She was there for you, and very present during your planning. She’s your friend for a reason. Who cares about a stupid gift?

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