(Closed) The ugly details…

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: What would you do with your investments & who is executor of your will?
    Most of my money to my kids : (7 votes)
    11 %
    Most of my money to my spouse : (14 votes)
    22 %
    Split my money even between kids & spouse : (16 votes)
    25 %
    Spouse is executor of my will : (25 votes)
    39 %
    A family member is the executor of my will : (2 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    13010 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Well, right now, my younger brother is the beneficiacy of my life insurance policy.  I had done that before I was dating Fiance, and wanted to make sure he was always taken care of regardless.  Now that he’s over 18 and I’m getting married, I’ll make it Fiance.  Once we have kids, that’ll be another story. 

    I think I’ll set things up like my parents did.  They had an executor (a very close family friend) who were also set up to be our legal guardians if we were under 18.  They had the right to sell anything, but all the proceeds would go to a trust until the last child completed college.  The funds would then be split between myself, my siblings and them (to reimburse them for costs incurred raising three children). 

    I think if you have a spouse, most of it generally gets left to the spouse, since s/he will obviously be taking care of your children and supporting them still.  But there are, of course, a million ways to divide this all up and it’s a lot to think about!

    Post # 4
    9029 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I think leaving more money to the kids is normal IMO. The spouse can always work and make their own money but the kids arent always in a goo position to do that. Plus atleast that way they will be able to go to college if they choose.

    Post # 5
    10571 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    Darling Husband and I don’t have a will.  To be honest, we don’t really see a need for it.  If something happened to one of us, the other would automatically get everything, which is fine by us (of course, I would give some of DH’s things to his family and vice versa).  If something happened to both of us, our families get along and would be able to sort it out.  Right now it’s not like we have a ton of assests.  We may reassess after buying a house or something.  There are no plans for kids right now, but if we had kids I would be more interested in having a will.

    We have assigned successors and beneficiaries on some of our investments.


    Darling Husband has been bugging me to talk to my parents about whether or not they have a will and who is the executor.  I agree with him, but it’s so awkward to bring up (and I don’t live in the same city).  My parents taught me about money to an extent, but when it came to personal finances they were quite private.

    Post # 6
    6009 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    We’re in a transitional phase, but we’re currently working on setting up a family trust, that will bee beneficiary to all of our life insurance, retirement, social security, investment, etc…  The way it will work, I think, is that my husband and I are technically the “trustess,” but should anything happen to both of us, our children will be entitled to everything.  In that case, we’ll set up some kind of clause so that my sister-in-law can preside over the trust until our kids come of age.

    I work in HR and I take care of all the beneficiary paperwork for our employees.  I’d say it’s just as common for our employees to leave everything to a spouse as it is to leave everything to their children.  It really depends on the unique situation, but how your husband has it set up is pretty common, in my experience.

    Post # 7
    245 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2008

    Sad to think about, but very important question…

    Right now we have it set up so that we are eachother’s beneficiaries on all our investments, insurance, etc.  Our will is set up so that if one of us dies, then the other spouse takes over all the finances.

    However if both of us were to die, then his brother becomes executor and our children get everything.  My sisters will become the legal custodians of our children. 

    But we are eachother’s first spouse and we have no children from prior relationships so our situation isn’t as complex.  In your FI’s defense, I would want my kids to have as much of my existing net worth as possible whether I remarried or not.  But in all fairness to you, at the minimum I think it would be wise to for him to reconsider the “small” life insurance policies for each of you, and get added to his pension for sure (which you are already doing). 

    Post # 8
    390 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Im the beneficiary for my Fiance life insurance. I dont have life insurance yet

    Post # 9
    3375 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    100% will go to my husband.

    If both of us die, 100% will go to our (future) children or 50/50 our parents.

    I do believe in passing down wealth though. I believe in giving children their money when they’re 25 so that they can start a business, buy a house etc. If kids are 65 when their parents die, they don’t really need the money anymore.


    Post # 10
    7609 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I don’t have a will yet.  Maybe when we have kids!  I believe I’ve listed my mom as my beneficiary on my bank accounts….but I don’t even know that for sure.

    Post # 14
    1576 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Money is to split between my spouse and Boyfriend or Best Friend. Now if FH and I die together, then it all goes to my Boyfriend or Best Friend. Why? Because I run a cat sanctuary and I can trust my Boyfriend or Best Friend to use the money to keep the sanctuary in operation.

    Post # 15
    1110 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Darling Husband is the beneficiary of my life insurance policy. We don’t have much to our names but as of right now we’ve left everything to each other. We have one child on the way and he has a daughter but I didn’t put her as a beneficiary because I know Darling Husband will make sure a good portion of the money will be spent on her. Once we have more money and assests we will probably divide things up specifically among all the kids in the case that both of us pass. Not that half siblings can’t compromise on these things, but I want to make sure it’s fair and they all get an equal amount without any arguments.

    For now I’m fine with Darling Husband handling the money if I’m gone, I trust him.


    The topic ‘The ugly details…’ is closed to new replies.

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