(Closed) The Ultimatum

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
834 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013 - The front lawn of our church

@fainavach1992:  Coming from someone who waited until the wedding night, I get what you’re saying about wanting to feel like you’re moving forward in the relationship. But, I would be really careful about sex being a motivator in getting married sooner rather than later. I promise, I totally understand how hard it is to wait. But, you dont’ want to hurry up an engagement or marriage that you’re both not sure about because it’s hard to wait to have sex. 


I’m not sure from your post how much of a motivator this is, or if it’s just something you threw out there, but I definitely would be careful to leave that part out of your reasoning process. 


Post # 4
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I feel like it depends on the situation. If there is a reason why he wants to wait to get engaged (like to become more financially stable, get out of school…etc) then he isn’t being selfish in the situation. Did he seem like the 2 year mark timeline was good with him?

I can also feel where you are coming from. When it seems like engagement should be the next step, what takes them so long sometimes!?!? The waiting part is so hard!


Also, I think an ultimatum is more of a “if its not by 2 year, then I will leave”, not “if its not by 2 year, then i will be unhappy and might leave”. He may not take that sort of “maybe-ish” ultimatum seriously.

Post # 6
1400 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@fainavach1992:  things come together in good time sometimes. I get where you’re coming from.. It’s hard to be in a relationship whet you’re celibate and not living with each other, it can feel like a real strugle and make you want to move on to the next stage in the relationship.

But it also means that after a year, you guys might not know each other well enough to get married? I know everyone is different, but maybe that why. Maybe he just needs more time to get to know you, which is totally fair and a good idea for both of you! It doesn’t mean he’s selfish or tryin to do you wrong. Maybe he just needs more information first?

Hang Tight. A year goes by surprisingly quick!

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