Post # 31
Wait. What? He’s posting about his emotional state on social media? What was the context for the hot/cold stuff? Does he know you follow his posts?
Bee, constantly pushing on *anyone* to talk more about feelings when they just don’t want to will never have a good outcome. It feels intrusive.
What is the risk of taking your hands off the wheel for awhile? What if you just let go and see what happens?
Post # 32
Well, you certainly earn the top spot for twisting my words and misquoting me. Don’t get too attached to such a lofty perch.
I’m sure it’s a skill that serves you well.
Post # 33
Honestly, I can see both sides of the arguement here.
sassy411 : Yes, we follow each other, and in his defense, he had fleshed out for me that work is a killer (I’m in a different field now, but I used to work in the same field and can confirm things can get brutal).
After stepping back, getting into the holiday season with friends and family, and enjoying my hobbies it kinda game me some perspective that I might’ve read into his attitude too much. I think it’s imporant to note and address shifts, but it’s also important to stay calm and give space.
Since his break has started, he’s been a bit more chatty without me saying anything about it, interested in what I’ve been up to. I mentioned wanting to talk about a couple things once we meet up and he was receptive and positive.
Basically, I leaned back a bit, but let him know I was around and he seems to be easing back into his usual self.
I agree with a relationship just being another part of your life, so it’s been a good lesson to be avaliable and positive but not read too much into the other person’s moods (because it might not be about you!)
Post # 35
Shooting out some more thanks for the advice!
We had a wonderful holiday and enjoyed time with friends and family thoroughly. We discussed our relationship and the concerns we both have over a series of serious but lighthearted conversations. He was actually warmer and more jovial than I expected (but still very much in line with his personality). Turns out the end of the work year was honestly a killer and he really needed the break.
We discussed a major trip we’re going to take and went over plans for closing the gap in the summer. He’s super excited about the first and a little nervous about the second but is receptive to planning carefully together.
Post # 36
Here is my two cents. There always comes a time where a relationship settles down a bit. it’s kind of the turning point where you figure out if once the shine and polish of a new relationship wears off, you’re compatible. Pair that with long distance and I can see how you would feel the way you do. It may just be that him not texting all day is more his real self. It also could be that the relationship has run it’s course. LDR can last longer sometimes because it takes longer for real issues to surface. That being said, if you’re not getting what you need from him, it’s up to you how to proceed. Insecurities on either side are killers oof long distance because being so far away, you only show what you want and you only see what he wants you to see. Bottom line, if you push him, it may not go the way you want it to. I definitely wouldn’t push any issues until you’re in person with him. There’s nothing you can do though if he’s feeling like it’s not working for him and he’s not willing to talk to you to work it out.