The uncertainty stage?

posted 1 month ago in Relationships
  • poll: What should I do?
    Lean back and wait for him to initiate; don’t discuss relationship concerns : (5 votes)
    16 %
    Try to increase communication; don’t discuss relationship concerns : (2 votes)
    6 %
    Wait until you meet and ask about the relationship : (17 votes)
    53 %
    Ask about the relationship the next time you two talk : (8 votes)
    25 %
  • Post # 31
    Member
    11140 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

    oranges007 :  

    Wait.  What?  He’s posting about his emotional state on social media?  What was the context for the hot/cold stuff?  Does he know you follow his posts?

    Bee, constantly pushing on *anyone* to talk more about feelings when they just don’t want to will never have a good outcome.  It feels intrusive.

    What is the risk of taking your hands off the wheel for awhile?  What if you just let go and see what happens?

    Post # 32
    Member
    11140 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

    emilyofnewmoon :  

    Well, you certainly earn the top spot for twisting my words and misquoting me.  Don’t get too attached to such a lofty perch.

    I’m sure it’s a skill that serves you well.

    Post # 36
    Member
    152 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: February 2020

    Here is my two cents.  There always comes a time where a relationship settles down a bit.  it’s kind of the turning point where you figure out if once the shine and polish of a new relationship wears off, you’re compatible.  Pair that with long distance and I can see how you would feel the way you do.  It may just be that him not texting all day is more his real self.  It also could be that the relationship has run it’s course.  LDR can last longer sometimes because it takes longer for real issues to surface.  That being said, if you’re not getting what you need from him, it’s up to you how to proceed.  Insecurities on either side are killers oof long distance because being so far away, you only show what you want and you only see what he wants you to see.  Bottom line, if you push him, it may not go the way you want it to.  I definitely wouldn’t push any issues until you’re in person with him.  There’s nothing you can do though if he’s feeling like it’s not working for him and he’s not willing to talk to you to work it out.  

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