- 8 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
If you explain how you’re feeling vulnerable it will help him understand where you’re coming from. And will melt his heart – always a good thing. 😉
Yeah, yeah… guys are dumb but that’s why they have us to make them better people! I’d wait until I wasn’t PMSing and try to have a calm conversation with him about it. HA! No, that’s what I think YOU should do. What I would do is end up saying “You know how you like to make jokes when I’m being sexy? It turns me off. Keep doing it & no more sexy… or sex for that matter.”
Wow, that must be so hurtful for you to hear! I would be really upset if everytime I was being all sexy, DH made a joke. I remember that when we first started dating, DH would make jokes at my expense (which is something he grew up with), but within 6 months, I broke him of that habit.
I think what your coworker said about your guy being hung up on his weight gain, etc, might have something to do with this too. If I were you, every time he does this, I would tell him exactly how crappy his statements made you feel.
i totally get that. my SO has done some things like that and about a month ago asked why i don’t buy/wear as much lingerie as i used to.
i told him that it’s not fun to do anymore because his dumb comments (or none at all) just make me feel self conscious so why on earth would i spend money putting myself ‘out there’ FOR him?
he’s been better since then – we joke around a lot too but i needed to tell him that any jokes about appearance etc or something that would make me feel insecure is not cool.
I dont know, i wouldn’t be uset. LEt me tell you a conversation i had with Fiance yesterday. We were talking about babies looking like their dads when they are first born. I said:
“Gosh i hope our kids dont get your ears.”
Fiance glares at me. “That was mean. Well i hope our kids dont have your ass.”
I laughed, “Honestly hun i hope they dont have my ass either!”
And then we both laughed and Fiance said he liked that we could laugh about those things and not take offense. Dont take it personal.
I would calmly sit your bf down and explain to him that when he makes fun of you while you are being vulnerable/sexy/naked/whatever, it turns you off. Turning you off = no sexy time for him. So it’s his choice if he’d rather be funny or get laid. I think that would get the point across to most dudes 😉
Ok, I’m going to be the somewhat dissenting voice here and say that if you make fun of each other constantly, INCLUDING appearance, you can’t reasonably expect him to know which parts are ok to tease you about and which aren’t. That’s not fair. He’s not a mind reader, and when you tell him it’s ok to tease you about some things sometimes but not other things some of the time, you can’t expect him to keep track. If you’re going to make certain topics off limits for teasing, that’s fine! My fiance and I make fun of each other all the time, and we have a couple things that are off limits. The key is to be consistent about it. Once something is no longer up for teasing with you, then you don’t get to tease him about it. Nor do you get to sometimes be ok with it. Otherwise, he’ll be just as confused as he is right now.
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