(Closed) The UnFunny Joke.

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 33
2375 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

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@badabing88:  I think he’s not taking it seriously because he doesn’t understand how much it hurts you.  He’s feeling self conscious about his own weight, and he assumes you don’t have that insecurity.  Just because you’ve told him that it pisses you off doesn’t mean that he gets it.  If it seriously bothers you, I wouldn’t text or write.  I’d sit down and actually talk.  Tell him how it makes you feel.  Ask him how he’d feel if you started calling him your fat piggy every time you saw him looking in the mirror.  Hopefully that’ll get the point across.

Post # 34
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Geez! Rude much! Maybe a month from now ask him to take pic of his penis and when he sends them to you tell him: “oh! it looks huge! are you sure it’s yours?”

Let him see how it feels.

Post # 35
57 posts
Worker bee

I absolutely hate it when a joke is made at my expense, especially at a time when you are trying to be sexy….. Really takes a stab right at the heart of your self-esteem.  If I were you, next time you happen to see him in his undies I would snap a picture of him with your phone and be very obvious about it.  When he asks why you took a picture of him, just stare at the picture on your phone and then say “Wow things look a little big in this picture, are you sure it’s YOU?”…….


Post # 36
3828 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

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@badabing88:  Ya i get that. Sometimes its just too much. Sometimes you just arent in the mood for fun and games. So i would just tell him that. 

Honestly i have told my Fiance that a million times so i get it lol. Its hard to tell when its time for a joke and when its not. Take practice. 

Post # 38
11736 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

it probablly  made him uncomfortable/nervous since it’s outside of your normal realm of behavior so he probably didn’t know how to react. So, like most people when they’re uncomfortable they make a joke of it. My husband would likely do the same exact thing – it’s just who we are. IF I did something like that it just wouldn’t be typical of me/us so it’d turn into a big joke.  Albeit, your bfs joke wasn’t really a joke at all but boys are dumb! 


Post # 39
1360 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I would be passive aggressive as fuck lol I would buy the sexiest outfit I could find but that can still be worn under clothes. without being noticeable. Plan a girls night, put it on with a robe on top of it so he sees it its just a peak and do my nails, put cream on, my makeup and hair, get ready and walk out the door looking HOT. If he says something trying to be all badass just look at him with big innocent eyes and say “you think this is for you? no no sweety i know you’re not a fan, i heard that wearing sexy undies is good for your confidence and honestly mine needed a little boost so i bought it for myself, doesnt it look good? having a girls night, be back at around 11 (or whatever) if you need anything call ok babe? love you!” and walk out the door and have a good time. He’ll probably go through the stages of grief for being an idiot since you will look hot and he will not be benefiting from it and he will know (unless he’s a moron) that your confidence needed a boost because of him. When you get back, change into sweat pants and a t shirt. if he asks why ypu’re not keeping it on be blunt and say, well you laugh at me, why would i want to keep it on? 




Or i would probably just cry cry cry and tell him he hurt my feelings and pms the shit out of the whole situation 

Because talking about it obviously hasnt you know, broken the habit.

Post # 40
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018


I think it’s funny.  I probably would have cursed at him in a different language (which I only do when I’m jokingly upset) or said something snarky.

Don’t get me wrong of course my fiance says things that are meant to be a joke and it hurts but it’s never on purpose.  I’m sure there are things that I say jokingly that hurts him to.  We all make mistakes.  I’m sure you also do the same to him without even realizing it.

Post # 41
1497 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Yes, he was being a guy, but guys can be totally stupid! You have every right to be upset, I would be too.

I’d send a picture of myself in oversize sweats, gorging on a pint of ice cream, and say, “Since you obviously don’t appreciate my sexy lingerie and pictures, this is what you get. I will not make any more effort to be sexy for you.”

Or you can write the letter 😉

Post # 42
1654 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

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@badabing88:  Wow that sucks. I would probably do it right back to him.

“Hun, I think you’ve been eating a bit too many bagels…”


“It may just be me but it seems like you’ve gained 20 pounds since we first met.”

Fiance used to do that to me (and bear in mind he hasn’t really seen many better looking girls than me, and has only been intimate with me and no one else), and it made me feel like utter sh*t. It does really hurt. So I hope your man cuts it out.

Post # 44
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@badabing88:  He is being a major asshole. Anyone who says, “Boys will be boys” – don’t listen to that. No, that’s not how all boys are, and I’m so sorry that your Fiance is acting that way. 

Truthfully, my ex did things like that too when I tried to impress him with lingerie. It’s one of the reasons he’s my ex. 

Honestly, based on how he acts when you’re at home, I think you guys need to have a serious conversation about it. He may be too thick to realize why it hurts your feelings the way it does. It’s got to change, though; you don’t want to end up never getting in on because he doesn’t make you feel sexy. It doesn’t end well. 🙁 

And, yes – I think writing him a letter (or talking to him) is WELL worth your time. 

Post # 45
407 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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@mamadingdong:  +1  Jokes that make you feel unsexy can be bad for the long term.

Post # 46
1352 posts
Bumble bee

My SO said something like that once while I was having intense PMS. I TOTALLY overreacted and freaked out and was furious. I apologised the next day, but he never did it again. Problem solved. Not that I suggest going into crazy bitch mode, but if it really bothers you, find a way to get your point across.

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