(Closed) The unhappy wife

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Whoah… it’s kind of difficult for me to decipher what’s really going on here. I mean, obviously there are some huge issues, but it’s tough to say where it’s coming from. You mentioned the phrase “escape plan”… is there abuse happening? I guess I would consider the rudeness toward you around company and the supposed “manipulation” to be emotionally abusive, but I just feel like I would need to hear details of what you mean by that to say one way or another.

Honestly, it sounds like you were never ready for marriage (or children for that matter) in the first place. Was it a shotgun wedding kind of deal? Or did you rush into it in any way? I’m just wondering how much these feelings of resentment toward him are on you and your issues with your own independence/ loss of freedom, versus how much they’re on him and his contribution or lack thereof in the marriage. I will say it’s pretty messed up of him to go and shack up with a girl the second you split up. I’m sure that was pretty damaging, but then again it’s kind of a two way street since it sounds like you immediately went and found someone else as well.

I guess I just would like some more concrete details about the whole situation to make a judgement call and offer you advice. I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time and an unhappy marriage.

Post # 4
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

It’s very sad to read that you regret having your children and wish you had never had them. That’s truly just awful to read. Unhappy marriage or not, I hope you never ever EVER let them know you’ve said that.

If you’re not happy, work hard, get an apartment, file for divorce and move on with your life.

Post # 6
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Forgive me if I’m way out of line, but this smells of trolling. First post. No mention of previous involvement of the boards. Dramatic posts about the woes of marriage?

I feel that this online forum is not an appropriate setting for this discussion.

Post # 7
Member
5106 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@MissShork: Yeah, I didn’t say it out loud, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t think it….

Post # 8
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@KatyElle: Yeah… I didn’t quite absorb how awful that statement was until after I wrote my post. Pretty sad, and I definitely also hope that OP never expresses similar sentiments around the kids. Although if that’s how she really feels, they probably already know. Just horrible.

Post # 9
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee

Do everyone a favor and just get a divorce. You clearly hate each other.

Post # 10
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@MissShork: The thought crossed my mind, I mean, what is someone that miserable in a marriage doing looking around for wedding sites to post on? But, sadly the story doesn’t sound all that uncommon, you know?

Post # 11
Member
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Get out of the relationship, you deserve it and your children deserve a happy mother. 

They will thank you for it and down the road you’ll be happy with your decission, there is no point in staying in this relationship, even for the sake of the kids, it will probably just get worse and coming from a broken family I did not appreciate my mother stringing herself along for almost her entire marriage and through having four children, it is not worth it. 

You are still young, get a divorce, a job, an apartment, you’re strong and capable.  

You will be an example to your children, and show that man that you are not weak and don’t need to put up with his BS. 

Just my two cents worth. 

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