- 9 months ago
- Wedding: Fireman’s Pavillion
Bees I’ve kinda had a strange realization after having a conversation with one of my bridesmaids. (You can skip the explanation and head to the last paragraph for my question, it’s a tad lengthy.)
I had two really close best friends in high school (we’ll call them friend A and friend B). All three of us were incredibly close. However, after high school, life kinda took us all in different directions. I started traveling around for school and my career. Friend A went to the military. Friend B went to a local college and still lives in our hometown.
Over the years life’s gone on and we all don’t talk as often as we used to. Friend A and I have kept contact over the past 6 years, we still try to get together when we’re both nearby, we congratulate each other on life accomplishments (in private) etc. Friend B has not kept contact (I’ve tried to reach out to her as a friend, to hire her for work, to help her with school work, etc). I was home for two years and was not contacted once to see her (even when I messaged her saying we should hang out). When a big events happens in her other friends lives, there’s huge long social media posts about how she’s so happy for them and that their friendship is so important to her. Both friend A and I asked if I did anything to upset or anger her, she’s told us both no. So I took the hint over the 6 years that she doesn’t want to be a part of my life and she doesn’t value our friendship.
I got engaged a few months ago and knew right away who was in my bridal party. Of course, Friend A is in the bridal party. One day, Friend A and B hung out together (I was away for work at the time) when friend A had accidentally blurted that my bridal party was set. Friend B is now irritated that she is not in the bridal party (friend A stood up for me and explained my decision, as it’s a conversation we’ve had).
Friend B is completely pissed at not being in the bridal party. I can’t imagine how angry she’s going to be about not being invited. It’s not a me being bitter at her thing. My original wedding plan was a small elopement with no one present. Now it’s going to be an intimate affair with just immediate family and a couple close friends. Perhaps I’m in the wrong by some social convention. However, in my eyes I believe I’m justified in not inviting her at all. I’m just a little surprised she feels so hurt not being in the bridal party given the circumstances
So I guess my question is: what’s a polite way of telling people they’re not invited to the wedding? My wedding isn’t going to be the party of the year or anything like that, but maybe certain individuals I’m not aware of might be set on getting an invite and will be upset when they’re not. I don’t want to be rude and cold, but at the same time I want to keep my event small, intimate, and full of people who have an active role in our lives. Thanks bees!