The uninvited guest dilemma talk

posted 6 months ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
1142 posts
Bumble bee

Unless she asks you specifically “am I invited” or “why am I not invited”, there’s no reason to go out of your way to tell someone they’re not invited, that’s pretty rude. 

If she does ask though, you can simply state what you’ve said here, you’re only having a small do with immediate family and a few friends. She should get the hint that she clearly didn’t make the cut for the friend list.

She can be pissed all she wants, reality is she’s not really in your life anymore, there isn’t a friendship to be maintained, and her being mad at you doesn’t impact you in any real way.

Post # 3
Member
4102 posts
Honey bee

As PP pointed out, its rude to pre-emptively tell people they aren’t invited to your party.  I would also keep low-key and refrain from much discussion about your wedding in front of people who aren’t invited. (That’s also a lesson it would behoove your bridesmaid to learn – don’t gossip or otherwise discuss things other people aren’t going to be a part of in front of them, particularly when it isn’t your own “thing” in the first place.)

I’m not sure why you are overly concerned about someone you claim who has ignored every attempt at contact you made for the last 6 years, but if (and only if) she or anyone else asks, then you simply say you are having a small intimate wedding and unable to invite everyone in your life.

Post # 4
Member
205 posts
Helper bee

willowrose15 :  Just tell them you’re having a small wedding and had to make hard choices. When she responds that “one more wont hurt” you can say  “sorry we had to make the cut somewhere.”

Post # 5
Member
640 posts
Busy bee

She’s barley spoken to you in 6 years and assumed she would be in your bridal party? Just continue not speaking to her and hope she goes away. If she decides to completely end the friendship with you because of it, would your life be affected greatly? Doesn’t seem like it. 

Post # 6
Member
948 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Honestly, why do you care? You’re not friends with this person anymore and never spend time together. Let her think whatever she wants and don’t worry about it.

If she asks you directly whether she’s invited to the wedding, you don’t need to justify your decision based on the number of guests or anything else. Just tell her the truth: you’ve drifted apart over the years.

Post # 7
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2019

She hasn’t responded to any of your attempts to stay in contact for the past 6 years and still expected to be a bridesmaid? I’d ignore her just as she’s ignored you. 

If she asks if she’s invited I would just tell her “sorry we’re having a small intimate wedding”.

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