(Closed) The veil debacle. Wear one for mom even though I’m not a fan?

posted 8 years ago in Accessories
  • poll: What would you do?
    Wear the veil. She's your mom and it's important to her. : (9 votes)
    32 %
    No veil. You clearly don't want to and it's your day. : (16 votes)
    57 %
    Other... : (3 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    321 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    What I’d do, is wear the veil for the ceremony and take it off and wear what you want to for the reception. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    5789 posts
    Bee Keeper

    If its important to you to make her happy, just get a simple one layered sheer one to your fingertips and wear it for your ceremony. They are so sheer it will feel like you have nothing on.

    Post # 5
    Member
    4485 posts
    Honey bee

    If a veil isn’t your style, don’t wear one just to please other people. As your mom, she should be able to accept that you two have different styles and tastes.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1016 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2018

    I too never saw myself as a veil wearing bride. My fiance is suprisingly traditional when it comes to weddings, and would be very upset if i didnt have one. So we came to a comprimise, i will wear a veil to the church and then take it off for the reception…mabey you could do the same, wear one for your ceremony then wear what you want for the reception or vice versa?

    Post # 7
    Bee
    6474 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011 - Sydney, Australia

    I definitely wouldn’t compromise if it’s not YOU.

    That being said, if you find one that you quite like the look of, you can certainly just wear it for the ceremony and switch to your headpiece after that? 🙂

    Post # 8
    Member
    5110 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 2011

    If its important to her wear one… If you are really opposed to it or you really dont feel like its your syle, try to include her in your shopping for your non veil headpiece, just so she feels like she is involved. Or maybe if she has a broach or something you like you could make it into a headpiece for your wedding so its a piece of her for  you on your wedding day.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1679 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    We have a family veil. I don’t love it ( for my dress….it’s a gorgeous, lace mantilla that doesn’t go with my dress) but I told my mother that I’d wear it for the ceremony to make my aunts happy. Come to find out that my aunts aren’t all that wrapped up in it, so I’m off the hook.

    For 30 minutes, it didn’t seem like a big deal.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2299 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    you seem like you’re really against wearing one, so don’t. Have you tried any on though? maybe you’ll surprise yourself and really like it:) Or just wear a simple one for the ceremony. But don’t do anything you don’t want to!

    Post # 11
    Member
    655 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I agree with some PP about wearing a very simple veil for the ceremony, and taking it off for the reception. And I have seen plenty of awesome floral headpieces that look good both with and without a veil, so you can have the best of both worlds!

    Post # 12
    Member
    1869 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I feel the same way.  My mom thinks I MUST wear one, but I really don’t like them.  I’ll probably wear it for the ceremony and then take it off for the reception.  OR I’m getting the skinniest one I can find. hahaha!

    Post # 13
    Member
    353 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Think carefully about what YOU want. Remember, it’s your wedding and not your mum’s 🙂

    Post # 14
    Member
    658 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I think, if you find one you like and are comfortable wearing then you could wear it for the ceremony and then change to said “funky floral headpiece” for the reception. If you can’t find one you can live with, you might just have to skip the veil and hope Mom understands. I understand wanting to make Mom happy though. Compromise and Family are tough in real like, huh? Especially when you have such a good heart! Wink

    Post # 15
    Member
    1690 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    on my first marriage all i wanted to do was wear a smart suit and go to the registry office to get married,  but speaking to my mum,  that changed ….a LOT.  so i agreed to marry in a church for her sake…..BUT i will not wear white……

    anyway ,  on my wedding day i did indeed wear white,  and a veil,  and in church.  and although these wasn’t my original ideas,  i did grow to like the idea, and  i loved the dress and everything else, and i was happy because i made my mum happy without having to compromise/sacrifice a whole lot……a white dress instead of a smart suit……well the dress was gorgeous and mum cried with happiness. 

    i hear on WB  all the time,  brides saying to other brides…..”you only get one day”,  and while this is very true,  i myself made my mum happy,  and with that i was happy too.  i obviously wouldnt wear something pretty awful  JUST  to make my mum happy…..but there can be compromise….like PPs  have said, maybe wear it for the ceremony and remove it for the reception….both happy. 

    i never once regretted the decisions i made for my wedding, but if i had ignored her wishes and gone with the smart suit,   i think i would have regretted that, knowing that my mum was disappointed.  

    i am due to marry again next August,  and my daughter is now giving me suggestions…….some i have taken on board, some i havent. 

     

    Post # 16
    Member
    4505 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Only wear a veil if you find one that you really like. That sucker’s going to be in all your pictures–if you don’t like it, it’s going to bug you. 

     

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