- 8 years ago
I feel so relieved and I feel so much more relaxed. My SO finally gave me a solid timeline last night. Even though it’s not the timeline I was hoping for, I am surprised at how much more relaxed it has made me feel. I also feel like I can stop bugging him now about getting engaged, which is a plus for him. (I had cut way back on bringing up engagement and marriage, but I was still slipping up every now and then.)
Last night I even managed to get him to go to Shane Co. with me to look at rings! I had previously gone on my own and picked out two, so I tried those on again. Turns out if my SO had picked out a ring on his own, it would’ve been COMPLETELY different from the rings that I like. He likes the plain solid platinum bands that curve to interlock with a wedding band. I thought some were just ugly and that they were all mostly boring. I liked the rings that had smaller diamonds along the band. So I tried on a few more rings and completely threw out my first two choices that I had previously picked. SO wanted me to get a band in platinum and my top choice had been in white gold, so I found something similar in platinum and actually liked it way better. Here’s my chosen ring:
It was kind of awkward being in the jewelry store together because the sales guy kept asking questions like, “so when’s the date” and “what’s the budget”. But it went really well and SO didn’t seem to mind being there. He had the associate write down which ring I picked and he took a copy of the sheet home with him. He told me that I should go again on my own to try on a few more rings because he thought I was too indecisive and he wanted me to make sure I pick something I really like (even though I’m pretty sure I’m set on the ring shown above).
So after we got home we later ended up in a conversation about a timeline. I forget how it got brought up, but basically I had thought that he was going to propose by the end of this year based off of something he had said a few months ago. He told me that he felt really overwhelmed and stressed because November/December is right around the corner and he had never meant to propose by then. I told him that it would majorly help me then to at least have some sort of timeline and he was all, “Oh, that’s all you want?! Well sure, I can give you a date that it will be done by then.” I felt kind of shocked like, “For real? Besides an actual proposal, having a timeline is all I’ve ever wanted all along.” It really helps not feeling like a proposal might not come until, oh, FOREVER. So he told me, how about the end of next year? At first I felt totally bummed, because that feels very far away, but then I quoted that Evan Marc Katz article ( http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-long-should-i-wait-for-a-real-commitment/2/ ) that another bee posted about a week ago and how it talks about how a guy should know if he’s gonna marry the girl or not by the 3 year anniversary. So he agreed to having the proposal done by our 3 year anniversary (which is August 20, 2011).
Now I had been hoping to have our wedding around 8/20/11, but I have realized over the last few months that he just won’t be ready to get married then. So I’m happy that I’ll at least be engaged by then and probably then plan the wedding for Summer of 2012. I used to feel like getting married in 2012 would be the end of the world, but I feel sooooo much better about it now. I finally have a timeline and a plan!