Post # 1
Hello ladies! I’m a newBEE 😉 I want to tell my situation and just express my thoughts and hopefully get some advice and encouragement!
My Boyfriend or Best Friend and I have talked extensively about marriage and our life together. It doesn’t come off as “if” its always “when” and that is one thing I feel good about with our relationship. We have talked about a timeline (I wanted one and he thought it would take away from it) but he gave me one anyways and said within a year.
We travel a lot and plan our vacations well in advance, so because we planned 2 rather large vacations for 2011 there isnt a lot of vacation time left for me (honeymoon!) and so I brought that up. We decided that we would get married in the fall of 2011 and use the vacation we had planned to Greece and Italy as our honeymoon. So about 2 weeks ago he asked if I wanted to go look at rings so he could get some ideas. We did and found 2 styles that I LOVE! I told him he could decide between the 2 so that it would still have his input and surprise me. He makes comments ALL THE TIME about us being together forever, getting married, we’ve talked about our kids names even! He told me the other day to tell his future in laws hello! Also for my birthday my parents gave me a pretty necklace and he asked if they had matching earrings…I jokinly said “yes they do, I also hear they have really pretty rings that would go AWESOME! 🙂 ” and he laughed and said “We will have to put one on your finger then!” All of this is good good good! So I’ve been getting excited and thinking its gotta be coming soon, by the end of the year at a least.
Well I found out yesterday that I have to give a 60 day notice if I decide not to renew my lease at the end of December. We have said that we wouldnt live together unless we were engaged. I mention to him the issue of having to let them know by Oct 31st and he said “But the lease doesn’t end until Dec?” and I explained the situation….and he said “You can renew for just 6 months right?” and I said I would check into it and tried to drop the subject. I was so let down and I didnt want him to pick up on it and feel pressured. To me, him asking about adding the 6 month lease means he doesnt plan to propose until after the new year. 🙁
So last night I asked him what he thought about people living together before getting married and he said he always wanted to live together first but that he wanted to be engaged. I told him that I agreed but that I felt like it was awkward with my lease ending and that being tied to being engaged. He agreed and said that it did kind of pressure him and he understands that when he “pops the question” is on my mind when making those choices about moving. He said he didnt want to give anything away and he thought by giving his opinion on how to go about moving that it would take away from it. He also said that he knows when he wants to propose and has a pretty good idea of how and that getting engaged is a big thing for us in our life together and he wants it to be a complete surprise.
Here is the other component. We are planning our first trip for 2011 to Irelend in either late March or mid April. I think maybe thats when he would ask??? But to me that seems SOOOO obvious! Im going crazy already! I felt better with him saying he had a good idea of when he was going to do it, but I cant shake the feeling of knowing we have all these holidays coming up (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Valentines Day…” and that I will be anxious through them all knowing he PROBABLY wont do it yet but still being hopeful!
What do you think hunniebees???! 🙂 <3
Post # 3
I am a newBEE too 🙂 And from what I’ve learned from all the other bees is to enjoy your time with your SO! It’s good to be hopeful, but don’t think about it too much 🙂
Post # 4
oh hunny! I too am so depressed with the thought of all those holidays coming up and no ring… eeeek! I hope sooo much that it will be here by Christmas! I’ve always wanted to have an “engaged Christmas” because we’ll be married by christmas 2011. ughhh
Post # 5
@MissBuffalo: Ditto! As much as I know we have to move on our own timeline, the thought of going thru all of those holidays AND the New Year (this will be our 5TH TIME going thru all of this together!) without being engaged kind of makes me sad. I know I need to just enjoy the time but it just seems like that is the season of a million engagements and I don’t want to come out of it not engaged.
Post # 6
Welcome to the Bee!
It sounds like your guy is working on things, but really wants you to be surprised. I don’t think it’s the worst thing in the world if you can renew your lease for less than a year. It’s possible you’ll be engaged by the end of 2010, but maybe not by October when you need to give notice.
I know how you feel about thinking every situation is going to be a proposal situation. My guy is supposed to ask by the end of October (formerly he said the end of September!!) so his time is running out and basically I think about every weekend – this could be it! Just try try to enjoy your time. Your guy sounds sweet and I don’t think he needs any prodding to propose. Maybe it will be sooner than you think!
Post # 7
@yellowlinedpage: Yes! I definitely want to have a ring on my finger when we visit his family for Christmas.
Post # 8
In regards to your living situation, do what feels right, not what everyone else expects. You love this man he loves you, what’s the problem? For the holidays with no ring, you always have your MAN!! A tleast your not alone for the Holidays and in Waiting
Post # 9
At least you know it’s coming, and pretty soon! That’s exciting! I know how it feels to get all excited for each potential proposal occasion. It’s tough! Welcome to the hive; it’s a good place to help you cope with all the ups and downs of waiting.
Post # 10
@artichokey Yup I feel the same way. I’m even debating not going for Thanksgiving (in addition to christmas) if there is no ring. If he wants me to act like a daughter-in-law constantly, I’m going to need a ring.
Pretty, pretty please?
Post # 11
Thanks ladies! Just reading all of the posts has made me feel a little better. Knowing there are others out there going through the same thing is such a comfort! We can all help each other get through the waiting!!
@MissBuffalo-I know!! I thought about that too! I would love for us to be engaged during the holidays because next year we will be married by then!
@PinkBubbleGum-I didn’t even think about the fact that just because I sign another lease doesn’t mean that he isn’t going to propose by the end of the year! Maybe he said that to throw me off? I’m sure it will work out just fine…waiting and anticipating are just annoying sometimes!
@7mom-That is a great point! I was thinking about that today after I wrote this post. I am so very thankful to have such a wonder man that wants to marry me and talks about it often. I just get so excited!!! So that makes me a tad impatient at times. 🙂
Finding this site was a God send! It gives me an outlet which helps me perk up and not bring things up to my BF!
UPDATE: He texted me today while im at work saying that he cant stop thinking about Christmas, so I asked him what about it….and he said “Us spending it together….decorating, doing holiday things together and the atmosphere.” It made me smile knowing hes happy about those things! But its also things like that that get my hopes up and get me planning in my head before there is a ring on my finger! hehehe
Post # 12
Welcome to the Hive! I am a newbee myself and I’m on the “waiting list” as well with a few other ladies who have responded to your board. They have all responded to mine too so I think we have a mini sorority going on. LOL. But I know it frustrating waiting for the “moment”. Yesterday I could not even spend a quality day with my FH because he asked me to go with him to an engagement party next weekend for one of his friends/coworkers. I was like uuuugggghhh. I don’t really want to go because their happiness is only going to depress me. I know that’s bad. I am happy for them and I love to see people in love, etc. It just sucks because I am having to wait. Oh and did I mention they had only been together for 6 months before the guy proposed and my guy and I just made 3 years. Ugh! I also am eyeballing ALL of the upcoming holidays. My bday is next month, followed by Thanksgiving, New Years, and Christmas.
@MissBuffalo OMG! I am soooo feeling the same way. If I don’t have the ring by Thanksgiving and/or Christmas then I AM NOT going with him to be around his family. I just feel like been there and done that. Enough already. We always try to split the holidays (one with my family and one with his). But I am so not up for that this year with no ring. It makes my stomach turn just thinking about it.