The waiting begins…

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Nothing wrong with looking forward to a wonderful lifetime together or dreaming of an amazing wedding. It sounds like he too is looking forward to all of that.  Congratulations!

As time passes and you feel even more antsy, communicate to him in a mature way, how you are feeling and get a pulse of where things are. But no nagging or growing resentful. That will serve you no purpose.

It might help for you to journal your feelings about this when you feel overwhelmed or just come talk to us.laughing

Also, while you’re planning your fantasy wedding in your head…. i would encourage you to stay grounded in reality. Work on the health of your relationship and work toward your personal goals. It’s going to help grow and refine you as a person and when the engagement finally happens and the wedding plannning begins, you’re going to be even more ready to be a fabulous wife because you cultivated all parts of yourself… and not just the ‘wedding planner’ in your head.

  Bottomline, dont get too carried away in planning a wedding when you’re not yet engaged. No harm in looking around and making notes of what you like but dont go all cray cray and buy a gown or reserve a venue lol!

 

Post # 3
Member
4830 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

kiaradee :   Tossing around general ideas and researching various elements of a wedding can be helpful when the time comes.   But please be aware that the wedding will reflect BOTH of you, and will be based on joint decisions.   If he is in school I would guess his priority is studying, and that he will enjoy planning with you when the time is appropriate.

 

Post # 4
Member
1012 posts
Bumble bee

My guy and I talk about what kind of wedding we want, what it would look like, etc sometimes, and I’m waiting. It’s totally okay, as long as you’re not getting too obsessed with it! 

Enjoy this time – it’s low pressure, before all the planning begins πŸ™‚

Post # 5
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

I’m waiting and I have been planning on my head for a long time now. Some of it I have mentioned to my bf and others I haven’t. I have a list of songs for the wedding in mind, I know I want a winter wedding, I have a list of possible venues… Etc. I used to have a pinterest board too, but I actually just deleted it though because I feel like I was planning too much. I don’t want that to be my focus while waiting, I want to enjoy this time with my bf before we get engaged and the planning monster in me takes over. 

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with planning but don’t let it take over your mind too much so that you aren’t enjoying your relationship. 

Post # 7
Member
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I know exactly what you mean! Once that first thought of “I am ready to be engaged and get married” hits your brain, you will never stop thinking about it! I was in this state for about a year. I obsessed over it and constantly brought it up, let it upset me that it hadn’t happened yet, and planned a complete wedding in the ‘notes’ app on my phone, LOL! I was going crazy! My SO just wasn’t on the same timeline as me then. Fast forward to this Fall and we are both now on the same page and I am officially waiting for a proposal in what he says will be the next six months! What got me through hard times was learning to have open communication with my SO. For awhile, I took the route of being silent and it eventually led to feelings of resentment toward him. I was short with him and easy to snap, which doesn’t exactly thrill someone up to the idea of marrying you when you’re like that. So my advice to you is openly communicate with him about your feelings, don’t let them build up! After all you are in this together πŸ™‚ Talk about a timeline with him that way he can put your feelings at ease and you can relax and continue to grow your relationship. 

 

I would walk him backwards through your ideal timeline. “I would love to be engaged by 2019, and I need at least one year to plan..so would you be on the same page with me for a 2018 engagement?” Or if you want a longer engagement and time to just enjoy that part of your relationship and plenty of time to plan and save..maybe a 2017 engagement.

 

good luck to you, bee. if you ever find yourself deep in your thoughts and getting upset, feel free to reach out to me! i would be happy to help!

Post # 9
Member
74 posts
Worker bee

KayDeeSee :  I am so happy to hear it worked out for you bee. I am in the boat you were in one year ago and it is great to hear it all went according to plan. πŸ™‚ Congratz on your engagement it sounds like you have a great & devoted man. Welcome back. xox

Post # 10
Member
337 posts
Helper bee

Congratulations KayDeeSee.  πŸ™‚ Glad it all worked out for you.  πŸ˜€ 

Post # 12
Member
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

KayDeeSee :  YAY! πŸ™‚ I am engaged now too! 7 more months till our big day! Congrats, Bee πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

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