(Closed) “The Waiting Cycle”….for your reference

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
2714 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I know it’s been said before, but I really need to say that this is just SPOT ON. I’m glad I wasn’t the only one feeling this way, because I went through this cycle many times. I seemed to go through each “phase” once a month for about a year. It’s so frustrating, but again…. it’s good to know that other people feel this way and I’m not completely insane!!!

Post # 4
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Oh, Thanks! I referenced this earlier today but I couldn’t find the thread. 

Post # 5
Member
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@PinkBubbleGum: DITTO!

I love this post because I have remembered this cycle and couldn’t remember where it was. I think about it on a daily basis to help keep me sane. Thanks for posting it separately! Smile

Post # 6
Member
2309 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

This is enlightening.

Post # 7
Member
442 posts
Helper bee

I agree, Dreamingbee this is very helpful!  Thank you for posting something which makes us feel a little less alone in this process.  Thanks!

Post # 8
Member
302 posts
Helper bee

I have been though the cycle, and then through it again!! I think right now i am in step 2 1/2 for the second time (mix between 2 and 3). Thanks, DreamingBee!

Post # 9
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Does anybody else get to a fourth stage of the cycle — a time where you do feel pretty confident and content? I feel pretty lucky that I do have that fourth stage. Some parts of it, for me, sound like the apathy/uncertainty stage — at least the natural feeling of doing your own thing. But it definitely comes with a feeling of embracing and enjoying the relationship as it is.

Of course, no matter how long that fourth stage lasts, something or other will happen that will inevitably shoot me back into stage one… either my SO and I will have a really good engagement/marriage conversation, or I’ll get a random and brilliant idea for a theme, or my engaged bff will get me thinking about things, and here we go again *sigh*.

And does anybody else notice how/if the intensity of these cycles changes over time? I used to feel the mood swings with them like crazy (about 3-6 months ago), but over the summer, the intensity of all these cycles has mellowed a bit — I guess as I’ve gotten used to them and they don’t feel so new and exciting (or new and sad, or new and scary) anymore.

Post # 10
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee

@BlueRidgeMere:I think I’ve gone through the cycles for atleast the past year and a half.  I think after going through it all over and over, it is less emotional now.  I still get frustrated, but there isn’t as many tears! haha  I do look back and think “oh man..I was obsessed”

Post # 11
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@BlueRidgeMere:  I do think there is a fourth stage, too. Sometimes after I’ve talked to my boyfriend and things are moving along I just feel fine. Not always excited, because some times it seems like things are a bit far out timeline wise, but just content and not thinking about it every waking moment. I second the idea of an additional stage.

Post # 12
Member
375 posts
Helper bee

I have the most ridiculous mood swings. I’m not sure that he knows it’s about waiting (because I try not to bring it up), but he thinks I’m going crazy. I think I might be going crazy too.

I’m doing very well today! I think there must be stage 4 too, where you’re happy and not thinking about marriage. It’s generally short, but I think it happens.

Post # 13
Member
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

It’s nice to know there are others who feel the same as I do about this waiting game.  Glad I’m not abnormal, lol. 

Post # 14
Member
22 posts
Newbee

DreamingBee, you are so cute! I totally agree with this. Heck, we should all write a book together. lol

Post # 15
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Dear god this is spot on. I seem to only post my woes on here when I’m in phase 2 when everything in my mind is highly amplified and pretty much exagerated to the point where I am imagining things.

thanks for this!

Post # 16
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Spot on.

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