The waiting game…

posted 1 week ago in Proposals
Post # 2
Member
438 posts
Helper bee

Have you discussed the timeline with him? Maybe he is thinking that he doesn’t want to get engaged until after you are no longer long distance. Maybe he has some other reason. He may not even realize he should be sharing these reasons with you if he doesn’t know you’re getting anxious about a proposal.

Normally I think it’s ridiculous if a guy has the ring but doesn’t want to propose soon, however it seems he just bought the ring because he didn’t want to miss out on getting you your dream ring, but he has his reasons for not wanting to get engaged soon. Maybe they’re legitimate reasons, maybe they’re silly, but you can’t know until you open up with him about wanting to know a timeline on when you will get engaged. Also I’m sure he purposefully didn’t tell you he bought you the ring because he didn’t want to get your hopes up on the proposal coming soon, so I wouldn’t hold him having the ring yet not proposing against him.

It isn’t nagging just to want to have an open and honest discussion with your SO about when you will take the next step in your life together.

Post # 3
Member
452 posts
Helper bee

What she said above…or maybe he didn’t want that person to ruin the surprise and it may be coming sooner than you think. 

Post # 5
Member
32 posts
Newbee

Reading this just reminds me of myself so much. I had a very similar situation (aside from the distance). My Fiance and I were dating for almost 6.5 years before getting engaged. We just finally got engaged last month. But I also got to the point where I felt like I was nagging. And everyone around me was getting engaged. I felt like every time I opened IG it was another person. And never me. We had a stash of money saved away for a ring “one day”, and then while cleaning I accidentally noticed it was just gone. So of course I assumed he bought a ring! But I didn’t say anything cause I didn’t want to ruin the surprise. But then I later found out he just moved the money so I wouldn’t know when he bought one. And I was so sad. We actually fought about it for awhile and I hope it doesn’t get to that point for you. I was just so sick of waiting. And I didn’t understand what the wait was for. We were 20 when we started dating and I was now 27. I was over it! Anyway, we had to relocate from Sacramento to Seattle for his work, and he ended up proposing a week before we left so I could celebrate with friends. I guess my point is, sometimes you just have to wait. And you don’t know what he’s thinking or planning. I know that sucks and probably isn’t what you want to hear, but just think about how happy and excited you’ll be when it finally does happen. I used to hate when people said that to me because when you’re waiting and you don’t know when the waiting will end, it feels never ending. But now that it has happened, I’m so satisfied and happy, and that will happen for you too. I feel like in some ways it’s even more exciting when people who have waited so long get engaged cause you have all this anticipation built up. Try not to let it get to you and be patient, and maybe just have a serious talk with him about why he wants to wait. You can tell him that you’re not insinuating you have to get engaged now, but you just want to know what he’s waiting for to feel ready. …sorry, that was really long!

Post # 6
Member
32 posts
Newbee

Forgot to mention too- I also had told my bf I wanted to be married by then end of 2018, we also have to save up and pay for our own wedding, and my bf also wanted me to have absolutely no idea about anything regarding the proposal… just funny how similar things were 🙂 but it’s probably a combo of thing..Him being younger, Having to save up, etc. ..obviously I don’t know either of you so I could be way off, but if he really wants you to have nothing to do with the proposal and have no idea and be surprised, is it possible he told this person he’s not proposing anytime soon just so you wouldn’t accidentally find out about it?

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