Post # 1
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
Hi All!
I am new to this site and needed a good vent session. Any advice you have would be greatly appreciated….
So here’s the deal….I’ve been with my SO for 2.5 years. He says he wants to marry and is going to marry me, but wants to “surprise” me. Every time I ask for some sort of confirmation he says, “don’t worry” or “I’m just going to keep you guessing.” I am going crazy! If he knows he wants to marry and is going to marry me then what is he waiting for? He says he wants me to become more confident (I have pretty low self esteem). I am working on it, but we all know that change will not happen over night. I am doing this for myself. I feel though every time I have a slip our relationship goes back 10 steps and then we are further from engagment. He went to an “appointment” twice within two weeks and it’s in a place where this jewelry store is that he goes to. I can’t help think he is picking out my ring. I am graduating from grad school next week, I don’t think he will propose then because he doesn’t want to take the moment away from me, but I am so worried he bought me another kind of jewelry and all I want is a ring. His job is going very well we have been living together for over a year and have two cats. I am so tired of waiting. I don’t want to leave him, I love him so much and can’t imagine my life without him. I just don’t get why he hasn’t proposed. He always talks about our future and getting married.
How do I get through this waiting process?!
Post # 3
Member
1780 posts
Buzzing bee
just try and stay calm….its hard to wait but sit down and talk to him, and tell him that you would like a general timeline say within a year….that way he still gets his suprise and you get some piece of mind…and guys are tricky creatures you never know what they will do to throw you off….it is possible that he did get you some jewelry for your graduation and has a ring in the back for another date….its hard but just try and stay calm….and 2.5 years is not that long….so breathe and give him some time to suprise you….
but you need to sit down with him, and say something along the lines of “Im not asking for a specific day but i would like to know what time frame you are thinking for an engagement since i am now done with school….i dont need specifics i just want to know where you stand so i have some comfort with a timeline in mind” and then be mature about it dont get upset, just be honest with how your feeling about the situation and let him know he can still suprise you, but that you just want to make sure you are on the same page timeline wise….
Post # 4
Member
1400 posts
Bumble bee
I totally feel you on this one girl! My SO and I have been together three years and we talk about getting married and having kids and we’re trying to buy a house and we even HAVE rings which we can size/trade in. So I can totally relate to the “if all of this fits together like this then where the heck is my ring” feeling. It is super stressful and hard to get over but worth it I hnk.
I just try to think about how surprised and blown away I’ll be when he does it and I try really (really) hard not to dwell on it. I can’t say its not like.. pactically impossible! But don’t throw it away over the ring, and don’t let the feelings about the ring push you over the edge. You will get yours and it will be as amazing as ever 🙂
God luck with the waiting game! I’m with ya :-p
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