- 8 years ago
- Wedding: August 2014
I am new to the board, but I have been creeping around for the past few weeks here. I love scrolling through and reading all your wonderful advice and solutions.
Anyway, I just need to vent. My situation that is driving me up the wall right now is the fact that I am still waiting for the proposal!!! It will be four years in March, and I am just dying to get the ring and make it official.
I have talked to my SO a few times before, and he knows what I want and that I am basically just waiting on him to do so, and he knows from the four years he’s been with me that I am about as impatient as a person can be! He tells me sometimes that he was thinking about how he is going to propose to me, and how I’ll make a great wife, and yadda yadda (charmer!) but then we go right back to square one. Once he told me within two months time, and that period of time is definitely over!
While I know he loves me and wants to marry me, financially I am worried I will never even get a ring, which is what I think is stopping him. I am currently the breadwinner in the relationship, and he is going to school full time (which is something I pushed him into doing — I wanted him to follow his dreams and not settle for less. This isn’t the issue) I make pretty decent money, enough to plan a small wedding like I want, but the issue is he is terrible at managing his money and only works part time right now. (I am working full time to support us, which was my choice. ) He’d rather invest in a new video game (sigh) then go to Zales and put money down on a ring. I feel like everytime he splurges on something we don’t need or something else for himself, he is basically putting my hopes and dreams on the back burner. He doesn’t want me to buy my own ring, but yet, when is he going to make the move to even save for a ring? It’s going to be another year before it even gets to that!
I told him I would want a longish engagement, only because I don’t want to strain our funds. I have always wanted an August wedding, and so I think Aug 2014 would be ideal because he should almost be done with school and I can pay off stuff a little at a time before the big day. But I can’t even begin to plan (well, I can, but I can’t do anything official, haha) until he proposes and that won’t happen until he can figures out how to manage his money. (I, on the other hand, am great with my money so this is anbother reason this drives me nuts.)
So I guess I just needed to vent. It’s so hard being ready to give my life to someone who feels the same way, but refuses to do anything about it. He is wonderful to me and he really is my best friend — but I don’t want to bring up how I feel because I’ve already come across as pushy on the subject (which it’s hard not to be in this situation!! ) At the same time, it’s kind of a slap in the face everytime he splurges and throws his savings away on something dumb, like I’m not worth saving for. Am I wrong to feel this way? If it were the other way around, and I were him, I would do anything to propose and make our love official! But alas, I am a hopeless romantic and want him down on one knee… (guess I’m a bit old fashioned when it comes to this, hahaha)
Any tips on passing the waiting time? All I can think about is getting married, and it sucks! It doesn’t help that all of my friends are engaged and have been in relaitonships WAY less time than I have, and keep asking me “when are you going to get engaged”. Some of them literally treat it like a joke — like “When rachel gets married, you know, in ten years, we can….” and it’s like ouch! (yes, i need new friends, too. haha)
Just keep swimming, I guess. Thanks for reading. I hope I don’t come across as whiney or anything, but he’s known about my desire for marriage for the past two years, and I feel like he’s not trying hard enough to make it happen….grr.