(Closed) The Waiting List – 03/05/2018

posted 1 year ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - Queens, NY

For me the “hmm, I might be waiting” thing happened after we argued and I made it known what I wanted from him and that I wasn’t going to wait years at this point.

The signal that told me I am DEFINITELY waiting was on January 6 when he pulled my dad aside and I accidentally overheard him talking to my dad about asking me to marry him. Then on January 23 he said we should talk about rings.

Granted, that has largely consisted of emails from me with lists of things I like and telling him metal preferences and ring size and stuff, but I’d like him involved in picking too and so far nothing I’m aware of.

But last night he told me he’d been looking online for houses again, which is huge since house-buying was part of what triggered these conversations in the first place. Normally it’s me looking and trying to get him to react in some way.

Post # 4
Member
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: St. petersburg, FL

I lurked for a long time before being added to the wait list – we have talked engagement preemptively for about two years, and those discussions were always me being more ready than he was.

My big signal was his agreement to go ring shopping in October of 2017. We picked out the setting together, and talked about what was important for the 4cs for us. I chose cut, color and clarity over carat, so we knew what we were looking for (it turned out we are both color sensitive, so no warm diamonds for me!) but he will pick the actual stone. 

My huge signal is our trip next week, and the fact that he left his browser on his kindle to the jewelry shop (he spent 1.5 hours on it), but be proud – I did NOT look at anything he was looking at – I closed the browser and never peeked. I cannot find the ring in the bedroom or anything, which makes me think it .00002% might not be on our trip, but I will enjoy our trip regardless. 

Our discussions have been all “we” and “us” and he legitimately could NOT take his eyes off of a blue nile commercial yesterday when we were at his parents’ house… the one where there are several proposals and lots of pretty rings. He was talking to his mom while watching, but his eyes were legit glued to the screen. He also saw a blue nile commercial (not the jewelry shop I think he got it from) this past Friday night and looked at me and said “didn’t you look at rings on that site for a long time” in front of people (he never really brought proposals/marriage up in front of people before, and now he talks openly in front of friends and family about it). 

So excited – I really hope it’s this upcoming trip. My mom made sure to tell me to get my nails done before the trip, and my dad has been calling me just to say hi recently which is very weird and uncharactaristic of him. All the signs point to yes, and now I have to wait a week to find out. I’m dying waiting!

Post # 5
Member
523 posts
Busy bee

Yay I’m on the list (I feel like I shouldn’t actually be happy about that lol)

In the very beginning my Boyfriend or Best Friend and I talked about marriage and I told him it wasn’t important to me (which was bad of me, but I was still legally married to my ex so at the time, it wasn’t.)

He has never been fond of the idea of marriage but I do know that he is and wants to marry me.

What made me think I am actually in the waiting game is because we have had recent conversations about what the wedding would be like, who we would invite, the cake, dress, budget, etc. and he has said we could potentially get married in 2 years. And when he said that, I asked him did he mean get engaged in 2 years, and he responded with “Or get engaged within that time and then get married in 2 years” so I’m not sure when it’s happening, but I’m hoping pretty soon because I’ve already told him it takes time to order a dress, etc.

I’m just glad he changed his mind from never wanting to get married to compromising for me. <3

Post # 7
Member
353 posts
Helper bee

Well I had been hopefully waiting for a while but about a year ago my SO asked me what kind of ring I wanted so that put me in official waiting.. its been a long road since then but I’m hopeful it will be this spring!! 

Post # 8
Member
77 posts
Worker bee

It’s been a gradual shift to waiting for me. I was engaged and almost married to an abusive-ex when I was really young. (I was actually active on WeddingBee under a different name then.) So I never was “in a rush” to do it again. When I met my SO, he was ready to get married after a few months of dating. I made him slow it down, and we both set personal goals we wanted to accomplish before we got married. Now it’s 4 years later, those goals are accomplished, and we had a discussion after the New Year that it’s about time we make things official. So we’ll be engaged in 2018. I really started feeling the “waiting” mindset recently. I’m involved in 3 weddings this year, and one is my sister for whom I am the Maid/Matron of Honor. With helping everyone else plan their weddings I’ve really been thinking about ours. Also, my sister let it slip that SO has been ring shopping. So here I am, back on the Bee!

Post # 9
Member
414 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2020

We were only 14 when we started dating, so it was when we realised that our relationship had matured from highschool relationship to serious adult relationship that my mindset changed.
My waiting mindset was confirmed when we had a conversation and he said he’d like to be engaged within the next 2 years (a year ago now, so should be coming some time this year, yay!) 

Post # 10
Member
94 posts
Worker bee

I was wanting to wait for probably the last 8 months(?) but it’s only been in the last month that my SO has caught up with me and I feel like things are finally in waiting mode smile 

I can tell because he’s been able to talk much more concretely about it and we’ve started looking at rings together ( so exciting!! ). We have always been very open with each other… But to actually go look at rings really means he serious because he doesn’t do anything lightly! So this is what switched me from feeling more like “hmmmmm when will we start talking about this….” to “this is so exciting!”.

Post # 11
Member
1002 posts
Bumble bee

I think always talking about it was a sign… but thats been from like under 6 months of dating…

Now we have been together a little over a year and a half “dating” (living together and becoming financially invested etc) and I am like getting impatient… Maybe I am nuts but I have not wanted to marry anyone else before… and he is the one that brings it up more than anyone… so it gets frustrating. Plus I will be 30 this year and ready to make the next step in LIFE… not just this relationship.

But again… he said he plans to be engaged this year… and maybe married before end of year. But to me he is really cramping stuff together by saying that. It is a confusing time for me.

Post # 12
Member
1044 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2019 - USA

DaniGirl03 :  I knew I was actually “waiting” since last year, because we had just bought a home together, and decided that the engagement would happen sometime after we moved in. Now we’ve settled into the house and it’s literally right about to happen! We just went back to the jewelry store last week to get all the ring specs so he can buy it! He’s got the diamond and everything. Our anniversary is coming up in like 2 months so the waiting game is for real now. 🙂 

Post # 14
Member
1044 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2019 - USA

DaniGirl03 :  OMG I hear you. The excitement is palpable!!! Tell me about your ring! 

By The Way I also read your previous reply- I’m with you there too. It took me a little longer to be ready because I had a brief engagement before this relationship that ended really badly, and I had a lot of trust issues and anxiety around engagement/marriage since then. Thankfully my SO is really patient and understanding and that’s why I feel so comfortable and excited now 🙂 

Post # 15
Member
217 posts
Helper bee

Ooh, good question. I’m interested to see others’ definitions of waiting since I think mine might be a bit too liberal.

For me, waiting is when he could really propose any day and it wouldn’t feel weird. A year ago, if he’d proposed we wouldn’t have even been close to ready to get married financially, so I would have been casually engaged for an extremely long time before I even started weddingbee planning. If he proposed today, I could start researching things without being too far out. Maybe I couldn’t book a venue, but it wouldn’t be far off and it would give me time to explore options. And since we have our 4 year dating anniversary coming up it’s kind of all waiting at this point!

The topic ‘The Waiting List – 03/05/2018’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors