(Closed) The waiting rollercoaster ride (kind of long)

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Whoa….Be patient!  Men can’t be rushed…LOL!  He obviously loves you and wants to marry you since you picked out the ring, you just have to wait until he gives it to you.  He’s planning the big moment and wants it to be special, so be patient.  Pushing him to do it is only going to make him feel uncomfortable and could really complicat things.  Waiting is no fun, but GOOD things come to those who WAIT!

Post # 4
Member
97 posts
Worker bee

Don’t worry, I think all of us here understand what the up, down, and sideways emotions of waiting feels like! =)

Just take comfort in the fact that you know he’s made the big step of picking out the perfect ring for you and the proposal can’t be that far off! Good luck to you!

Post # 5
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee

Dont take this the wrong way, I realize this is a vent, but you are coming off as kind of pushy about the ring payments. My Boyfriend or Best Friend makes good money too, and my ring has been on layaway for the same amount of time as yours. I’m sure he’s not deliberately putting off payments to make you squirm. Things come up. Hell, Boyfriend or Best Friend bought a new TV this Christmas with money he could have put towards the ring. I wasn’t bothered cause I know the ring is coming. Besides, it’s not my place to tell him what his financial priorities are. (Insert money grubbing wife joke here)

Rest assured, he DOES want to marry you. There’s no way in hell he would go out and get a ring for a girl he wasn’t sure about. What you need to do right now is let go of all this anxiety and confusion (easier said than done, I know) and stop thinking of this time as an excruciating wait. The hard part is over! There is intent. There is a ring. All you need to do is kick back and allow him the opportunity to propose in whatever manner he chooses.

There’s no shame in checking out wedding stuff at this point. You ARE getting married.   It’s not like you have some big case of the wishful thinkings, you have a willing soon-to-be fiance and every right to look into wedding stuff.

Just don’t put down any deposits til you get the ring, k? 🙂

Post # 7
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Everyone has good and bad days! Sounds like you’re having a bad one 🙂 Just don’t say anything to him that you’ll regret and enjoy your relationship together!

Post # 8
Member
273 posts
Helper bee

Hey- I know how frustrating it can be. Your situation is a bit more frustrating than mine because you have been waiting so long, but I am sort of in the same position as you because I know the ring is purchased already and now I am just waiting.

The annoying thing is that my bf just mentioned to me the other day “it will happen when you least expect it, just as you always said you met me when you weren’t even looking to meet anyone, it will be one of those moments.” GREAT,…. I felt like it took years to meet him!

Like the other posters mentioned the reassurance that he bought the ring is enough of a commitment to hold me over for the meantime (it was by far the most expensive thing he has ever purchased), give it atleast another 6 months before you get worked up about it. Try to keep your mind on other things….I know easier said than done!! Be strong! (atleast that’s what I keep telling myself :))

 

Post # 9
Member
60 posts
Worker bee

Hey Hun,

I completely get the frustration, and the not wanting to talk about it for feeling like you are pushing him but this does not seems very healthy either. I think it would be a good idea to chat to him, there is no point secind guessing what is going on in his head. Why not speak to him, get an idea of a time line. And why his last one changed. Also explain how you feel and that you are starting to worry he has changed his mind.

I honestly thoguht I would be engaged in 2011 but it didn’t happen, men have thier resaons. I spoke to my SO last week and got a vaugue timescale. in the next 6 months – 2 years…

That was tough to hear but I knwo he is still thinking about it. I knwo for my man its money that is causing him to worry. He has started saving but he works for a faamily business and the salary he takes isn’t huge, but I know its coming. I did say I wasn’t bothered how expensive the ring is but he wants to treat and spoil me.

Have a chat and see if you feel slightly better.

xxx

Post # 11
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

Wow everything you wrote I feel like I have been thinking in my head. I sometimes say to myself just relax and let it happen. But like you we have already picked out the ring and it is still at the store and already paid off he just need to pick it up and propose already. I do not think he is making me wait on purpose but I do not think he understand that it does not have to be this long waiting period. Some of my good friends got engaged last year and one of my friends just got engaged last weekend and I have been feeling a little jealous.  We have picked out a wedding venue and even got a date we want our wedding to happen but I do not understand why does it have to take him so long. I feel more in a rush because I unlike you am 32 years old.

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