(Closed) The war of the mothers….

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Wow, that’s crazy. My mom can’t stand my husband’s mother, but she definitely has her reasons, and none of us speak to her any longer. so its definitely not just my mother. But my mom and my Mother-In-Law (FIL’s FI) get along great. They have very similar personalities, and honestly, my IL’s and my parents are friends now.  I’m sorry you are going through this, but I agree with your mom on this one. I would just try not to speak to each about the other as much as you can.

Less that a month to go for you, I hope things calm down after that!

Post # 5
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

In these situations, you either gotta cry or laugh because no one is going to win!

When either my Future Mother-In-Law or on the rare occassion my mom have a crazy moment- I just tend to really limit the amount of information I give them. I stick to short sentences, few details and just tell them a decision has been made and that’s it. No room for debate.

When Future Mother-In-Law goes off the deep end, I just let Fiance deal with her (or be the one to ignore her calls).

You have better things to focus on, don’t let their nonsense bog you down.

Post # 7
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I agree with @PinkPinStripes!  If you absolutely CAN’T limit the information, try letting oyur mom and Future Mother-In-Law that it is stressing you out to have the comments flying and having to feel like you’re “in the middle”.  I’m finding that when a bride says that something is stressing her out, people tend to try thier best to stop it (especially when the wedding date is getting close).

Deep breath, hugs, and remember this is only ONE day and you’ll all be family for the rest of each others lives!:):)

Post # 9
5762 posts
Bee Keeper

Why do they hate each other so much anyway?

Post # 10
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My Mom and now Mother-In-Law met the weekend of the wedding.  By the end of the weekend my mom said  “MIl gave me he phone number, but ( in a low whisper) I don’t believe I will be calling her anytime soon”. LOL

Post # 12
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Breathe deeply and pray….

Post # 13
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@StormyRose:  here’s my solution:

trick them into being in the same room together and lock the door so they’re inside the room alone.  

Leave them for two hours.

Return and clean up the mess/dispose of bodies. 

problem solved! 😀


Seriously, I suggest dealing with them through email, if at all possible.  OR, let your Fiance do it.  (That’s what I tend to do, lol).  If they can’t grow up and act like adults, treat them like kids.

Post # 14
5762 posts
Bee Keeper

@StormyRose: Got it. I had 2 of them (FMIL’s) to deal with, and one was completely disinterested and thought everything was ‘absurd’, and the other complained about never having her own wedding and not knowing anything about them. I took care of everything myself rather than deal with them. I know how your Mother feels.

Post # 15
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@Zinzerena:  I love this!!!!  You could even hire someone to clean up the mess ….

The topic ‘The war of the mothers….’ is closed to new replies.

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