Post # 1
Hi…I am the Mother of the Groom.
My husband and I have decided on a certain amount we are going to give them towards the wedding.
I was thinking of opening an account with both my name and my son’s name so he could access it as needed.
For those that received help for your wedding, how was it handled?
Post # 3
My parents gave me a number they were willing to contribute, and so did his. As we paid deposits, my mother gave me checks to pay them and kept track of how much she spent until it reached the magic number.
Post # 4
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
Instead of an account with you and your son’s name on it, I’d recommend the engaged couple create an account- the bride to be should also have access to those funds.
We’re planning on having three accounts when we’re married anyway- his, hers, and ours, so we’re going to start an account with our family’s contributions. Because we’re having a shorter engagement (6 mos), our parents are giving checks up front, versus getting reimbursed-I think there will be less stress that way.
Post # 5
My dad helped us out by lending us some of our wedding money. He just wrote checks for the few bills we had left. I think that opening account would be a great way to handle it and it is really sweet of you to give them that gift.
Post # 6
I guess I am a bit nervous about them spending it too fast and running out of money. They are very frugal/responsible, but still young.
Maybe an account with all 3 of us would work.
Post # 7
I would also recommend that the bride and groom set up a separate account with their names together. This is what we did/are doing. My parents and Fiance parents have both contributed (bless them both) and we’ve deposited those checks directly into that separate checking account. I think it’s good to have it separate because they you don’t accidently spend it on something else. In our situation my Fiance is completely comfortable with me handling the checking account because I’m a CPA and a super strict budgeter. The only funds that haven’t gone into this account is the money we’ve set aside for the honeymoon since Fiance is planning it and isn’t telling me where we are going.
Post # 8
My mom told me they would pay for the reception, so when the final count was in and payment was due, I just told them how much it was and they got a bank check for that amount.
Post # 9
I’d also like to offer a suggestion that there are wedding budget calculators out there that help you figure out based on what you want to include and your total wedding budget, how much to spend in each area. Just google “wedding budget calculator” and you will see what I mean.
Post # 9
@CoffeeandCream: Perhaps agree to put money towards something specific.
Post # 10
Honestly, if they can’t handle the money then they have no business getting married. I don’t see a need for you to be on an account with them. Just give them a check for the amount you would like to contribute.
Post # 11
My mom paid for the food so that was one check that she gave me when I went in a few days before the wedding to pay for it.
DH’s dad just wrote a us a check every month for $300. He did this for about a year.
Post # 12
My mom is in a different state and opened an account at a bank that has branches in my area. I just had to go in and sign on the account and I just pull money from it as needed.
Post # 13
My mother gave us a lump sum for what she was going to contribute about a month before our wedding. It was up to us to pay for everything up until that point but her contribution covered all of our final vendor payments as well as paid us back for a great deal of what we already shelled out. At first it royally sucked having to come up with all of the money beforehand but I think it actually worked out better for us this way. We were able to make our payments over the course of our 16 month engagement and ended up with a nice chunk of change right before the wedding. Those funds greatly helped with all of the last minute things that popped up and allowed us to have an extra awesome time on our honeymoon. As for my IL’s, they handled the payments for the things that they agreed to cover which were our flowers and Rehearsal Dinner.
Post # 14
@CoffeeandCream: Our parents wrote us checks… having you on the account is a little weird and controlling… no offense.
Post # 15
@Lt.Columbo: I agree.
My fiance and I set up an account on our own, and our parents write checks to us that we deposit. There is no need for my mom’s name to be on the account, I’m not sure what purpose that would serve.