(Closed) The Wedding Gift Scorecard

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll:
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5921 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    This sounds incredibly petty and shallow.  It is impossible for you to know everyone’s financial situation. 

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee

    I think it all depends on how you use it. Like any tool, it can be used well or badly. If it truly is a “scorecard” that feeds into feeling resentment and keeping score, and you use it to exact revenge and “settle scores” on people you feel weren’t generous enough with you, then that sounds toxic and destructive and I wouldn’t do it. If you’re keeping it as a happy reminder of how great it was that all these people came to your wedding and gave you gifts (monetary value notwithstanding), then I would do it. Ultimately, going back over what people did or didn’t give you for your wedding is going to affect you much more than it will ever affect anyone you give a gift to in the future – because you’ll be making the connection whereas in all likelihood they will not. They’ll probably just be puzzled as to why you’re being weird to them – and it will reflect badly on you.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I don’t know if I’ll be doing this, but a co-worker of mine did and she said it’s come in handy. I’m up in the air..

    Post # 8
    Member
    423 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Aren’t there there more important concerns in life? This sounds like a case of first world issues to me. You don’t know everyone’s situation and to choose how you treat them based on a gift is incredibly shallow. Plus, you shouldn’t be inviting guests for their gifts, and certainly shouldn’t be changing how you act towards someone because of a wedding gift. Unreal.

    Post # 10
    Member
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee

    @posh_princess:  Yeah, I agree, that’s obnoxious. I’d be annoyed, too.

    Still, holding onto it is ultimately going to hurt you much more than it will ever hurt them. Do you really want to sink to their level?

    Post # 11
    Member
    5073 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2012

    so when you go to someone’s wedding 5 years from now you’re going to look back in the book and decide what to get them based on what they got you?

    Am I understanding this correctly?   I guess I don’t understand the “they’ve got money to give but they didn’t give us enough” idea.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1659 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I can understand “Chris and Mary didn’t get us a gift, don’t spend a bunch of money on theirs” but maintaining a log for that purpose is petty.

    Post # 13
    Member
    13292 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Seriously?  It sounds petty.  You shouldn’t be inviting people for gifts, and just because they own their own business and live in a mansion doesn’t mean you know the first thing about their finances.  If I were one of your friends and found out about this, I’d be mortified and think you were judgmental and being a jerk. 

    Sorry.

    Post # 14
    Member
    6247 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 1900

    This way we always know if we get invited to someone’s wedding, party, etc. we know if they were cheap or not and can determine what to give.

    Shouldn’t you give gifts based on a combination of factors like how much you can afford, what occasion it is, what they like/dislike, etc.  Giving a gift based on how cheap someone was in the past defeats the point of gift-giving.  That’s more like spite-giving.

    Post # 15
    Member
    8727 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    @posh_princess:  But you choose to spend every waking hour of your engagement to worry about those things! I certainly don’t see how it is a slap in the face because they gave you a gift that didn’t met your lofty ideals. Maybe they could sense your sense of entitlement and acted accordingly?

    Post # 16
    Member
    423 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @posh_princess:  That’s your problem that you spent that much time/effort/money on your wedding and expected that gifts would pay off for your hard work. That’s not what a wedding should be about. What ever happened to inviting guests to spend your special day with regardless of great gift or not? 

    We’re gonna agree to disagree on this one because I can’t stand to even read this thread anymore. It reeks of pettiness and entitlement.

    The topic ‘The Wedding Gift Scorecard’ is closed to new replies.

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