(Closed) The Wedding Night… Uninvited guests??

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
944 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Oh boy.  If she’s married she really should understand that you’d want that privacy.  Even if she’s not, you’d think she’d still stay somewhere else–well, I know I would.  I’d be honest and just tell her you guys want to be away from everyone that evening and would hope she would change her room and also mention the shuttle.

Post # 4
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Agreed – be honest.  I’d be very surprised if she didn’t understand.

Post # 5
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I don’t really see why it matters if they are completely seperate rooms.  She won’t come up to your room in the middle of the night and bother you so why does it matter that she is staying at the same place?

Post # 6
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I agree with MissAb- You will both will get in so late from the wedding that it’s not like they’ll come down the hall to chat.  Plus I’m sure either you’ll get up early to leave or they will. 

Post # 7
Member
546 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I agree with MissAsB…unless the rooms are connected somehow I don’t see what it matters.  I never really understood why it’s necessary to stay in a completely different hotel than your guests.  If she wanted to share a room or something, I could see that being a problem.  She is probably thinking how it’ll be easier for them after a long day, especially if she is staying at the B&B the night before…she wouldn’t have to move everything just to go down the road.

Post # 9
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

I agree that it doesn’t seem necessary for her to move … but it sounds like you’re paying for the room and she wants to stay in it, is that what’s happening?

Post # 10
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

“We just preferred not to see people from our wedding the morning after until we were ready, or for them to expect us to stay up and after-party with them.”

The afterparty thing could be a problem, but you just leave and that’s that (that’s why we planned a sparkler exit and a car getaway, no one could come after us!!) as for seeing people the morning after …. just don’t come out of you room till you’re good and ready!! 🙂  Or do you mean because it’s a small b&b and you’ll have to have breakfast with them (no room service?).

Post # 11
Member
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I think it would be awkward.  B&B’s are usually in small houses, what if they hear you or your hear them?  I would be honest with her and ask if she wouldn’t mind going to the other hotel.  

Post # 13
Member
1148 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I think if you mention offhandedly that you wouldn’t want to be uber embarrassed the morning after by having to look at her after you “did the deed” the night before practically in the room next to theirs and that your Fiance wanted to be secluded from everyone she might take the hint. I honestly think she should pick the hotel because it’s your first nite together after getting married, surely she understands that.

Post # 14
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I understand where your coming from. It’s not like it’s some huge chain hotel where ther will be tons of people. It’s a small B & B where you will see most everyone who is there.

If All else fails you could book your 2 rooms at the other hotel you want them to stay in for the night before the wedding & then only have you & your new husband go to the B & B on the wedding night. Then she can still stay in the room she was in the night before without moving & she will still be out of your hair.

Or you could just go somwhere else (not the B & B) & not tell anyone where. Then you’ll be secluded. You may have to be the one to move; but I guess just do what you have to do if she doesn’t understand. But I think she should if you talk to her.

 

Post # 15
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

kiddosc: I understand where you are coming from as well.  We are also staying in a separate hotel from our party and guests on our wedding night.  I do not want to run into anyone over breakfast myself.  I look at that night as the start of our honeymoon even though we will be leaving for the airport in the morning.  There will be plenty of time to see everyone after our return.

I think if you explain to your Maid/Matron of Honor that you two have planned these arrangements so that you can be alone she will understand why.  My Maid/Matron of Honor is my best friend as well, and I know she would understand, just talk with her doesn’t have to be a big production she will see where you two are coming from its an intamecy thing for your first night as husband and wife not at all personal.Smile

Post # 16
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Maybe it’s just me, but if I had a choice between a B&B filled with strangers, or being surrounded by people I love, who love me, I would chose the latter. 

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