Post # 1
i was going to be the Maid/Matron of Honor for my friends wedding. in march she threw this big hissy fit that all the Bridesmaid or Best Man should buy our dresses by the first week of april. so all the girls in her wedding made sure they had their dresses ordered. then a month later she cancelled the wedding. she said she would pay us all back for our dresses but when i asked her about it yesterday (i gave her a few weeks to just deal with everything) she told me to hold on to the dress because maybe she’ll be getting married sometime in the next two years. i’m not trying to be a jerk about this but i don’t have that kind of money to just pay for a dress for a wedding that COULD happen. she got most of her money back from the deposits and didn’t really loose anything. i know you all are thinking “don’t worry about it because she’s going though a rough time” but i’ve talked to her and she’s so much happier now that she isn’t getting married. do i ask her for my money back, do i sell my dress online? what should i do?
Post # 3
I would sell the dress online. I don’t think it’s right of her to ask you to hold onto it for 2 years, and most likely styles will change in that time and her wedding will probably end up looking differently.
Post # 4
I would just tell her flat out “I don’t have the money to pay for a dress that I may or may not use. If you don’t want to buy it back from me to save for when you do get married, then I’m going to sell it online”. Give her the chance to pay for it if she does want to keep the dresses. If she declines, then it’s your dress to sell.
Post # 5
If you don’t mind sharing, exactly how much was the dress? If it’s a small amount I say just sell the dress and forget about it. If it was $$$ then maybe ask her if she can make up for the money you will lose after reselling the dress. I would also gently tell her that the trends might change and she might end up changing her mind. Even if she seems happier, I would still tread carefully she might be sensitive still.
Post # 6
I agree with the above posters. Let her know that you don’t have the money to pay for something that may or may not happen. Give her the chance to either pay you back, or you’ll sell the dress online. It’s a thanks but no thanks approach, but she can’t expect you to dish out money when she’s not getting married anymore.
Post # 7
Wow that sucks, if she is that happy then try again asking for my money back on the dress. If you don’t want to approach her about it then sell the dress online and deal with not haveing your dress when the time comes. I feel its very inconsiderate to tie up another persons money thats just not fair.
Post # 8
I would recommend just selling the dress, then maybe ask her if she could pay you the difference. Good Luck!
Post # 9
i spent about $150 on the dress. i know that dosn’t sound like a lot of money but for me it is (i don’t spend that much on clothes in a year even). it’s not that i’m broke but i’m still paying off student loans. i’m really scared that if i say something to her she’s going to freak out on me. what do i do if she freaks out?
Post # 10
Seriously? She wants you to keep the dress?
You can tell her it is ridiculous to expect you to “hold onto” the dress for the next 2-3 years. If/when she gets engaged again, and if/when she asks you to be a bridesmaid, then you can get a new Bridesmaid or Best Man dress.
Post # 11
do i tell her i’m selling the dress or do i just do it? i have so many questions about this!!!
Post # 12
I would tell her that if she’s not going to give you the money back than your going to sell it.
Post # 13
To be honest, I would tell her to give your money back. The whole situation is unfortunate but it also sounds to me like she doesnt care about the fact you spent all this money on a dress for her wedding, and is trying to brush it off so she doesnt have to give you money back.
You are totally right about not wanting to spend money(especially with the economy right now), on a wedding that may not happen. I wouldnt either!
…and to be honest, if the wedding was cancelled and she is happier now, those type of situations don’t usually get better so I wouldnt be holding my breath on a wedding.
Get your money back, you shouldnt have to go through the hassle of trying to sell the dress.
Post # 14
Eh, personally? I would just do it and if she asked me I’d explain later. But I don’t know what your realtionship is like. It seems, from your previous posts, that she is pretty bossy in general, so I don’t think I would want to get caught up in the drama of having to argue the point with her.
Good luck, let us know what you decide to do!
Post # 15
I would just tell her look we have two options here… you give me the money for the dress and hold on to it or I am going to sell it. I wouldnt stress. She made this situation the way it is… you shouldnt have to suffer. She should understand…
Post # 16
My friend cancelled her wedding a few years ago–and she wrote each one of us a check for the dresses (she had 14 (yes 14) bridesmaids). I was lucky that I didn’t have to ask for the money back but I was sure glad when the check arrived in the mail!! I remember being conflicted about cashing it, but I was right out of college so $170 was a lot of $$ at the time. She got married to a different guy 2 years later and we wore different dresses. She didn’t do anything the same in wedding 2–different time of year, different colors etc. I dont think your friend really expects you to keep the dress–I think she just dont know what she is doing right now. I would just ask her if she was going to pay you back for the dress (since this will get you the most $$ back) and then if she says she can’t/won’t/doesn’t answer etc then stick that badboy online because even if she does get married the odds are VERY low she would want the same dress. I would also see if the other bridesmaids wanted to go into an ebay/bee sale with you. There could be another bride out there looking for the same color/sizes…Good luck!