(Closed) the wedding was called off

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Hostess
18644 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I would sell the dress online.  I don’t think it’s right of her to ask you to hold onto it for 2 years, and most likely styles will change in that time and her wedding will probably end up looking differently.

Post # 4
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

I would just tell her flat out “I don’t have the money to pay for a dress that I may or may not use.  If you don’t want to buy it back from me to save for when you do get married, then I’m going to sell it online”.  Give her the chance to pay for it if she does want to keep the dresses.  If she declines, then it’s your dress to sell.

Post # 5
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

 If you don’t mind sharing, exactly how much was the dress? If it’s a small amount I say just sell the dress and forget about it. If it was $$$ then maybe ask her if she can make up for the money you will lose after reselling the dress. I would also gently tell her that the trends might change and she might end up changing her mind. Even if she seems happier, I would still tread carefully she might be sensitive still. 

Post # 6
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

I agree with the above posters. Let her know that you don’t have the money to pay for something that may or may not happen. Give her the chance to either pay you back, or you’ll sell the dress online. It’s a thanks but no thanks approach, but she can’t expect you to dish out money when she’s not getting married anymore.

Post # 7
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Wow that sucks, if she is that happy then try again asking for my money back on the dress. If you don’t want to approach her about it then sell the dress online and deal with not haveing your dress when the time comes. I feel its very inconsiderate to tie up another persons money thats just not fair.

Post # 8
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1999

I would recommend just selling the dress, then maybe ask her if she could pay you the difference.  Good Luck! 

Post # 10
Member
2788 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Seriously? She wants you to keep the dress?

You can tell her it is ridiculous to expect you to “hold onto” the dress for the next 2-3 years.  If/when she gets engaged again, and if/when she asks you to be a bridesmaid, then you can get a new Bridesmaid or Best Man dress.

 

Post # 12
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would tell her that if she’s not going to give you the money back than your going to sell it.

Post # 13
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2011

To be honest, I would tell her to give your money back. The whole situation is unfortunate but it also sounds to me like she doesnt care about the fact you spent all this money on a dress for her wedding, and is trying to brush it off so she doesnt have to give you money back.

You are totally right about not wanting to spend money(especially with the economy right now), on a wedding that may not happen. I wouldnt either!

…and to be honest, if the wedding was cancelled and she is happier now, those type of situations don’t usually get better so I wouldnt be holding my breath on a wedding.

Get your money back, you shouldnt have to go through the hassle of trying to sell the dress.

Post # 14
Member
2788 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Eh, personally? I would just do it and if she asked me I’d explain later.  But I don’t know what your realtionship is like.  It seems, from your previous posts, that she is pretty bossy in general, so I don’t think I would want to get caught up in the drama of having to argue the point with her.

Good luck, let us know what you decide to do!

Post # 15
Member
829 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I would just tell her look we have two options here… you give me the money for the dress and hold on to it or I am going to sell it. I wouldnt stress. She made this situation the way it is… you shouldnt have to suffer. She should understand…

Post # 16
Member
12 posts
Newbee

My friend cancelled her wedding a few years ago–and she wrote each one of us a check for the dresses (she had 14 (yes 14) bridesmaids). I was lucky that I didn’t have to ask for the money back but I was sure glad when the check arrived in the mail!! I remember being conflicted about cashing it, but I was right out of college so $170 was a lot of $$ at the time. She got married to a different guy 2 years later and we wore different dresses. She didn’t do anything the same in wedding 2–different time of year, different colors etc. I dont think your friend really expects you to keep the dress–I think she just dont know what she is doing right now. I would just ask her if she was going to pay you back for the dress (since this will get you the most $$ back) and then if she says she can’t/won’t/doesn’t answer etc then stick that badboy online because even if she does get married the odds are VERY low she would want the same dress. I would also see if the other bridesmaids wanted to go into an ebay/bee sale with you. There could be another bride out there looking for the same color/sizes…Good luck! 

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