(Closed) The what-if situation (Wedding and Baby related!!!)

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
27 posts
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m acutally in this situation now. I found out I was pregnant 3 months before I was supposed to be in a wedding. I of course had to tell her because of dress situation. I also found out I was pregnant 9 months before my wedding. Talk about YIKES!

Post # 4
4038 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I probably wouldn’t tell her right away if I didn’t have to…if possible, I would wait until after the first trimester. If dress shopping comes up in the first trimester, though, I would tell her. 

Post # 5
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Mrs Sarah McK: Agreed. I’d wait until I was more comfortable with the progression of my pregnancy, but if her wedding events come up before our big announcement, I’d privately confide in her and let her plan from there.

One of my BMs was in this situation and Mr.ND and I gladly held their secret until they shared with everyone. It was nice of them to allow us the extra time to shift some plans around re: the Bridal Party. 

Post # 6
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I’ve had the opposite happen to me, so I’d say tell her sooner! Future Sister-In-Law knew she was pregnant when we OK’d our date with her even though her due date was the same week as the wedding date. She said that date was fine with her (the wedding is 1000 miles away from where she and FI’s parents live). So, we start planning. Later on she told us she was pregnant and the due date and we’ve had to change everything around to ensure that she can be there and to make sure FI’s parents don’t have to pick between the wedding and the birth of their first grandchild. I’m super excited for Future Sister-In-Law and Future Brother-In-Law, but frustrated that it cost us lots of stress and a few $1000 because she didn’t want to tell us when we asked her about the date. 

If she has you as a Bridesmaid or Best Man, she’s clearly a good friend and would be psyched for you and keep it a secret.


Post # 7
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

if you are really good friends, then i would think it makes sense to let her know as soon as you are comfortable.  I told our parents, siblings and my (4?) very best friends I was pregnant in the first trimester.  I think the waiting to tell people thing is for the “general public” and people often tell those closest to them earlier.  But I would def. tell her before any dress shopping if you don’t want to earlier!

Post # 10
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Beebug:  Congrats!

My girlfriend cried to her husband numerous times before she called me, and she was so sad on the phone. But I was STOKED! Bummed she couldn’t be in my wedding for all of 2 seconds, but then I was all ‘YAY BABY!!’ Believe me, a good friend may have just a twinge of sadness, but really, babies are awesome, I’m sure she’ll understand. The more notice the better, once you’re comfortable sharing, of course.

Post # 11
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Beebug:  I know you want to keep it a secret, but just as heads up– you might want to consider telling her ahead of going dress shopping, and as soon as you can. If I knew one of my BM’s would need a maternity dress, that would affect the styles of dresses I’d be considering. (I’m saying this because one of my BM’s is trying to get pregnant and may need a maternity dress 8 months from now, and I’m making sure that she will be able to get a dress that fits. If I didn’t know, I might have excluded any maternity-friendly options early on). But I don’t know where y’all are shopping – hopefully this bride is letting her bridesmaids try styles that are available in maternity sizes. Best wishes!

Post # 12
607 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I definitely would tell her early. I’d probably wait a few weeks, at least until after the first doctor’s appointment, but since you are in the wedding I assume she is a really good friend, so I’d be ok with telling her early. 

Although, thinking about it, that would probably push me to tell other people a little faster– like I’d feel like my siblings should know before a friend, etc. But still, yeah I think you should give her the heads up.

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