(Closed) the “white obsession”… please help.

posted 7 years ago in Christian
  • poll: What all do you think NEEDS to be WHITE?(choose all that apply)
    the dress : (51 votes)
    31 %
    the flowers : (1 votes)
    1 %
    the head table : (1 votes)
    1 %
    the unity candle : (16 votes)
    10 %
    the cake : (9 votes)
    5 %
    evrything : (0 votes)
    nothing : (86 votes)
    52 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    105 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Can you and your fiancee sit down with his parents and explain that your wedding is a reflection of your personalities, and you do not need everything to be white to express that? As you probably know “white” weddings were a product of the late Victorian Era and are not a necessary reflection of religous piety.

    Good luck!

    Post # 4
    Member
    49 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    Oh my goodness I cannot believe that they took the runner off of the table? That is really not very nice. We are both religious and find freedom in that not constraint. I am wearing ivory and I am a virgin so I think it is silly to say that a bride needs everything to be white for purity reasons. I guess I will leave them guessing then haha. Ask them to show you where in scripture it tells you what color the unity candle and bouquet should be haha.

    Post # 5
    Member
    243 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Oh wow!  I feel for you…..

    I had an issue with the IL’s b/c they thought the flower girl had to wear a white dress.  I insisted it was my wedding and I didn’t want her in white, they had a fit but they got over it and now love the dress I picked out for the Flower Girl. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    6824 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    This is definately not a Lutheran deal, I am lutheran so I would have to say it is more of a traditional the family thinks the bride and everything bridal is to be white for pure/virginal.

    Post # 7
    Member
    3522 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I find the table runner thing comical, because blue has traditionally been the color of purity (that’s why you see Mary wearing blue in most paintings). Nothing HAS to be white; white as a symbol of purity was a concept introduced by Queen Victoria (in the Victorian era). Before that, wedding dresses and the like tended to be colored because white was not practical for everyday wear.

    These people sound like they’re being crazycakes, and I’m sorry you have to deal with it. As I said, nothing “has” to be white–it’s up to the bride and groom and their preferences. God will not strike you dead if you have a blue (or, heaven forbid, a lime green) table runner or if your unity candle isn’t white or if your dress isn’t white.

    Post # 8
    Member
    6998 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    i personally think the dress is the only thing that NEEDS to be white – but thats my opinion – white dress just screams bride anything else though i say throw it out the window. who doesnt love color?

    my husbands family is pretty traditional in all aspects of life but it was our wedding and i wanted to do it how i wanted to do it – which for me was not covering my shoulders in the catholic chruch (oooh nooo my tattoo was showing eek!) didnt care….

    i wore red shoes! which his family was stunned by but actually loved – they said it was so me. but nothing else listed above was white for me – except the candle, but that was provided by the church so i didnt pick it out.

    at the same time i didnt want to offend anyone and im not the kind of bride that was all me me me so i really did try and take their traditional ways into consideration. nothing i did was shocking, just different.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1025 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    If they bring up the purity thing, say this, “We’re going to let our lives be the testament of our faith, and we’re going to let our table runners just be table runners.” 

    Post # 10
    Member
    7695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    The only thing in my opinion of my own wedding that NEEDED to be white was my dress. For someone else’s wedding there is NOTHING that needs to be white! I dont care if you get married in a blue dress holding pink flowers with green table runners and a pink cake. Its YOUR Wedding so therefore I will respect what you (the couple) has chosen! How rude of his parents to be so controlling! How could they be mad about yor mom walking you down the aisle? Thats ridiculous too. I would just tell them that while you appreciate their opinion you dont feel that an all white wedding truly reflects you and your Fiance.

    Post # 11
    Member
    7408 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @jedeve – that’s perfect.

    Post # 12
    Member
    49 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    Jedeve, haha that is exactly what she should say.

    Post # 13
    Member
    45 posts
    Newbee

    I agree with sassygrn, I’m a Minnesota Lutheran too (well, I was raised Lutheran) and this isn’t a Lutheran thing at all. I think his family just doesn’t have much of an idea of how fun and colorful weddings can be these days. Do your own thing and I’ll bet they come around and love it in the end.

    Post # 14
    Member
    136 posts
    Blushing bee

    Its all personal preference of the bride and groom. I don’t think anything needs or be white, or if it is the preference of the bride and groom everything can be white.

    I may wear a white dress, but that all depends on what I find that I love. My unity candle will probably be white or ivory, but that is just because that’s what I have seen that I have liked.

    Post # 15
    Member
    167 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    As followers of Christ, we live according to God’s Word. That’s our standard.

    Yes, the bride is a reflection of Christ: pure and holy and that’s where the white comes in (in context, it’s more about our inner self than our outer self). No where in the Bible does it say everything wedding-related must be white. Do you think people in the Old Testament wore white? Probably not. Society has made so many wedding rules…that aren’t really rules at all, just preferences.

    I love this verse in 2 Corinthians 5:9 “We make it our aim to please Him.” As long as what is worn is modest and what is done brings honor to God, you’ll be fine. As for bringing color into it: look at the world He has created! It abounds with myriads of such breathtaking colors!

    I’d say ROCK THAT COLOR! : )

    Post # 16
    Member
    49 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    Brightyellowgaloshes I like what you said very much.

    The topic ‘the “white obsession”… please help.’ is closed to new replies.

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